Cabin fever

[lstrl]

I've been out of work for two months now due to my latest flare. I lost my job since I was brand new when it hit, so I have nothing to go back to. I have definitely been getting better, but due to the fact that my profession requires me to be on my feet quite a bit, I'm not ready to start applying for jobs yet. If I did get a new job right now, I would never last one day. I've also looked at different jobs, but they don't pay nearly enough, plus they don't want me due to my work experience.

I never thought I would miss work (I complained all the time and I absolutely hated getting up at 5 am every day), but I am so bored out of my mind from sitting at home every day, I'd absolutely love to work again! I definitely need the money (I'll be running out in the next two months, I expect), but it is so much more than that right now. I miss the daily interaction with my coworkers and feeling like I actually do something.

I live alone and I've always loved it before, but I am so tired of being alone all the time right now. I'm very close to my family, and I've been spending pretty much all day on the weekends with them, but that still leaves 5 days a week with absolutely no human interaction, and I just can't take it anymore. I do text a few friends regularly, but right now that's not doing anything for me.

I go between my tv and my computer all day long every day. After two months, there are only so many movies you can watch. I used to enjoy browsing at stores on my days off, but now I can't justify doing anything like that because I don't want to waste the gas in my car when I have no income. Plus, it'll remind me of everything I can't have. I used to make enough money that I could buy pretty much whatever I wanted.

I just don't know what to do anymore. How can I keep myself from going crazy when I can't do anything like I used to do?

[poohb3ar]

does your post ever bring back memories.
i was 'budgeted out' of my preschool teaching position, of which the last 2 yrs i taught from a w/c.
after not working 40+ hrs i quickly was able to get along with just a cane most of the time.
this didn't make me miss teaching any less though.

i went on unemployment because we had to have some money coming in. my DH had just went down from 2 jobs to 1, by choice, he was working too hard.

after 6 mos of really trying to get a job, i, too, was turned away because of experience & education, i couldn't get a job in a several county radius!

i went on disability. but there's other options. if you're still able to do some kind of work, maybe not what you were in, but something- i would go for it if i were you.

check your local ADA office and see what programs they have. (American Disabilities) i know there was a program i qualified for but choose not to do because of my MS was progressing rapidly & my age.
But it helped you find jobs that are disability friendly and even have schooling to train you for jobs you're interested in.
i'm sorry i can't remember the name of the exact program.
ours was located in the county courthouse.
ADA should know about it.

if nothing else, get out and volunteer. Many churches, charities are always needing extra hands. contact your local MS Society to see if they know of any.

Being alone so much will drive you crazy and is not good for your physical or mental health.

praying you find the right answers.

please keep us updated. we care about you!

God bless ya!

[CaroleL]

Hi Istrl,

There are programs that can reintroduce you to the workplace, taking count of your limitations. I think it was through the MS society but I can't remember where I saw it. Please check with your closest chapter to see what they offer.

I know what cabin fever is! I've been pretty much cooped up for two years. Can you family and friends visit you at home? Maybe there are other MSers in your area who could have get-together just to socialize. Maybe you could organize something like that.

I really feel for you! It's not easy being alone. We're here too! Maybe get a thread going in The Good Life for people who just want to chat?

I hope you find a solution to this.

[22cyclist]

I completely understand how you feel. I am alone all day too. My husband comes home at night, but he is a surgeon, and sometimes he get called back in to go back to work. I sleep a lot. I can't really get out on my own. I try to do chores when I am up to it.

I am sorry you are so sad. At least you can get out and drive a little. Go to the grocery store, or the pharmacy if you feel like it. It makes the days less long.

Good luck and feel better
Lisa
Moderation Team

[journeyman]

ISTRL -Two issues.

I had to check the posts to see if you were referring to the usual winter "cabin fever" or the disorder of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Many people, me included and a former RN suffer from that. I never had SAD until I moved to Vermont. After three years of battling that and seeing shrinks I got on medication which only helped minimally. I attempted suicide once and my shrink told me to I needed to move back to FL to get more sun or I would probably take my own life.

Moved back to FL and they were right. My SAD aside from my MS has greatly improved.

Now to your second issue. I was a Clinical Psych. RN. so all this was particularly depressing. I just couldn't seem to heal myself and my co-workers thought I ought to be embarrassed to have a psych disorder and suggested that I "caught" it from work.

