Do you get scared

[cali1892]

When you feel really bad, weak trouble walking from weakness, do you get scared? Like I don't want my husband to leave. I dOnt know what I'm scared of, I guess it being like this forever. But I don't want him to leave even to pick up the kids Or run to the grocery store.

[Sequoia]

Yes, I do get scared any time I have to be alone. That's not just because of MS, though...I recently had a stroke and I have some lingering damage from that too.

Basically, I feel fragile, which is not unreasonable because I am fragile. Note to self: gotta work on that, both the feeling and the reality.

[hunterd]

Something to keep in mind, and I'm not downplaying the way you're feeling, I think we all feel that way from time to time. As much as you don't want him to go to the store or pick up the kids, that gives him a little bit of me time. That is something very underrated, everyone needs a little bit of alone time.

With that being said, the feeling of not wanting the other person to leave is IMHO a normal feeling. It is a feeling that I've had numerous times.

[kewi1976]

I have had that feeling before. I think its only natural to feel that way when you're dealing with those issues. I just cant get use to that feeling of having no control over my legs or walking.

So, that feeling of being alone or scared to be alone can set in. I really dont have any advice bc I have been in that same spot and felt completely helpless and mad at the MonSter

[JayEm]

I'm not so worried when my partner leaves (good thing, since she's gone at least 12 hours/day for work!).

But when I'm doing something and get hit with a sudden spurt of exhaustion, it's scary. Hard to describe what makes it scary, but it is. I've worked on staying calm, and that helps, but still... It's even worse if I'm not at home where I can rest.

And I'm afraid of how whatever this is that I have is going to progress (since I'm not yet diagnosed). I can talk myself down and stay calm most of the time, but it still worries me. I think it's why I want a diagnosis so badly--then, at least, I'll have a clearer idea of what to expect.

Illness is scary. (Understatement of the century.)

[valeriem2220]

I over did it on Monday and by 6PM when my daughter and I were finally sitting on the porch relaxing, I started having tremors in my feet. I thought that was very odd because I usually get them in my hands. I knew something was going on.
I then got up to go in the house and my right leg wouldn't work. and my entire body started to shake.
I had tingling, numbness, weakness, skin pain, crawling sensations on my legs, not able to think or focus, trying to type on my computer or text my hands wouldn't work and I couldn't even think to spell, took everything I had to hold my head up, my head was bobbing. The numbing was in my arms and legs and would wave through my head and face at times. If my computer chair didn't have arm rests I would have fallen out of it
I was running into walls and almost fell twice just walking 20 feet. taking that little step over the thresh hold to get into the house was like climbing a mountain for me at the time.
My 14 year old daughter helped me get into the house and to my bedroom, which I hated because when it started I swore I was going to try and hide the way I was feeling so I wouldn't scare her. That didn't work, she noticed as soon as I tried to take a step.

I got to my room and all I could do was cry. I was so scared "IT was happening again"
So many things rushing through my mind....I can't afford this, I can't take time off of work, do I go to the hospital, how am I going to get to the hospital, I was only home with my 14 year old, praying that it was only because I over did it.
I got my tears out and then I started writing. I wrote down everything I was feeling at the time, telling my ex- husband, who is my best friend, but he is still 40 miles away and not here to help me.

The feelings did finally go away around noon the next day and I was feeling ok again.
It makes me wonder
"What the heck am I going to do IF a flare hits?"
"I can't be alone like this"
I am trying to think of options, I have no clue what I am going to do. The only thing I can think of is moving in with my parents again...but that is an absolute LAST resort.
I want to be independent, after all I am 41, and the thought of having to move back in with them so they can take care of me again when they are 70 and 72 is an aweful thought. They like to go places, they like their lives, they have worked hard to raise their kids and do their best for them, they don't deserve to have to care for one again.

Scared? Yes scared to death!

[LisaL77]

I'm scared, but not at home. I love being home and I feel safe here.

I am scared I'll get halfway through the grocery store and can't complete the trip.

[Thinkimjob]

I'm scared. But only if I let myself think about it. I'm like you, valiriem, we're the same age.

I am horrified at the thought of having to move in with my mum and dad.
I try not to think about it. I'm going for the big 2 hour MRI next month, and Tysabri, maybe.
I had a brain haemmorhage six years ago, and sometimes I wish I'd just died.
But, you're a long time dead, and blucky as it's been, it's interesting, if you look at from a distance.

[alishape]

Bad nerves

Maybe you're scared for him to leave because he is a certainty for you when everything else seems to be up in the air. I think it is normal for people who are going through what we are going through to have some kind of anxiety. I feel clingy sometimes, but my anxiety manifests itself mostly as jumpiness and a slight social anxiety disorder, (like I feel dizzy and cloudy headed and everybody can tell so I don't want to be around people). Of course this is a self diagnosis, .

Maybe you can try some medicine, cuz he can't be with you all the time, even though it would be nice. I am taking 60mg of Cymbalta and it works for me. I used to think this type of medicine was for crazy people, but MS put that nicely into perspective for me.

[rdmc]

I don't think it's unusual to feel scared when you're dealing with the kind of weakness that MS can cause.

I know I've panicked myself when I was out in the car, and my "energy balloon" got popped, fatigue sets in and you wonder how you're even going to get home (I have a back up plan to just pull over and call someone to pick my up when/if that happens.)

And I know the scariness of having to be at home by yourself when your health is really bad.

Have you thought about getting a "life button"...do you think that might help with the scariness. That way, you can always poke the button and talk to a live person who could contact help if you need it. I use a cheaper solution, I don't walk around my house, or go anywhere inside my house, w/out a phone. I put it in my pocket, or just carry it, that way if I feel, or had issues, I have a phone handy...and can dial right from where I am.

Also, do you have a neighbor or friend you could call to talk you through the scary times when your husband's not home. MS can really play a number on your sense of self reliance and independence. I do find that once you start to feel just a little better, and make it through a few times when you're by yourself, the fear can lesson and you gain back some of your self assurance about staying alone.

[Waydwnsouth1]

I get scared sometimes. Like somone else said in an earlier post I think that is only normal. More things start happening then we start to wonder. I wonder if my new norm is about to be an old norm.

Loosing my legs is my biggest fear and after finding out last week that I have a spinal cord lesion that is a partial transverse lesion. I am scared that if the lesion becomes complete my biggest fear will be recognized. It may never happen and I don't dwell on it but it sure crosses my mind when my legs start getting weak and I am holding on to things to walk.

As far as where I would rather be. I would rather be at work. I get more compassion and understanding from the guys at work thyan I do at home. They can tell when I am having problems and are more than happy to help out.

But life is great and I am enjoying the days, one at a time.

[donnainct]

@ Cali i absolutely get scared during a relapse i have a 6 year old son adn i had a really bad relapse that lasted like 9 months and I had my mother liveing with me for almost a year until i finally got use to being home alone, but it is scary. I had severe nausea, and leg problems.