No reason to ever be happy anymore

[kbloom2]

I have come to realize that I will never be happy. I try and I get knocked down.

I cant decorate the tree, ask my son to steam the lights and the tinsel and he is get angry and me because I am asking if he can fix the tinsel. Nope I get yelled at say "WHY DONT YOU DO IT THEN" knowing full well if I could I would...

I hate the christmas season now, I useed to love this time or year, but nope not anymore.. all I wanted was the have the lights up and the tinsel so when my little one came home she can decorate the tree with ornaments, but nope my son is yelling at because I am " dictating"

I just have given up on happiness
merry freakin christmas

[moom9335]

KBloom2

I feel your pain and sadness.
Everyone always says to stay positive, have gratitude etc.
It is too hard when the very simplest things in life, those that give you the most pleasure, are now out of reach.
As a Mom whose adult son has progressive MS, I get it.
He is bitter and unhappy for all that he has lost and is losing. Me too.
Who can blame him? All I can say, is what I tell him.....when you have kids, you need to let them in on what is happening to you, and try and take joy from them.
If they do not give you respect, perhaps they need counseling. They are probably angry with what has happened to their parent.
There is no easy answer, just take each day and find one good thing in it. Life has no fairness or guarantees. MS has too much control...but don't let it be who you are.
I know, easy for me to say...
Wishing you some joy......and understanding.

[SNOOPY]

Hi kbloom,

I don't know how old your son is, but regardless of age he is living in your home under your rules. You deserve respect and he needs to do ask you have asked, to help with Christmas decorating.

Take your home back and let him know what you expect from him.

[owlnona]

I agree w/ Snoopy, It's your home & he has NO right to speak to you like that.Remind him Santa can still put him on the Naughty list!
But truly NO child, young or adult has any right to speak to you like that. One time my DD sassed me when she was about 14, I picked her up & thru her on the couch,I told her if she ever talked to me like that again it would be thru the wall! Today my children are 35,37 & 40, they have never sassed me after that day!
God Bless Nona Judy

[Hawkgirl]

Your son *yelled* at you? How old is he? Still small enough to take over your knee? Still living under your roof for free? Because that can change, kid. Receiving an allowance? Because that can change, kid. Using *my* electricity and *my* television and *my* game console that *I* bought? Because that can change, kid.

I'm sorry you're having a rough holiday season kbloom2. Having MS along with the stress this time of year is really hard. But your happiness and your kids' happiness won't come from a Christmas tree. You need to get in your son's face and let him in on your problems. And how they are his problems, too, and you will have to work on them *together.*

Well, I'm sure you didn't want a lecture. You need a big warm fuzzy (((HUG)))! Hang on until tomorrow and things will be better. Give your little one some kisses and you will feel better. Smack your son upside the head and you'll feel a LOT better!

[Windwalker]

kbloom...oh no,

I understand having adult children that act disrespectful. Maybe the one poster was right, they are mad at what has happened to us. I don't know but I'm thinking the advice given so far has not been very helpful.

Try and shake it off...remember what Christmas is all about, the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ...not tree's, presents and the like. Yes, we do it for our children, especially the young ones. I'm sure they would be horrified to know how you feel. Be strong and put on a happy face...if even just for the Holiday. Pray hard...that's been helping me.

I hated seeing your name on that depressing title for your post. Never think that happiness is unattainable. That's something in your control...maybe one of the few things.

[1936siol]

Happiness

kbloom happiness is very much what we make of it. I have had MS for over 40 years. I have all the symptoms that folks talk about on here. I walk with a walker. I am losing my ability to speak and swallow and breathing is difficult because of MS but I can still function. Not like others do but function none the less. Still I rarely think about what MS has done to me.

I know it is more difficult for those who have not had it so long and dreaming about what the future will be like. I learned a long time ago that the chances of it improving were slim and I would have to accept it or be miserable. I can't make others miserable because I am I rarely think about it except when I'm with others who have it. I am happy, I have many friends whom I dearly love, I meet many folks who feel that I put on a good show and think MS isn't so bad but the heck with them.

I'm going to be me and not let MS get me down. I know to many folks that have been destroyed by MS. That is not going to be me. Children often resent parents being sick. Often they feel it is their fault. You have to try to make them understand.

