"What happened to you?"

[Marie12]

While we were leaving Church Sunday, myhusband was pushing me out in my manuel wheelchair, and a forty year old man comes up to me and asked, "What happened to you?" I was kind of confused, because he didn't ask me, "Is there anything I can do during the week to help you?" Instead, he asked, "What happened to you?" Well, my husband just kept pushing the chair away.

That is not a question I can answer in less than an hour. I did look down at my shoes, to see if they were clean, or I somehow got 'mud' on them. But they were clean, and actually my shoes looked pretty nice. So I immediately thought about the lady that posted on here, and while on vacation, sometimes walked, and then needed her wheeled transportation.

I did remember 'later' that I did have the CCSVI surgery, and was walking for six months.

Anyway, I just wanted to post, that I did understand about the lady going to 'Disney.' I am probably in the same boat.

Take care,
Marie

[hunterd]

you have to love it when someone says something without thinking. And that is usually what happens ( at lease to me it does).

[MSW1963]

Marie12, I know how embarrassing it can be when acquaintances or even store clerks comment about my occassional difficulty walking.

I do have to remind myself that these people mean no malice or harm. Most are surprised by the sudden change, and usually sincerely concerned. Maybe a little bit nosey too, but harmless just the same.

Sometimes it's the people I see regularly at the supermarket, convenience store, etc., who make no comment at all when I'm struggeling to walk that make for the most awkward long pauses and silent moments. The hurrider I go, the longer it takes me to make a clean get-a-way, more awkward it seems to get. I sometimes try to fill the sinence with small talk about how busy the store is, or how quiet it is on a slow day in the store. The brief conversation alone make me feel better.

[Thinkimjob]

Feel free to launch in to the whole disaster - most of them won't ask twice.

Actually, I'm kind of enjoying my now all too obvious disabiedness. Lots of kind "can I help?" and "what a bugger of a disease, you poor thing". It's okay.

All those years of pretending I was fine, when I really wasn't. All that energy, emotional and physical, spent on maintaining an "I'm all right" facade.

Stuff it. I'm sick, I feel sick and let's face it, I look sick. Who am I trying to kid? I think it was me, more than anyone else.

Still, got 12 good years. Where's my Oscar?

[mjan]

I am sorry for your experience, but just wonder what it is supposed to teach you, and this gentleman? (this lesson is for all of us, I believe).

It sounds like he wondered what could've happened that put you in a wheelchair. He rather blurted it out, much like a child would. Again, his intentions may have been out of concern and well being. It is up to you how to respond. (your lesson).

What I say, if someone asks (I walk with a cane) is "I am having some problems with me legs, or "I have a problem with the muscles in my leg. Thank you for asking."

To me, anyway, most people mean well and are concerned. It is up to us to teach them HOW we want to be treated. You can also decline to respond, but smile at them to acknowledge them as people.

Some of us take this inquiry as ignorant, or intrusive, so I understand that as well.

So maybe you could decide ahead of time (along with your husband) if or how you want to respond, so you are comfortable. There probably WILL be a next time, right?

Good luck ..keep us informed as to how you are doing.

Warmly, Jan

[lstrl]

Things like this are why I'm glad the only people I'm ever around anymore are my family and they know what's going on. One of my biggest fears when my walking was at its worst was that I'd run into someone I knew while grocery shopping or something and they would see that I couldn't walk normally. Luckily, the one time I did walk right past someone I knew, he acted like he didn't even see me (we worked together but didn't like each other, so he only acknowledged me when he had to). It still didn't stop me from trying to walk as normally as I could at that moment, and I was so embarrassed that he might see me walking out to my car parked in a handicap spot.

The day I went in for my MRIs that led to my diagnosis, a volunteer was escorting me back to the MRI area and he saw my pathetic walk and asked me if I could make it. He was only being nice and doing his job, but that bothered me. As someone who is new to this, it is really hard to accept having a disability. Luckily for me, I've been steadily improving, so I don't think I have much of a walking disability anymore (and with the amount of walking typically required while out, nobody would ever know I have one). I've been thinking positively about it (I really think my weakness will go away in the next 6 months), but that constant fear is always in the back of my mind, when is it going to come back?

[oceanpride]

What happened to you?

Hi Marie.

It's a good thing you didn't tell him. He probebly had a miracle cure for you , for a small fee. I tried 3 of them , all from well meaning church people. Spent lots on them. Desperate people will try anything. I don't even go to church any more, mostly afraid of ansering a lot of "well meaning`` questions. Actually, I think God`s forgoten about us anyway. I guess I`m just slowley loseing my religen, along with every thing else.