Work-Sponsored Health Screenings...argh!!

[KateA2]

DH and I work for the same institution. They have a yearly health-rewards program that is voluntary -- you get $100 in your paycheck for filling out a brief questionnaire and attending a 15-30 minute check-up (waist measurement, cholesterol check, BP, and weight.) Then, if you want, you can sign-up for a 1'ce a month coach to call and give you exercise tips or whatnot.

I was very pleased with my results this year -- 38 pt. drop in cholesterol (yay healthy diet!), 15 lbs lighter, 10 point BP drop...I'm now at optimal stats (except for a few extra lbs, but I digress). I think the program has it's merits - but then this happened:

I've participated for the last 6 years, and for some reason DH participated for the first time this year.

Now I am very angry with the service: one of the questions is "does your spouse have a chronic condition?" DH answered "yes". He was then asked by the nurse "what does she have?" He said: "Probably RRMS".

So, the nurse reviewing his results talked to him for 60+ minutes about how he "needs to take time for himself" and "having an ill partner can destroy your health" "Don't let her suck the life out of you" "What are you going to do when she's incontinent/bed-ridden?" and "It can be especially stressful on men when they have a sick partner as men aren't made to be caretakers" etc.

He calls me up upset, as he has always been one to avoid thinking about unpleasant things, AND he is now worried that MY issues are going to collaterally mess HIM up! Also, that I'm speeding on my way to gibbering bed-riddendom any second...Argh! Stupid, misinformed, idiotic...**** that nurse, and the duncecap she rode in on!

I pay more than 1/2 of our bills, I've paid for supplemental long-term-care and disability insurance for years (long before MS'y stuff surfaced...though I'd better be safe than sorry) I make decent money, I make all of our meals from scratch, do our taxes and investments, I garden, do yard work, work full-time, take care of our critters, entertain, and I do it with good-humor, and even when I feel like hell and the TM and TN are burning and stabbing away, I don't spread it around or complain.

I sort of want to say "**** you" to my spouse right now too - but he's just had a "professional" give him a load of crap and scare him...so I guess I'll have the talk (again) about the difference between a chronic condition and a terminal condition. *SIGH*

Sometimes though, I am sick-to-death of having to educate people.

/end rant

[BigA]

The nurse should not have scared him. There's a wife with MS and a wife with MS and the nurse should know better. She should have asked "how is she doing"

If I listened to the nurses that call to check up on me, I'd be a mess.

But don't be difficult about it. If he's geneally a good guy, then allow him to be affected by your disease a little and be scared. Maybe he never considered the seriousness becuase you're doing so well, endure and work hard.

[FL_Jhawk]

My first take is that neither of you should be volunteering personal information like that to other but your own doctors. A health nurse representing the company certainly does not qualify as one who needs to know personal information about someone else. The nurse may have meant well, but she was way out of line in how she presented such a dire future.

But, I am sure he didn't realize what he was dong and no point in beating him over the head with it. Maybe just make a rule that he is not to discuss or disclose your health condition with anyone.

[MarkLavelle]

Soon after placing my first order for Copaxone, Cigna sent a letter to say that they've assigned a 'case manager' for me. But the insurance co. is going to manage my health over my dead body!

They haven't called yet, but I'm quite sure I have nothing to say to them...

[KateA2]

Yeah, You're right - I don't LOOK ill (most of the time) he hasn't fully digested everything...and more to the point, neither have I, as it's been 5 months since the dreaded words: "You have TM, and most-likely have RRMS, and have for a number of years".

I'm extra-prickly about people judging my abilities. I've never discussed any of my neurological-issues at the screenings, so aside from those issues, I'm in the 90th percentile for health (average at our inst. is 65, so not too bad).

I was all cooled-off (haha, not literally...our AC is broken right now, which isn't helping me deal -- it's 93F) when I picked up DH from work - so all's well, and I asked him to please not discuss my health stuff with anyone who's not close friends/family/his own MD. We then went out for dinner and show to escape the heat and all's well.

[KateA2]

and Thank You for reading/listening...I was steamed - good to vent sometimes

[kriscake]

so sorry the doofy nurse freaked your dh out.

I agree with pp, when I was working outside the home, my dh and I were both involved in a similar program but outside of their knowing my height weight and shoesize, I didn't give them anything extra. IMO, they are seeking info to help themselves. They really aren't there for you.

I do agree that caregivers (obviously not what your dh is doing) need to hear that sort of info but in reality, the nurse should have kept her mouth shut since she didn't know what she was talking about. She should have suggested he call in for more info to talk to someone with a bit more knowledge.

I would be very picky about what info they get.

[Codex1554]

Sometimes though, I am sick-to-death of having to educate people.

It sounds like you and the DH talked this out which is a good thing.

IMO the service needs your feedback and your DH's as well. If not, the next time the pattern of spreading misinformation will continue. Don't bother trying to educate the nurse but if you give the feedback to the nurse's employer and possibly your own perhaps the cycle, for this one nurse in particular and possibly others, will end.

Codex

[onlyairfare]

I agree with Codex. Anonymous feedback to the appropriate entity (the nurse's employer, your employer's HR) about the nurse's unprofessional and overly intrusive "advice" is warranted. Such fear-mongering in the guise of 'wellness" or a "health fair" is way out of line.

Who said men can't be caretakers anyway? My husband is a nurse and he does plenty of caretaking, and does a darn good job of it!