Lois

[maitrimama]

Kbloom - More than anything I hear loud and clear that you are not happy and I know how you feel, it is somehow different than being sad.

[kbloom2]

Thank you all for your responses. I refuse to all Ms to define me. I am just hate being under the same roof as my son. He is 17 and thinks he can talk to me this way.

Before I got sick he never thought to do the things to me now why because I was walking, now I am in a wheelchair he thinks he can do this to me.

Windwalker thank you, I know the christmas isnt about the decoratins its about our lord Jesus being born. I just love seeing my little one getting excited and seeing her smiles and the twinkle in her eye. I have been told I am a nasty person and am miserable when in fact I really am not I just am tired of being treated like a second wheel in my house.

I will try to look to smiling and be happy tomorrow which is a new day..
Thank you all

[kingrex]

kbloom happiness is very much what we make of it. I have had MS for over 40 years. I have all the symptoms that folks talk about on here. I walk with a walker. I am losing my ability to speak and swallow and breathing is difficult because of MS but I can still function. Not like others do but function none the less. Still I rarely think about what MS has done to me.

I know it is more difficult for those who have not had it so long and dreaming about what the future will be like. I learned a long time ago that the chances of it improving were slim and I would have to accept it or be miserable. I can't make others miserable because I am I rarely think about it except when I'm with others who have it. I am happy, I have many friends whom I dearly love, I meet many folks who feel that I put on a good show and think MS isn't so bad but the heck with them.

I'm going to be me and not let MS get me down. I know to many folks that have been destroyed by MS. That is not going to be me. Children often resent parents being sick. Often they feel it is their fault. You have to try to make them understand.

Lois

Well said, Lois. It's pretty important to maintain perspective in life, even (and maybe especially) in the face of adversity. Aging is a little like a disease...it robs us of our physical well-being and, through time, it steals our dreams. As I age and my aches and pains become more intense and virtually constant, I find that managing my expectations is important if I am to stay happy. I've learned to appreciate and find meaning in simple pleasures.


rex

[CasinoKathy]

Hi kbloom, just want to say I understand your frustrations. MS is not an easy disease for sure, for us that have it and for others who share our lives. Hopefully things get better for you and your son comes to realize how hurtful he has been, and makes a turn-a-round. Good luck to you both.

[zone45]

No reason to ever be happy anymore

there's always a reason to be happy, as long as we are still alive you can never run off of reasons to be happy, stay positive!

[kebsa]

HI Kbloom, I am sorry your son has disrespected you in this way and i certainly understand how it has made you sad because of the desire to see your little ones happy face- it is those little things about christmas that are so enjoyable- i am sure you will still see that smile on your little ones face but it will just pop up at a different time.

As for your son, i agree with the others who have said that he has no right to speak to you that way in your own home regardless of his age or the circumstance. You may be correct that he is acting more angry towards you because you are in the chair but i would like to suggest that if you spoke to the parents of many 17yr olds, they too would be able to recount similar episodes of bad temper, rudness and general lack of respect, usually relating to a parent making some simple request such as yours- 17yrs olds can be difficult to deal with regardless of whether you have MS or not, infact i would go as far as to say that there is often a period of such utter lack of consideration for anyone other than themselves, he actual sounds quite normal- not that that makes it any more easy to deal with. The one good thing about my theory is that it is usually only a stage and sooner or later he should start to consider the feelings of others around him and become more human again.
I think those late teens, they just think that they are too old to be told what to do anymore and just want to do things their own way, it takes a while and some more maturity before they realize that we always have to do things that others ask of us, its part of being a member of a community or family- one day when he has teenagers of his own, he will feel what its like to have your child back chat like this and maybe with any luck he will remember events like this and how he may have made you feel

keep your chin up

[jojo18]

sorry you are having a rough holiday season.

while i consider myself lucky in that my disease hasn't taken too much away from me, it is hard being 21 and tired most of the time.

yes i can't do everything my friends/peers can. or in the same amount of time (i get extended time on tests, ect.) i look at it this way

say the average person can do 1,000 things, and MS has taken 100 things from me. i have a choice. i can focus on those 100 things. or the 900 things i can still do, because 900 is still alot

[Lexie]

Just remember tomorrow is another day. After I am in bed all day for a day I just think about tomorrow> It's hard very very hard. May God put an angel on your shoulder for the holidays!