Sorry, I should have started a new thread.

[Thinkimjob]

Hello, don't mind me. I'm in an advanced state of misery at the moment.
Most of it has nothing to do with MS, except because of MS, all my choices are gone.

My parents are about to move to the town where I live. Two blocks away. She's all right, he's a total nonstop, whingeing, alcoholic, hypochondriac.

I've made a life for myself, and I kind of like it. And now they're about to take over, and I'm not physically fit enough to stop them

They expect me to go and live with them, me doing the looking after until I can't manage, then "We'll hire a nurse for all of us."

I'm going to have to get married, which I suppose is the one choice I have left.

I can't move to another town. I can't get another job. I can hardly walk. I am trapped like a rat.
I don't feel like I can stand it.

Should have started a new thread. Sorry, started typing; don't know how to cut and paste.

[hunterd]

I moved your thread as you wanted.

[there]

That certainly is a most unpleasant situation to be in. 'No, I can barely manage by myself' comes to mind. You are an adult, you did not ask to come into the world and I assume you did not ask to get MS. Your parents are not your responsibility as you were theirs. We all would like to be able to take care of our parents, but generally not totally at the expense of our own lives.

Living with your parents should be a choice and is not benefiting anybody if it is going to make your life hell.

The way I look at MS is that I got short changed and I protect the few things in life that make it a little nicer often at the expense of what somebody would like me to do that I can do, but will leave me exhausted, exposed to no toilets with a neurogenic bladder, pain from doing something I really cannot do anymore, but will attemp to in the moment because it is expected etc. When I feel I am being is selfish or having to explain it I remind myself and let people know that it is either suicide preventive maintenance or preventing stress induces MS progression.

[Thinkimjob]

Thank you.

[BigA]

Job,

I'd love to give you some nice advice, but I don't know where to start. You have a job, you like where you live and your parents are alive and want to take care of you...

That said, the vision of you all becoming helpless and a nurse coming in each day to take care of you as you shout and blame each other for losing the remote is a depressing picture.

but does it have to go that way? Do you need to live with them? I can imagine your mother is making this happen and it's her way of taking care of you, which is nice. But that said, you're allowed to say that you're so happy they're moving nearby, but that you're a grown man and unless and until you're helpless, you want to keep your independence. No one would argue with that. In fact, you don't ever have to move in with them, but it's nice to go there for dinner, isn't it?

[dpmich]

Talk to your parents. Tell your Mom that you will NOT be moving in with them. You don't have the capability to care for them, nor do you want them to have to be able to take care of you. Then have her call for some in home care by a med professional. I am sure you have something like that available.

Maybe that will help calm down you Mom. I don't envy you that conversation I must admit. Best of luck to you Thinkimjob.

Debbie