Pain and depression, kind words of support

[Angiee]

I don't even feel ike getting up out of bed lately. I am so depressed, and tired, and I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't return phone call's or check my emails anymore. I leave the house only to go to the Dr.'s. I hurt all over, my neck, shoulders hurt, my stomach hurts because of my Rebif shot's. even my elbow's, my knee's are KILLING me, I keep getting like contractions in them and then there are my feet, the arches hurt and my heals kill me.
I just lay in bed and wonder why the hell should I even bother getting up? It's so cold out, it snowed today. YUCK! I went to my family Dr. yesterday he put me on Amitripytylin 25mg. I took it b4 bed last night, and I closed my eyes because it gave me a horrible headach, (anyone else take this and have one?(feedback appriciated on this med.)

I admit this has been a crappy year for me, my father passed away, then I was dx'd with MS (finially), in October my car got totaled by a teen driver texting on her cell phone and went off the side of the road and hit my car, I was dropping my son off at a birthday party and had my car parked on the street, and because it was facing UP the street instead of DOWN the street no tickets were issued, my car was totaled. THEN the next week my boss "let me go". Her reason?? she decided to go with an in home health agency for long term issues".

So yeah its been a pretty ****** year for me. I forgot to mention my husband and I are divorcing, oh and he is laid off too..so money is super tight. Believe me I could go on and on, but I'll save the rest for my diary. I'm just disgusted with life.

Do any of you have super bad pain..like I do? pain so bad that you hate the thought of even walking to get a drink...or so depressed that you don't care what day it is anymore? I'm not having a pitty party, I just think I'm loosing my mind. Someone out there has a voo doo doll of me and keep's sticking pin's in it or sompthing?!


-Sigh-
Angie

[mjan]

First of all, I am sooo sorry for ALL you are struggling with..geez.. enough eh?

It breaks my heart what you are dealing with..but glad you thought to come on here for help and support.

This is just MY opinion, but could it be the Rebif that you are reacting to? Some just cannot take interferons..just wondering..

Hugs my dear.. gentle hugs that you know you are truly not alone, you have us. And Amitriptaline sp..is an old antidepressant.. there are much better ones. But it now its given to help with sleep. Does it?

Jan

[chalknpens]

Oh my gosh, you have a lot on your plate. I agree with Jan, the DMD may be contributing to your depression.

I've read a helpful book recently: How to Be Sick, by Toni Bernard. She is a retired-by-illness law professor who offers good ideas for helping yourself deal with chronic illnesses. Hers is chronic fatigue syndrome, and ours is MS. Both have depression and fatigue as secondary (or sometimes primary) issues.

She writes of Buddhist practices, but anyone can benefit, whether they follow Buddhism philosophy or not.

One big recommendation she makes is that we have compassion for our bodies ... for ourselves ... given all that we face each day, in addition to all that life offers.

Be good to yourself. She suggests stroking your arm and praising your body for doing its best in difficult times.

I got the book on my Kindle at Amazon. You don't have to have a kindle: you can download a free kindle reader for your computer at Amazon, and then you can get kindle books, sometimes for free.

Sending positive thought and prayers for you.

[justacowgirl]

You are not alone. There are people out there to help and people here to care. Find someone you can talk to and share with...pastor, counselor, friend.

You can find a way to beat this.

j

[Seasha]

Sending (((big hugs))) your way, Angiee. I agree with others when they mention the depression that goes along with taking an interferon. I know, because I went thru the same thing years ago and someone pointed out to me that it might be the curprit (& sure enough, it was!)

I also agree with chalknpens about the book "How to be Sick" I loved it and bought myself a copy. It won't change the fact that you have gone through a *****year, but might help you gain a new perception about stuff that happens to all of us at one time or another.

I'm sorry you have had such a horrific year, but glad you put in a lifeline here at MSW. We are here for you!!! Try to keep your chin up....I know it's not easy, but you are not alone!!!

[Thinkimjob]

Right, that really sucks big time, doesn't it.
I'd imagine you'd be justifiably depressed, with or without dmds.
You're not going mad. You're scoring about a 160 on the chart of "stressful life" incidents. (Divorce is a 40, diagnosis with lovely diseases like MS is a 40, losing your job another 40, etc). Stress can obviously lead to depression, too.
And your father died.
Life can be a real b***ard. Let yourself have time to grieve for all the things you've lost.
Short-term, there's valium (anti-anxiety), music, books, animals and movies.
I don't use anti-depressants, because I figure I've got good reason to feel depressed, but they work for some people.
It will get better than it is right now. It did for me, and I was truly miserable for a long time.
Best wishes.

