Talents no longer used

[CGMoonbeam]

I'm not depressed, but I am ticked off that I can't do so many of these things.

It's a little irritating to try to share something on this board and immediately be dx as depressed or suicidal. I haven't been on for a while for that very reason. I needed to make it a longer stretch.

[Seasha]

GGMoonbeam~ Please don't take what others feel as an indicator of what you are feeling. I think people here genuinely care and share their own personal experiences when things are not peachy or stressful or whatever!! We are try to wear each others shoes at time - whether they fit or not. And sometimes that means giving out suggestions. And in doing so, we have to remember that we all have different styles of sharing.

We respect the fact that you are ticked off, angry, mad, etc, and You have every right to be. We all do at times. I'm sorry that things got turned around - You were just trying to ask the question of what we've had to give up - right?

Well, I had to give up my job that I loved and the income it generated, not to mention the fact that when I worked I felt a sense of purpose. I had to give up hiking in the mountains and walking in general like normal people do. I gave up planting new shrubs and trees in my yard. I gave up sewing. I gave up going out with friends anytime after dinner. The list goes on...it's been so long that I forget all that I could do.

Do I get ticked off? At times, you bet I do!! I still cry and have pity partys. But, I don't dwell on it anymore. It takes too much of my precious energy to go down that road.

I'm just saying that we would hate to see you stay away. You have much to contribute to us here and we have learned from your contributions!! I, for one, appreciate your honesty!

[Mynamegoeshere1]

Seasha

Seasha,

I am definitely not depressed, but find myself dwelling on what all I cannot do. I am seeing a therapist, but they don't and will probably never understand even though they specialize in people with these types of diseases. My question is, how did you stop yourself from dwelling on this?

In this small year, I have lost my job and am on ltd, ssd, have very little mobility, hard to do anything with my arms due to how quick they get weak, and with my new Tysabri, I am always tired so I sleep most of the day, watch tv, or look at my ipad. These are all constant reminders that make it hard for me to forget. I really want to find a way to not dwell though and be more positive

[Seasha]

My question is, how did you stop yourself from dwelling on this?

Myname~ good question! First, I am older than most people here and truthfully, I don't have much energy to dwell on it anymore. Secondly, and most importantly, it took a couple years of therapy to find some peace with my situation. With my therapist's help, I made some significant attitude changes. I am forever grateful, because I went in there screaming and kicking and crying!!

With her help, I came to a place inside called acceptance. But before I got there, I had to grieve for my loses over and over again - anger, denial, isolation, etc. This is a deeply personal experience that all of us at some point go through. Loss is loss.

I finally realized there was nothing I could do to change the fact of living with MS. All I could do was change my attitude about it. One thing was to try and not dwell on the negatives. Yea, a real hard one that. But, with time and patience (with myself!), I'm getting there. I still grieve! I allow that with full expression, and in doing so, I get it out! That it turn gives me more room to breath and allow and then move on. And Myname, just by stating that you wish to be more positive, you are already on your way

There is not a day that goes by that I don['t think about MS, mine and others here- My heart goes out to all - especially those of you who are younger. I believe we are all brave warriors!!

Thank you, Myname and GG for allowing me some room for expression here. Keep your chins up. Breath and allow~~ Hugs to you both!

[rdmc]

It's important to distinguish what can't be done vs what can't be done the same way, or as well.

I'm not qualified to tell you what you might be able to do or how you should feel, but I have dealt with depression and it can make any level of suffering look insurmountable.

Well since the title of the thread is Talents You No Longer Use, I do believe that there are things that can't be done, not only in the same way but at all.

Depression is real, but there are many folks on this board that are on anti-depressants, that still cannot do what they want to do. It's just not possible...therefore, their talent falls to the wayside.

MS is such a varied disease, that none of us can really make judgements about the other, because we don't live in their body. It is not a generalized disease, each with the same symptoms....and a good attitude, no matter how important, won't keep MS from taking from some more than from others.

Over on the progressive forum, theres a 3 part video posted of Annette Funicello (don't watch it if you've never seen end stage progressive MS.) But I mention it to say that when they were interviewing her friend, in the last segment, she said Annette has always been positive, never complaining, and her husband, who's her primary caregiver, still holds out hope for something to help her (that's why they made the video to raise money for CCSVI.) Her positive attitude, fame, and wealth did not change the ravages of the disease for her.

So just tread softly when assessing what somebody else needs, like an antidepressant, or what someone else could accomplish if they just adapted...it's the old "walk a mile in my shoes" adage.

I know you're trying to help, and anti-depressants are a good thing, but you can't chalk all disappointment and frustration caused by this disease up to depression.

[BigA]

Well since the title of the thread is Talents You No Longer Use, I do believe that there are things that can't be done, not only in the same way but at all.

Depression is real, but there are many folks on this board that are on anti-depressants, that still cannot do what they want to do. It's just not possible...therefore, their talent falls to the wayside.

MS is such a varied disease, that none of us can really make judgements about the other, because we don't live in their body. It is not a generalized disease, each with the same symptoms....and a good attitude, no matter how important, won't keep MS from taking from some more than from others.

Over on the progressive forum, theres a 3 part video posted of Annette Funicello (don't watch it if you've never seen end stage progressive MS.) But I mention it to say that when they were interviewing her friend, in the last segment, she said Annette has always been positive, never complaining, and her husband, who's her primary caregiver, still holds out hope for something to help her (that's why they made the video to raise money for CCSVI.) Her positive attitude, fame, and wealth did not change the ravages of the disease for her.

