Really???? How can you tell?
Maybe its the total of three hours of Ambien and narcotic induced sleep after three nights of electric shocks and horrible cramps..or maybe it is because it is
8AM when you visited and the exhausting fatigue that hits so bad that it takes too much energy to speak has not started yet, or that I have a brief lucid moment today where I actually remember my words and make sense, or maybe the tons of medications I just took to get through the day that makes me feel like a drug addict has not kicked in for the day....or maybe I can actually see who I am talking today instead of a blurry mess ...maybe because I am seated and you do not have the pleasure of seeing my "drunk" walk and the effects of dizzyness.
Don't assume I am feeling MUCH better because I am not. I am living with this thing called MS and it is unpredictable, and is like living in a nightmare at times that you never wake up from no matter how much you promise or bargain with God. Depression? yes. Pain? yes. Anger? Big time. I am obviously not at the "acceptance" stage in the grief process.
Just please do not tell me I am feeling better and I am looking like I am back to looking like my "old self" because nothing could be farther from the truth as what you just said. Looks are deceiving.
Sorry for the rant. It just a rough morning of feeling sorry for myself.
Maybe its the total of three hours of Ambien and narcotic induced sleep after three nights of electric shocks and horrible cramps..or maybe it is because it is
8AM when you visited and the exhausting fatigue that hits so bad that it takes too much energy to speak has not started yet, or that I have a brief lucid moment today where I actually remember my words and make sense, or maybe the tons of medications I just took to get through the day that makes me feel like a drug addict has not kicked in for the day....or maybe I can actually see who I am talking today instead of a blurry mess ...maybe because I am seated and you do not have the pleasure of seeing my "drunk" walk and the effects of dizzyness.
Don't assume I am feeling MUCH better because I am not. I am living with this thing called MS and it is unpredictable, and is like living in a nightmare at times that you never wake up from no matter how much you promise or bargain with God. Depression? yes. Pain? yes. Anger? Big time. I am obviously not at the "acceptance" stage in the grief process.
Just please do not tell me I am feeling better and I am looking like I am back to looking like my "old self" because nothing could be farther from the truth as what you just said. Looks are deceiving.
Sorry for the rant. It just a rough morning of feeling sorry for myself.
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