Did Nancy Lanza have M.S.??

[Tawanda]

I live in CT, very close to the Sandy Hook tragedy. I just read a post here that mentioned Nancy Lanza's SIL revealed that Nancy Lanza had M.S. I did an immediate google and got several hits.

I am not sure how this revelation would factor in to her son's ultimate upbringing, but I am lucky to have a DD who is comparatively easy to raise compared to many children I have observed. If Ms. Lanza did indeed have M.S., certainly the physical and mental challenges of raising a mentally troubled son would be extremely difficult.

True or not, there are so many variables to this horrific shooting that we may never be able to wrap our heads around the "why?" factor. I am guessing that in the final analysis, we will be looking at a Perfect Storm scenario.

Eventually the world will fall into step again for those of us in the outer circle, but for those families who lost precious little children? They will replay this tragedy every day for the rest of their lives, long after the media has moved on.

[JerryD]

I know where you're coming from. It is sickening that these kinds of senseless acts exist and affect us emotionally, socially, politically etc. Sometimes, I feel like the 'felons' are keeping me from carrying my AR-15 (Bushmaster) into the woods for hunting my next meal. lol
Either way, I pray for the families who lost their babies and for a more 'just' and sane world. I also remind everyone that the 'News' people are exposing the information. Don't kill the messenger ! Good luck

[kittysmith]

I am that mother.

I have MS and am raising a son with Autism. He's 6. It is extremely difficult to get him to understand emotions and when someone is hurting. Sometimes, if I cry, he head-butts me in the face or he slaps me. But, it's ultimately my job to teach him right from wrong. It's not his fault that he doesn't get these things. My days are long and the pain makes some days worse than others. Having said that, I wouldn't trade my little angel for any other child in the world. He's taught me patience, understanding, and selflessness.


I also will not be teaching him to shoot a gun. Though, even if he wasn't on the spectrum, that's just not something I believe in.

I'm sure she was not a bad mom. I'm sure she did the best she could. But if she did have MS and was raising her child as a single mother, it could not have been easy. I know my life would be much more difficult without my husband.

Living with MS is not easy. Some of us are worse off than others. But, if you know someone who has a child with special needs, tell them they are doing a good job and offer to help any way you can. If you see a child having an uncontrollable tantrum in a store, don't assume the parent is not doing a good job. They may just be dealing with a child on the spectrum.

Thanks for listening to someone who has been there.

[MSW1963]

I posted a statement attributed to Nancy Lanza's SIL that she had MS.

She was by all appearences the doting mother, devoted to her emotionally fragile son, generous with her friends, and well liked. Obviously flawed, but doing her best, or at least what she thought was best. I'm opinionated about our culture of violence, but she is not here to defend herself, so I'll leave it at that.

I'm also curious about the Mental Health care her son was recieving. I suspect a lot of CYA has/is taking place in that regard.

I have my doubts about how much more info will ever see the light of day, between her ex's media connections and wealth, and her family's connections in law enforcement, I think anything that can be done to protect her legacy will be done.

If all things were equal, and this happened in a working class neighborhood to a financially and emotionally overwhelmed single mother, I suspect the story would probably have been brutal to the extreem with the minutia of their lives revealed in every ugly detail, IMO.

The tradegy is enormous and heartbreaking.

[deb46]

They mentioned in one of the broadcasts after the shooting that she did have MS. My prayers still going out to these families.

[Jules A]

I'm also curious about the Mental Health care her son was recieving. I suspect a lot of CYA has/is taking place in that regard.

I'm curious as to what you mean by this.

[MSW1963]

I'm curious if the MH provider was aware of the target practice and training in the use of fire arms, considering his emotionally unstable and fragile condition.

Also, if the reports are to be believed, Adam spent many hours playing violent computer games, which doesn't sound like the healthiest form of entertaiment for any child, much less one with mental health problems and in a fragile, sensative emotional state.

Considering Adam's social isolation, I find it hard to believe his mother wasn't aware, and based on training in use of fire arms, she saw no harm in Adam engaging in these activities.

Wonder what MH providers knew about the forms of entertainment their patient was engaged in, and any culpability they own, if any. Just my opinion, of course.

[Jules A]

I'm curious if the MH provider was aware of the target practice and training in the use of fire arms, considering his emotionally unstable and fragile condition.

Also, if the reports are to be believed, Adam spent many hours playing violent computer games, which doesn't sound like the healthiest form of entertaiment for any child, much less one with mental health problems and in a fragile, sensative emotional state.

Considering Adam's social isolation, I find it hard to believe his mother wasn't aware, and based on training in use of fire arms, she saw no harm in Adam engaging in these activities.

Wonder what MH providers knew about the forms of entertainment their patient was engaged in, and any culpability they own, if any. Just my opinion, of course.

Thanks for replying!