So just tread softly when assessing what somebody else needs, like an antidepressant, or what someone else could accomplish if they just adapted...it's the old "walk a mile in my shoes" adage.

I know you're trying to help, and anti-depressants are a good thing, but you can't chalk all disappointment and frustration caused by this disease up to depression.

Thanks for that. I do try to tread gently and I hope I've not overstepped that boundry. I would like to point out that I didn't talk actually about what a person could or couldn't do or antidepressants for that matter.

I don't mean to present things as over optimistic and Pollyanna. I do believe people are depressed and don't realize it, or think "of course they are", so I felt compelled to pitch in.

Maybe CGMoonbeam just wanted a place to rant and that's OK. I'm sorry if anything I said made you not feel comfortable here

[Guzzy]

I used to love archaeology, not a chance of that now, although I can read about it or watch it on tv.

Loved Aikido.
Loved jogging.
Loved hillwalking.

But new talents emerge, new aspects to my life. I still miss the old things though, miss the feeling of being fit and strong. We all do. I am not depressed by the way - sometimes we have to say it like it is, and MS is a complete **** of a disease, really. All these wonderful, talented, diverse, amazing people....and all of us fighting against the limitations it throws in our way.

[Nebbykoo]

I'm not depressed, but I am ticked off that I can't do so many of these things.

It's a little irritating to try to share something on this board and immediately be dx as depressed or suicidal. I haven't been on for a while for that very reason. I needed to make it a longer stretch.

PLEASE feel free to say whatever you like. I won'y judge or call you depressed, or whatever. Just get it out.
I've lost things too. I lost a career in music, a marriage too. Friends don't call anymore. I feel lost in the big world, as if I should be able to pull myself up, but I can't do it. I'm exhaisted most of the time, and not getting any younger. I feel like no one really understands what I'm going through or what I've lost, and I'm not sure what's left.
So I think I get it. Vent as much as you like.

[Holly Golightly]

I can no longer help others. I have no energy or strength to be able to help others with babysitting or moving or whatever is needed.

But you've already helped me. Thank you.

[AnnaMae7]

CGMoonbeam....

I am sorry, I met no dis-respect and as far as assuming you were depressed, I am sorry. I meant only to give suggestions, but you were right you ask what talents me miss....

I use to Embroidry and can't do that anymore...
I use to take long walks, can't do that anymore...
I use to have a marriage, not anymore....

I truly get angry when I think what this disease has taken from me, but I can't dwell on that so for me I work on what I can do... My art, Cooking with my daughter or hanging out with her.

I don't want to be stuck in my home with no life so I do what I can to get out of the home, This has made it easier for me.

Once again, I am sorry.....AnnaMae7

[alliesmommy]

Thanks BigA for your apology. A lot of people would just get defensive. This board is for everyone, to vent, to research, to ask questions or sometimes even to have a pity party.

People grieve differently about a loss, and losing the talents that we once had was a way of defining who we were and having to give that up is a true loss. Some people cry, some never cry, some people get depressed, some people fight it, we are all unique in the way we grieve just as we are all unique in our MS.

For me, I had a successful pet sitting business that had been the passion of my life. I gave up a career in the financial field making ALOT of money to start my own business which didn't make anywhere near the amount of money as before, but I was HAPPY. I recently had to give up it up because I can no longer walk dogs or bend to,feed them or pet them. Am I depressed..... YES and I am on an antidepressant. I mourn the loss of the old me every single day.

I am thankful for this board and the ability that it gives all of us to express our feelings the way we want to whether other agree or not.

[Holly Golightly]

talents no longer used

I've been trying to figure out why I didn't know how to answer the main question posed by this thread. I suppose it is because I've never made myself think about it until now.

Well, here goes . . .

I no longer teach school.
I no longer cook/serve dinner to the homeless.
I no longer drive elderly neighbors to church.
I no longer volunteer at the hospital.
I no longer smile at people I pass on the street.

[3uph0riabunnyfac3]

I've been in sports most of my life. Skating, dance, wrestling....I've been skating in roller derby for a couple years, almost three now not that the last season counts since I haven't skated since December. I'm not the best in the country and couldn't even be on the same league as the best skaters, but I'm good. I've gotten to guest star in other states and have sponsors and interviews and fans that won't watch unless I'm skating. People have never liked me, much less screamed my name and asked for pictures and autographs. The last time I skated this season my arms were paralyzed for two days its killing me not skating. Derby is your life for so long, and the entire package is so addicting....getting it taken away by paralysis, pain, fatigue....its ben horrible. It sounds shallow in comparison I think, but I thought I had a future in it.

[3uph0riabunnyfac3]

I've been in sports most of my life. Skating, dance, wrestling....I've been skating in roller derby for a couple years, almost three now not that the last season counts since I haven't skated since December. I'm not the best in the country and couldn't even be on the same league as the best skaters, but I'm good. I've gotten to guest star in other states and have sponsors and interviews and fans that won't watch unless I'm skating. People have never liked me, much less screamed my name and asked for pictures and autographs. The last time I skated this season my arms were paralyzed for two days its killing me not skating. Derby is your life for so long, and the entire package is so addicting....getting it taken away by paralysis, pain, fatigue....its ben horrible. It sounds shallow in comparison I think, but I thought I had a future in it.