[mjan]

I just wanted to make sure you all understand my opinion that was interferons can cause the pain symptoms you are having.
AND possibly add to depression. You have situational depression and possibly clinical.

Jan

[CasinoKathy]

Hi Angiee, I'm glad that you came here to talk! With all that you have been going thru it's no wonder you feel depressed and sad.

Not sure what advice I can add, as I agree with the others here. This wonderful disease can cause depression, as well as some of the meds we take to help with its symptoms. Not fair for sure!!

No, I don't have pain with my ms. Just on occasion alittle in my feet or left calf. I'm glad that neither you or your son were in your car when it was hit.

It has been a H--- of a year for you, it has got to get better next year. Within the last week here (I think) someone started a thread about quotes. If you have time I think you might find some helpful sayings there. I think it was under General Discussions. (hope I'm right on that).

Sending good thoughts your way and I know how hard it is to be positive - especially with all that has happened to you this year, but there has got to be a light at the end of the tunnel. And I hope it comes your way soon! HUGS Casino

[Thinkimjob]

You're quite right, mjan. I was depressed on Beta, and I've no doubt it was the main cause. I was quite perky in those days.

[billiejeane]

I don't even feel ike getting up out of bed lately. I am so depressed, and tired, and I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't return phone call's or check my emails anymore. I leave the house only to go to the Dr.'s. I hurt all over, my neck, shoulders hurt, my stomach hurts because of my Rebif shot's. even my elbow's, my knee's are KILLING me, I keep getting like contractions in them and then there are my feet, the arches hurt and my heals kill me.
I just lay in bed and wonder why the hell should I even bother getting up? It's so cold out, it snowed today. YUCK! I went to my family Dr. yesterday he put me on Amitripytylin 25mg. I took it b4 bed last night, and I closed my eyes because it gave me a horrible headach, (anyone else take this and have one?(feedback appriciated on this med.)

I admit this has been a crappy year for me, my father passed away, then I was dx'd with MS (finially), in October my car got totaled by a teen driver texting on her cell phone and went off the side of the road and hit my car, I was dropping my son off at a birthday party and had my car parked on the street, and because it was facing UP the street instead of DOWN the street no tickets were issued, my car was totaled. THEN the next week my boss "let me go". Her reason?? she decided to go with an in home health agency for long term issues".

So yeah its been a pretty ****** year for me. I forgot to mention my husband and I are divorcing, oh and he is laid off too..so money is super tight. Believe me I could go on and on, but I'll save the rest for my diary. I'm just disgusted with life.

Do any of you have super bad pain..like I do? pain so bad that you hate the thought of even walking to get a drink...or so depressed that you don't care what day it is anymore? I'm not having a pitty party, I just think I'm loosing my mind. Someone out there has a voo doo doll of me and keep's sticking pin's in it or sompthing?!


-Sigh-
Angie

Angieeeeeeeeeee,our we twins? I daily ask if someone has a voodoo doll of me so I started the native american tradition of smudging. It aint working. I was dx,my mother died 2 months later,2 months to the day of my dx and 3 weeks to the day after her dx of mulitple myeloma. Than I had a miscarriage 6 months after she died(didnt know I was pg,but no,not like on the TLC show) The October after mom died my job went to computer charting(homehealth nurse here) I had 160 hours of pto time,I work m-thursday,the computer was logging my fridays off as pto time,I was still whirling from mom's sudden death and dx,so,i never got to take the time off I needed,it's 2 years later. Well,umm,it's not better,but I think it may have BEEN better had I stopped and took care of me. But I couldnt and still cant. I am engaged,he pays rent,etc....but ive got doc bills,car payment,you know the story. Angiee,I even went to New Orleans to sprinkle some of my mom's ashes and visit marie laveau(sp)? grave(she is some way back when voodoo queen) and I pleaded with the ***** to get rid of this curse! Angiee,you are not alone. If you can afford to not work rite now,don't. Email me anytime,we can chat on the phone. You are not alone sister.

[kif8skip]

I have no wise words but wanted to send you some calm and positive thoughts and wishes....

I hope you find some answers and relief from your pain