I wasn't sure whether to post this in the Limbo land or here.
I'm still in limbo land. I really do not know what "it".. what this thing..is. All I know is that I am a 42 year old woman who has been struggling with an undiagnosed something or other for MANY years now. And it comes and goes.
So, I am going to share my experience of what it's like to go into a bad phase or down time (which is what i call it) and then coming out the other side of it, back into my normal. Maybe others here can share what it's like for them?
Here is what happened this last time and how my boyfriend described it to me:
Around 2 months ago I had been working more hours than usual as a part time caregiver of an elderly woman who has dementia/alzheimers. We were also experiencing a lot of hot weather at the time. Other than that, nothing else was significantly stressful in my life...
Boyfriend says that my symptoms started (or things I usually have got way worse) around that time. Within a couple weeks I cut down on the work hours which resolved that particular stress. He thought I would start to feel better but I didn't.. and it went on on for several more weeks.
(EXTREME tiredness, blurry vision and dizziness, weakness and sometimes pins and needles on my left side - which got worse if i was in the heat, pain after a few weeks of moving my body differently cause of the weakness and slight numbness, memory was shot and I couldn't think straight but I was still able to be happy and have fun sometimes)
Then... I suddenly seemed to just snap out of it and I "came back" a few days ago. His observation was that it really was that sudden and that I appeared to be pretty much normal again.
My own feeling is that yes, I did suddenly feel a lot better and was able to walk normally again, think, remember, and not in nearly in as much pain.
However.. some of it is a gradual thing and I know I'm still on the mend. And if I do too much I seem to slip back a little. We both do judo and I went to a class a couple days ago and did great after not being able to do much of it for so many weeks!
But I know it took a lot out of me.
I am trying not to be too fearful now of when the next bad phase is going to happen - or how long it will end up being. I have learned to not commit myself to anything new that requires any consistency on my part, cause I end up not being able to follow through sometimes.
There is also an emotional component to this. Even though I felt a huge surge of relief that I was "back", I ended up slipping into some kind of depression. It's almost like the feeling some people get after the holidays are over? Maybe because my body was having to run on adrenaline and endorphins when I was struggling those weeks.. and now it's kind of a let down. Weird
The depressed feeling is also discouragement because I am tired of this. Tired of not knowing what's happening to me and doctors acknowledging that there does seem to be a problem but it's a mystery.. and possibly more psychological than physical. *sigh*
And it's hard to figure out how soon I should try to put tons of energy into catching up on all the things that were neglected during those weeks of just trying to get through each day. (that SOUNDS like depression - but I still don't think it is, because I still went through this off and on, even when I was taking antidepressants over the years)
Anyway... hope this was a good topic to share and I hope to hear others experience with this. Thank you
I'm still in limbo land. I really do not know what "it".. what this thing..is. All I know is that I am a 42 year old woman who has been struggling with an undiagnosed something or other for MANY years now. And it comes and goes.
So, I am going to share my experience of what it's like to go into a bad phase or down time (which is what i call it) and then coming out the other side of it, back into my normal. Maybe others here can share what it's like for them?
Here is what happened this last time and how my boyfriend described it to me:
Around 2 months ago I had been working more hours than usual as a part time caregiver of an elderly woman who has dementia/alzheimers. We were also experiencing a lot of hot weather at the time. Other than that, nothing else was significantly stressful in my life...
Boyfriend says that my symptoms started (or things I usually have got way worse) around that time. Within a couple weeks I cut down on the work hours which resolved that particular stress. He thought I would start to feel better but I didn't.. and it went on on for several more weeks.
(EXTREME tiredness, blurry vision and dizziness, weakness and sometimes pins and needles on my left side - which got worse if i was in the heat, pain after a few weeks of moving my body differently cause of the weakness and slight numbness, memory was shot and I couldn't think straight but I was still able to be happy and have fun sometimes)
Then... I suddenly seemed to just snap out of it and I "came back" a few days ago. His observation was that it really was that sudden and that I appeared to be pretty much normal again.
My own feeling is that yes, I did suddenly feel a lot better and was able to walk normally again, think, remember, and not in nearly in as much pain.
However.. some of it is a gradual thing and I know I'm still on the mend. And if I do too much I seem to slip back a little. We both do judo and I went to a class a couple days ago and did great after not being able to do much of it for so many weeks!
But I know it took a lot out of me.
I am trying not to be too fearful now of when the next bad phase is going to happen - or how long it will end up being. I have learned to not commit myself to anything new that requires any consistency on my part, cause I end up not being able to follow through sometimes.
There is also an emotional component to this. Even though I felt a huge surge of relief that I was "back", I ended up slipping into some kind of depression. It's almost like the feeling some people get after the holidays are over? Maybe because my body was having to run on adrenaline and endorphins when I was struggling those weeks.. and now it's kind of a let down. Weird
The depressed feeling is also discouragement because I am tired of this. Tired of not knowing what's happening to me and doctors acknowledging that there does seem to be a problem but it's a mystery.. and possibly more psychological than physical. *sigh*
And it's hard to figure out how soon I should try to put tons of energy into catching up on all the things that were neglected during those weeks of just trying to get through each day. (that SOUNDS like depression - but I still don't think it is, because I still went through this off and on, even when I was taking antidepressants over the years)
Anyway... hope this was a good topic to share and I hope to hear others experience with this. Thank you
).
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