Where do I go? Dont know what to do!

[fishnbuddy]

My life is crashing all around me. Im about to loose my wife and my home. My total income is 907 dollars SSI per month, how am I going to live on that? I can walk and function however Im weak with MS/age (59)/arthritis/other ailments all keep me from working a regular job. Do I need assisted living? Will they accept me at a younger then usual retirement age?

Please tell me where to look for guidance.

[Camsue]

Hi fishinbuddy

Sorry to hear everything's happening at once..some of us have gone through the divorce and diagnosis too..

I think it's time to start making real plans..take out a pen and paper start thinking about solutions.
1) Is your marrage over or do you need to work harder together?
2) Do you have relatives, children, siblings, parents you can get help from?
3) Being 59..have you paid into social security 40 quarters so you are vested and can possibly get more money through Social Security disability?
4) Do you have rental assistance apartments in your area for low income or disabled persons?

You can find a lot of information on line or calling on the telephone.

I vote for #1-trying to romance your wife back into your life..you'll both be happier..good luck

[choco]

Have you tried speaking with your family doctor? Perhaps contact the MS Society or an MS support group in your area? Sorry I can't be of greater help, hopefully others will come along and offer their ideas. Best of luck.

[fishnbuddy]

Sorry to hear everything's happening at once..some of us have gone through the divorce and diagnosis too..

I think it's time to start making real plans..take out a pen and paper start thinking about solutions.
1) Is your marrage over or do you need to work harder together?
No she is mental, I cant take her any more.
2) Do you have relatives, children, siblings, parents you can get help from?
No what ever is left of my family are all morons

3) Being 59..have you paid into social security 40 quarters so you are vested and can possibly get more money through Social Security disability?
Im on SS since 1993
4) Do you have rental assistance apartments in your area for low income or disabled persons?

Will have to look into it

You can find a lot of information on line or calling on the telephone.

I vote for #1-trying to romance your wife back into your life..you'll both be happier..good luck

There is no happness with her, she is miserable and keeping me miserable along with her, Im nearly 60, how much time do I have left? 10 years? 20 if Im lucky, why should I have to live it miserable?

[Seasha]

Sorry top hear of your troubles, fishnbuddy~

I agree that you should apply for SSDI if you qualify!!

Though the National MS Society, there is some financial assistance available http://www.nationalmssociety.org/liv...ram/index.aspx

Also on this same page is a link to your local MS chapter in your area that may be of some help. You could also call 1-800-344-4867.

I see that you also work online and hope that is successful for you!

[DianeD]

Don't need 'romance'.,,

Really, Romance? You've got problems that need a lot more than romancing the wife. Sometimes our illnesses help to throw a light on what might, even under other circumstances, be a bad relationship.

I respectfully submit that the poster who suggested that misread your post.

Other than that the suggestions were good.

There are often residences (55 and over) that will rent to you for what you can afford. Usually there are age and income qualifiers. Sounds like you would fit their means testing.

I'd check with the local MS Society to see if they have recommendations.

Google 'over 55' communities or 'income restricted' residences. You might find something. Often you have to put your name on a waiting list; it often moves fast.

Otherwise check out the assisted living residences, though I am not sure you can get in to one unless you qualify through Medicaid.

Are you on SSDI? I think you must be as you wouldn't otherwise qualify due to your age.

Don't stay miserable., but do some homework to find out what you can expect.

Best of Luck to you. Diane

[palmtree]

You can come live with me. I'm 59, with a SSDI of $972/mo. Still walk and drive.

I'm just teasing. I don't proposition people on the internet.

But, what I am serious about is that I am in the same boat. It is very scary! I have looked into assisted living and it ain't cheap. They want about $3000/mo just for rent and that doesn't cover any of the caregiver expenses or food.

My husband, who I separated from in 1994, was supporting me until 2010 [just when I was diagnosed] when he lost his job and the money stopped. Last spring I sat on his doorstep all night one night crying. When he woke up in the morning I told him I need his help. I have to come back. He said he is planning to put a second story on to the house so I could have my own apartment and he could rent out the top floor to give him money for his retirement. He is scared ,too. And our son, who is working is rear end off to have a career, is going to be stuck with $200,000 of student loans.

I wish our government could see what it is like for people like us. The people who have been healthy with lucrative careers and a fat IRA get big fat Social Security checks and sick people are in poverty.

I have thought about this a lot and wonder if we could pool our resources and make our own MS community. We could share caregivers and abilities. Those cannot walk can help those who have lost vision. Anyway, it is just the kind of thing I think about.

I wish you the best and I agree with the other responses. If you can repair the relationship with your wife, that would help.

[tejokid]

If you happen to be a veteran, look up eBenefits online. Each state has a listing of services available through the VA to help with a wide range of things.

[cosake]

Contact your local town or city hall. They should also be able to point you in the right direction for services that are available in your area, and low income home options. Also, you can try to call "211".

Best of luck.

[FourPaws]

I know of two ladies who both have disability due to fibro that found each other after separating from spouses and now are roommates to make ends meet. It works so well because they both understand exactly what it's like.

If things come to that, may be another option for you. Hope that this hill smooths out for you.

[BigA]

Get on the phone. Often times it's a question of "Don't ask, don't get" and there are numerous forms of aid available to you through various Federal, State and Local government. If your wife works, you may be able to receive alimony. Certainly contact the MS Society and Social Security. From there on, there are grants, allowance's, etc. You should even be able to get discounted utilities if you are able to keep your own home.

[Camsue]

DianeD -I stand by my answer 100%..having gone through my divorce after diagnosis I wish I tried harder to stay with my husband. Sometimes when you take a step back and try to remember why and how you got together and start reacting differently to ea other you can rekindle the love and affection you once had. ......

Nobody suggested anything like that to me and I was pretty angry....and now I'm alone

I agree with palmtree...there should be a place we could go to help/meet each other.. I did try looking for a website for people with MS looking for matches, but that was 10+ years ago and there wasn't anything like that..

I have been alone a long time and am doing fine......my best wishes to you fishnbuddy