Sadly in terms of his outside activities care providers might have known or might not have known but would be limited to advising them to examine the implications. FWIW I would bet my next paycheck that if they were informed of these activities they would have strongly suggested they were discontinued.

In general most mental health care providers only get a small part of the picture based on what the parent or patient shares and they are unable to force someone to change their practices no matter how dangerous they might be especially if they are not illegal. In my state mandatory reporting is limited to homicidal threats or suspected abuse.

FWIW I do believe his Mother used very poor judgement, probably unintentionally and maybe largely due to denial, but none the less it was reckless and ended in disaster.

[Tawanda]

I posted a statement attributed to Nancy Lanza's SIL that she had MS.

She was by all appearences the doting mother, devoted to her emotionally fragile son, generous with her friends, and well liked. Obviously flawed, but doing her best, or at least what she thought was best. I'm opinionated about our culture of violence, but she is not here to defend herself, so I'll leave it at that.

I have my doubts about how much more info will ever see the light of day, between her ex's media connections and wealth, and her family's connections in law enforcement, I think anything that can be done to protect her legacy will be done.

If all things were equal, and this happened in a working class neighborhood to a financially and emotionally overwhelmed single mother, I suspect the story would probably have been brutal to the extreem with the minutia of their lives revealed in every ugly detail, IMO.

You make a lot of sense. The media has quickly moved on, and still, no answers. Personally, I am desperate to know the ugly details! I even bought a National Enquire with a headline promising answers, and it revealed NOTHING (not suprisingly). Until we diagnose the problem, we will not even begin to take one step towards fixing it.

BTW, I heard on the news that at least one person plans on suing the State of Connecticut for the Newtown tragedy.

[Tawanda]

Also, if the reports are to be believed, Adam spent many hours playing violent computer games, which doesn't sound like the healthiest form of entertaiment for any child, much less one with mental health problems and in a fragile, sensative emotional state.

Although I agree completely, I think this is a symptom of the problem (whatever the problem is). After all, a lot of boys play these games go through life with not so much as a traffic ticket. After all, as gross and offensive as these games are to me, the targets aren't babies! WHY did Adam Lanza target babies? I haven't heard anything that even comes close to explaining this most troubling aspect of this nightmare!

[MSW1963]

After all, a lot of boys play these games go through life with not so much as a traffic ticket.

True, but the combination of an isolated, emotionally fragile boy lacking skills necessary to cope with the most basic issues of the human condition, with constant exposure to violent interactive games, the support and the training to use deadly weapons, well that sounds like the worst possible combination of circumstances.

Did his already unstable condition suddenly deteriorate as he matured, triggered by his mother's recent travels and/or the possiblility of being institutionalized? There is no sane explanation for what he did. It somehow made sence to Adam Lanza and to others who have committed similar acts.

Concerning other boys who play those games, they may have perfect driving records, but I am more curious about how desentesized they become from the constant exposure to aggressive and violent interactive images.

Very few people, even those with constant exposure at an early age to violent interactive images, committ these kinds of acts, and they are still considered rare.

[maitrimama]

I really don't think that it is any of my business whether or not Nancy Lanza has MS or not. I know many women with major health issues who are fantastic mothers, I also know very healthy women who are terrible moms. There are way too many variables involved to focus in on one or 2 issues. I haven't heard a specific Dx for Nancy or Adam Lanza and I doubt we ever will.

I too live in Connecticut, not too far from Newtown but then again CT is small and I don't think anywhere in CT is farther than 2 hours driving from Sandy Hook. I think our CT collective heart broke that day.

I have a close family in local law enforcement (and my dad is a retired policeman) so we know lots of people in law enorcement in our town and a close family friend is a police officer in a town very close to Newtown. He worked guarding the crime scene that first weekend, his wife said she could hear him crying in the shower. We haven't heard too much and I don't think they will be releasing additional info anytime soon.

I am going up on Wednesday to volunteer, just answer phones for 2 hours. It is all so heartbreaking. - M

[maitrimama]

P.S. I have a healthy respect for guns and know how to shoot and care for guns. I don't love them but having a dad as a police officer they have always been around. I have always wondered why people use semi-automatic firearms to hunt, that I don't get?

[Tawanda]

I have always wondered why people use semi-automatic firearms to hunt, that I don't get?

Me either? What kind of sport is there in THAT? You might as well just go to the deli and buy the meat!

I am originally from Michigan. Any hunter worth his salt uses a bow and arrow IMHO.

[Tawanda]

I too live in Connecticut, not too far from Newtown but then again CT is small and I don't think anywhere in CT is farther than 2 hours driving from Sandy Hook. I think our CT collective heart broke that day.

-M

I can't agree with you more. DD is restless and driving us up the wall, but it is with great angst I return her to school tomorrow. I'll bet many parents are in the same, sad boat.