Want to talk..

[quotefanatic]

I don't really know what I want to talk about right now, but I want to talk...

I want to talk about the dizziness.. the kind that makes me fall on my friends, and hold onto the counter while I walk.

I want to talk about the weakness.. the kind that makes me crawl up the stairs, and scrape up my knees when they buckle and hit the pavement.

I want to talk about the tremors, the kind that makes me drop my pen as I'm writing, and creates waves in my glass of water.

I want to talk about the heat intolerance, the kind that makes me run outside for cold air, and want to puke.

I want to talk about the slurred speech, the kind that makes people look at me like I'm drunk, and makes people ask what I am trying to say.

I suppose there are many things I'd like to talk about.. Anyone else want to talk?

I am okay with all of this, really, I am a very happy person..! But, sometimes I just want to talk.

[Thinkimjob]

Ah, quote fanatic, (IPad auto spell) I think what you need is a good, long vent.
And happily, this is this place to do it.

[dpmich]

Hi QF, I know what you mean! I want to tell people over and over until they understand, want to talk about everything. It's a very frustrating feeling. Are you finding yourself cutting off from people? I have been. I make friends with people, only to pull away. Not sure what that's about.

Talk to us, we get it, really.

[rdmc]

I hear you. I guess that,s my major frustration with my MS of late. If it was just one thing, one symptom, you were dealing with, it would be easier, I think. But it's the onslaught of lots of different symptoms and problems happening simultaneously that boggles the psyche.

I guess I'm a bit of a control freak, and for awhile my MS seemed to "behave" and I knew how to deal with whatever symptom was presenting. Now so many things go wrong at one time it's evident who's in control of my body

My GP compares managing the symptoms to trying to keep a bunch of snakes in a box. I used to say it was like herding cats. My latest description is dealing with the disease is like playing Whack-a-Mole at the arcade. You bop one symptom, and another one pops up to annoy you.

Well, Like thinkimjob said vent away.

[Tinkerbell65]

I can totally relate. No matter how hard you try to find the right words to explain what you're going through no one else can understand better than those experiencing similar things. I think people try to understand and then forget when something doesn't quite jive with their expectations of us.

Love the analogy of the box of snakes- so appropriate!

Vent, vent, and vent some more. So much healthier than holding it in! I don't think you even need to say you're a happy person- the feeling you have are never right or wrong, they just are. Go with it till it passes. And remember we're all here for you. Hugs

[mjan]

Oh hon, what you are going through is soo unfair and unnecessary. Do you call your doc when your symptoms are so bad? I remember going through a lot like your, before being diagnosed and at least were given Oral Steroids which helped.

But again, as I have said before, I admire you, your creativity, spunk, tenacity and ability to reach out when you need us the most.

CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!

Warmly, Jan

[Campbell27]

A place to vent

If you are really lucky you have someone close you can talk to, but I think most of us either aren't that lucky.
That's where I am right now, it feels like there is no one. Mostly because my husband just doesn't respond in anyway that is comforting or helpful. He's not a bad guy he just doesn't have an empathetic bone in his body. I don't want to scare my kids, they're adults but they don't need to worry about me and worry they will.

So here we are:

Frustrated like a pressure cooker about to pop it's valve Scared like a child alone in the dark after a nightmare and Confused like you're lost in the fog not knowing which way to turn

Feeling alone is the worst- I want my mommy.

[jbell2435]

I too know the feeling...hardly anyone even asks how I'm doing anymore, I guess they are afraid I'll tell them....

I don't want to worry my adult kids or mom, they have enough on their plates as well.

And Brad Pitt has nothing on my sensitivity missing husband!

At least we have this place! Hang in there, and count on us to listen.

[502E79]

I have absolutely no desire to talk about it, so no one knows yet. I hide it best as I can.

Couldn't find the words to get this across to anyone who doesn't have MS anyhow... and venting, at least for me, is internal.

Listening or reading others here at MSW makes me feel I'm not alone, but at my current stage, I have nothing to add that hasn't been said. Keep that "happy person" you mentioned going, and if venting helps... Vent!

"I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work and my God." —Hellen Keller

Jer

[Thomas Jackson]

Thanks for talking for all of us QF. We need you. We need to hear what most of us want to say.

[valeriem2220]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I feel it almost daily. I just want to talk, I want people to know how I am doing, maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I just feel I need to get it out. I don't want sympathy, but I do want people to understand and hear me, on my good days and my bad days.
I am growing so much as a person since my diagnosis also and would love to tell people about that also, but no one to talk to.

I am a single Mom and have my children, but don't want to scare them. My 13 year old daughter has decided to write a report about MS for school because she gets so many questions about it and she doesn't even understand it much, because I haven't sat down and talked with her about it, didn't know if she was old enough. I feel with her wanting to write this report and wanting to become more educated, she is old enough and ready to learn. I also see it as a way for me to get to talk, so I am excited about helping her with this.

I also have noticed I have pulled away from many many people since my diagnosis also. I am pretty much alone now because of this and I don't yet understand the full reason why I have done it. Some of them I have pulled away from because they are simply negative people and I don't want that in my life anymore, some are simply mean people and I don't like mean people, but some of the others, the ones I like, I just don't know yet. Maybe so as not to burden them with my "need" to talk....

[quotefanatic]

Thanks for all the support!

And it's very difficult, because I want to talk to the people around me, but I don't really think they want to listen..

Sometimes, I simply don't want to say anything because I don't want to worry them..

I like the whack a mole analogy by the way And for all the people pulling away, stop... because the last thing any of us need - is to actually be alone.

Trust me, I've been there too.. But I feel it's better to have a friend who will chat and make me laugh (and not want to talk about my health), rather than to have no friend at all..

Also, to the mother, you should certainly talk to your daughter about it She may not understand it completely, but who does..?

Thanks again for all the support and best wishes to you all!!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning to dance in the rain."