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    #1

    DNR Planning Ahead etc.

    Hello!
    A post written by CGMoonbeam caught my attention with regard to a spouse disagreeing with a DNR order.

    Whether you want to be a DNR or note it is imperative, imo, to put your wishes in writing as well as discussing it with your family members who will ultimately either follow your wishes or make things a miserable struggle for the medical team caring for you.

    Although it is a gloomy subject I think it is something we should come to terms with and prepare for just in case. MS or not I believe everyone should have an advanced directive outlining what their wishes are in the case of a tragedy. I believe most states have a free one you can download online. Maryland does.
    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    Anonymous
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    #2
    You can get a DNR tattoo, though I don't know how much notice they take. In the old people's home here in town, they actually have to have a "Do Resusitate" order, otherwise it's pretty much curtains.

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      #3
      DNR too.

      Two years ago when I had a perticularly difficult relapse I made out my will and all the associated paperwork. That way my wife, who has been through hell and worry with me and been more of a caretaker than anyone could ask for, does not have to make those difficult decisions.

      I wear a "medic alert" necklace that says, "MS patient - Do Not Resuscitate." on it. That way it is not too obvious but when they take my shirt off to do cpr there is the medic alert signal in red and info on the other.

      I have gone over these things with my wife and it too some extensive chatting to bring her to my decisions. I am a MS ret. Psych Rn. And have seen too many cases. And whenever it comes to a relative or pet I get stuck with the hard decisions because, "You're used to these things and know what is best." So it was only right for me to make my tough decisions in advance. That's why they call them, Advanded Directives."

      I do love tattoos and have several to the bain of my family members. My pastor told me that it was good that I was getting them at my age so that they would still look good when I was in the coffin. He's a trip.

      Dave, Tampa, Florida
      "Journeyman"
      Weather: 86 deg. and 54% hum. Had a terrible rainstorm yesterday with 50-60 mph winds and, quarter-sized hail and dropped a twister into the everglades.
      Status: four years since dx, five months into what is usually a six month remission. Things are already getting fuzzy, and difficult as well as painful. The "lead blanket" (too heavy to get up) has arrived. Despite all I know I still get fearful of my relapses as well as my loving wife who is fearful that I may not emerge on the other side in six months. She is my weathervane. She usually spots my symptoms before I do.

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        #4
        Yes It is very important! I have one ,seperate from my will,
        I've had the "Family Talk" as I'm 66 yrs old,It went very well. Really nobody wants to think about it or talk,but I was there when my DH passed & I saw how much it made a differance,to be all "Pre-Prepared".
        God Bless Nona Judy

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          #5
          My husband views this as negative feelings. He believes that the Gilenya and the Ampyra are going to change everything and that I'll be able to return to work, then he'll tell me that he's not sure that he'll be able to handle things if I get worse without help. Very confusing. I checked into a DNR in AZ. It's available online, but needs to be printed on orange paper to make it legal. I don't do the shopping and don't go out often, so getting orange paper is difficult. I'll have to look into the medical alert necklace.
          Dx 12/2006; first symptoms about 1984, but maybe earlier--on Gilenya and Ampyra.

          "God has a lot of explaining to do"--Frida Kahlo

          Comment

            #6
            I wear a medic alert bracelet that has MS, my medicine allergies, and DNR on it, and I've filled out the DNR paperwork in my state.

            It doesn't require a "tragedy" for a DNR to be useful...just coming to the end of a long life, or succumbing to a progressive degenerative disease such as MS. Death is a part of life, IMHO, and not necessarily a tragedy.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by CGMoonbeam View Post
              It's available online, but needs to be printed on orange paper to make it legal. I don't do the shopping and don't go out often, so getting orange paper is difficult.
              The Arizona Department of Health Services says on their website that they will provide free copies of a DNR form if you contact them. Their general information phone number is on the website.

              Comment

                #8
                Thank you redwings. I'll have to check it out this week. I was also going to talk to my neuro, since he has to sign it, in July during my appt.
                Dx 12/2006; first symptoms about 1984, but maybe earlier--on Gilenya and Ampyra.

                "God has a lot of explaining to do"--Frida Kahlo

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                  #9
                  I don't know what a DNR is, but when I was dx, my hubs and I made arrangements if I had to go into a nursing home. We also made up wills and end-of-life directions.

                  I think not wanting my daughter to have to fight for what I would want her to have had a lot to do with making up wills.

                  I lost both my parents within four years, but they had everything wrapped up for us and that made it easier, at least legally.

                  Do your loved ones a favor and be prepared.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    DNR = Do Not Resuscitate. It means that no "heroic measures" such as using the paddles to bring you back when your heart has stopped will be used on you.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Sequoia View Post
                      I wear a medic alert bracelet that has MS, my medicine allergies, and DNR on it, and I've filled out the DNR paperwork in my state.

                      It doesn't require a "tragedy" for a DNR to be useful...just coming to the end of a long life, or succumbing to a progressive degenerative disease such as MS. Death is a part of life, IMHO, and not necessarily a tragedy.
                      I basically wrote "tragedy" so I wouldn't start the old "MS won't shorten our life span" debate but I agree 100% about death being a part of life planning. I had an advanced directive with a DNR when I was in my 20s way before MS.

                      Thank you to everyone that wrote and shared their input and experience!
                      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                      Anonymous

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Living Will

                        My mother (no MS) wrote a living will many years back. She told the kids about it (3 of us), and showed us where she had a copy and gave a copy to the eldest, I think. Anyway, she told me she didn't want any of us to have to make the decision - and she didn't want that decision to come between us if we didn't agree.

                        Also, she worked in an emergency room as a nurse for several years. I think that also influenced her decision. A friend of mine who was an emergency room doctor for a while told me about families feeling obligated to try everything, even it would only lengthen life by a day or two - and the patient may be in a coma, or on life support etc. So think of the DNR or Living Will as something for your family, as well.

                        I'm not sure what the difference is between a plain DNR and a Living Will - I suspect it's a state-to-state thing, plus it also covers issues about being alive but not 100% able to communicate. And Mom's also recently expressed concern about the directive not being valid in other states - she and her second husband split time between two states according to the seasons. So keep that in mind when you are preparing paperwork.

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