update on 'Husband is Terminal'

[DancingOnTheEdge13]

I want to thank everyone again for reading and replying to my last post.

It has been an extremely hard last couple of weeks. Emotions from one extreme to another. Friends have been wonderful. God has carried me and I feel his comforting care. I know things could be so much worse. I get moments where I cry, and I am so sad, but I wouldn't call it dispare or desperate. All I can say is God is taking care of me and showing me that I can take care of myself as well as my daughter. He is carrying me, thats the only way I can describe it.

The dr has called in hospice to handle his pallative chemo. I will find out tomorrow if hospice will help. He is going to probably go to a nursing home if the social worker can find one to accept. (or willing to take on the responsibility of the chemo) I am hoping he can be in a nursing home close to home. The hospital he is in is about a 45 or 50 minute drive and I am having to depend on others to carry me so I only see him every other day.

The lady from hospice agrees that he can't come home because of the condition of our trailer. We live on the property of his job, (a small airport) I have the forms to get on to a waiting list for govt. housing and will be turning it in tomorrow morning

[kelm10]

good luck

This is not easy, and I am glad that you are finding comfort in God's hands.

[DancingOnTheEdge13]

I hit the post button accidently before I finished

Once we get moved, I am hoping Randy can come home to finish his chemo. I would like his last days to be at home so we can be with him. If a nursing home can take him, I will be thankful for that as well. I was with my sister when she died and one of my uncles too. Both from cancer. But with hubby, it's different. I want him to be surrounded by love when he passes.

This has been so hard on him, that he is not sure if he wants to do any more chemo. I have told him that I will understand what ever he chooses and will honor his wishes.

I have been so angry for the financial mess he has left us in. The gambling and putting the VFW ahead of us. I think I have gotten past that for the most part. I am trying to look at it as an illness. I forgive him, I have to. I can't put my energy into anger and resentment. I haven't wanted anything to do with the VFW in the past. But, the people there are his friends and he loved them. So I try to keep them up to date on whats going on and have been thankful for the help they have offered. They are going to help our 16 yr old, Shelby, get her drivers license. I think it is time to let go of any bad feelings and be gracious at this point.

I mentioned in my other post that his boss' wife, Barbara, is helping me manage my finances. I now have a checking account. She is teaching me how to handle the bill paying. Right now I know where every dime is and where it is going. First time in years! So there is peace of mind.

Shelby and I are getting thru Christmas. I didn't realize that Saturday is Christmas eve. It's not a 'not doing Christmas because we are depressed' but more of a 'just getting thru the day right now', type of thing. Next Christmas we will have a tree and celebrate.

I wish there were some place like MSWorld for cancer. I am sure there is. I found one cancer forum but its not like this. The support given here is great.

Thanks for reading

Patience

[KatieDidNOT]

Amen...

I want him to be surrounded by love when he passes.

Patience-You are a strong, wonderful, competent and loving woman. I wish your family the best this Holiday Season and will pray for you.

Katie

[jessiesmom]

Place like MSWorld for Cancer

Hi Patience,

There is a place like MSWorld for cancer . It is the Cancer Survivors Network. Go to www.csn.cancer.org. There it is divided up into forums specific to many different types of cancer. I have been part of the breast cancer forum for about two years and know people who participate in the colon cancer board. It is a wonderful place to get information, support and to vent. Please take a look.

[LisaDG]

I got cold chills reading your posts. It is amazing how God carries us through these things. Your compassion and love for your husband is inspiring and a great example of God's love for us. Your daughter is so very blessed to have a mother who is so loving. The help you are getting from your boss's wife and those around you is awesome! Bless them.

One day at a time... it's all God gives us. I will continue to pray for comfort, peace and guidance for all of you. Thank you for the update.

{Hugs}

[Skinny]

Hugs


Sounds like in someways your life is getting better and yet in some ways it's jus sad because the loss of a spouse I couldn't imagine.

God please give our wonderful friend here the courage, strength and guidance she needs from you right now. Always let her know she isn't alone God that you have her hand and even when needed will carry her though very hard time.
Amen...


Life is 10% what is given to us and 90% is what we make of it. Remember this... I hope it brings you the courage you need to get though this. I wish I lived closer to you Hun and I could somehow help you in some way.

[owlnona]

I'm so sorry you're going thru this.
I lost my husband to Parkinsons 5yrs. ago You & your family are in my prayers.
God Bless you Nona Judy

[mjan]

I admire your attitude..its positive yet real. Glad you are being blessed with others to help as well.

MS ended my career and my last job was in hospice as a social worker. I also suddenly lost my hubby with lots of unfinished business and issues with his family.. NOT a fun time let me tell you.

So if you ever want to talk privately, you can find my email address in my profile, ok hon?

Hugs..and many more blessings~ Jan

[tkrik]

I am so proud of you for taking matters in to your own hands, accepting help when it is offered, and being so positive. What an inspirational woman you are!

I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.