When I was first dx.d with MS I was on Rebif for two years and was bedridden. I figured my life was pretty much over from what I knew about MS. If I had schizophrenia I would have been able to better judge my prognosis but neuro was a bit out of my field.

I studied while I was bedridden and then discovered this site. The people here supported me and gave me hope. My Neuro found my Vit. D. was very low and boosted me from the 20 and 30's to 78. My wife tells me I act like I am thirty years old now. Fortunately I live in FL and the sun helps with the vit. D. and the SAD.

Last year I finally made it outside again. I built a 12' X 12" veggie garden. We have been eating from it all (our) winter.
This year I build a gape arbor with (lol) wine grapes. This year I have doubled my garden. The more sun I get the better I feel.

For you northerners vit. D and a full spectrum lamp might help get you boosted upright so you can do some things. Be sure to check this out with your Neuro first so that they can keep track of your vit. D. blood levels. That might not be your specific problem. Even right now I am writing this with my full-spectrum desk lamp, or "Ott" lamp on. It seems to boost me on those extended cloudy periods.

I hope this helps. Sorry to be so talkative. My wife says I write like I talk - lots. Stay with us because this place and the people in it have been the greatest support for a Psych RN who couldn't heal himself.
Dave, Tampa, FL
"Journeyman"

[lstrl]

Thanks for all the advice. It is really appreciated.

I may have to call around and see what my options are with the rehabilitation. On the other hand, I keep telling myself, what if I just hold out a little longer? I am feeling much better than I was, but I guess I also have no idea if where I'm at right now is permanent or not. The numbness is taking forever to go away, but I guess if it hasn't yet, there's always the chance that my mobility will improve even more, allowing me to go back to the only work I know.

I did do a little searching last night and I did find some info about MS groups in my city. I don't know if they still meet or not, but I figured I should call and find out. I did see that one of them meets at the hospital I was just working at in December

I feel like my biggest problem is that I get so bored during the week. I want to start taking walks around the neighborhood (it totally beats using my treadmill, which I haven't used in the past week. Maybe that's part of my problem), but right now the weather changes so much, that's not always an option. One day it's 60 and the next day we get snow. Then again, on the days it snows, I like staying home and watching it, knowing I don't have to drive in it.

I always go to the grocery store on the weekend, and I'm thinking it might be best to switch that to a day during the week. That'll give me one more thing to get done so I'm not stuck at home.

I find it funny how I did nothing but complain about work while I worked. I would have loved to be able to just quit my job and stay home all the time. Obviously money is a big issue with all that, but the money aside, I still miss working mostly because it has always occupied my time. I'm an RN as well, and I hated days I got stuck working late and didn't have very much time left to just chill at home before going to bed and doing it all over again, and now that I can't, I miss it so much. You can't realize work has such an effect on you until you can't do it anymore.

[Milhous]

you have to find something else to occupy your time volunteering is great there are many places that would love to have your time schools, nursing homes, church ...
that took awhile when I had to quit work as it had taken so much of my time and it took care of the social interaction.
But find something and get out of the house.

[mjan]

{{{{ ISTRL }}}}

Hugs my friend~

Oh how I wish we lived closer. Sounds like my life! LOL I miss WALKING with music for health. But I count my blessings as I can still walk, just not very far. I am not in a nursing home, or wheel chair and can still drive=many blessings~

I had to suddenly leave my job 3 years ago. Never knew that it would result in perm disability. I too live alone and on my computer all day. I do volunteer online answering letters from sad, lonely, folks, mostly young people..luv it!

Glad you found some MS groups, hope they are still meeting. Ask them what they do all day if they are not working. I also go to the MS day conferences sponsored by the drug companies just to get OUT! Nothing like being with other MSers to reach out and find others much worse than me.

So know it is ok to feel what you are feeling. This may pass..hope it does. How are your B-12 and Vit D levels? It makes a big difference!

Know too that you can write me anytime. Seriously..I am much older, but still spirited!!
This time offers you the opportunity to re-evaluate, to love yourself up and offer to others. This time, can lead to a greater development and appreciation of your own spiritual path..

When you do work again, you'll be even more compassionate and understanding..than before, as now you know how it feels.

My email address is in my profile. Just ID that you are from MS World..

Warmly, Jan