We've been trying to make this marriage work for over a year now and it's getting no where. My hb was diagnosed over 8 years ago now and has never delt with it. Now the depression is worse than I've ever seen him. He's gone to stay with a friend because he just can't stand to be around the kids and I. Says he's too aggitated to be here. Went to the dr. today and they've increased his anti-depressent, put him on an anti-anxiety, given him narcotics for when the pain is really bad, refilled his regular pain meds, sleeping pills, pills to keep him awake, it doesn't seem to end.
I'm starting to wonder if the dr. has a clue what he's doing. Then on top of that he's adding beer on top of all of it. He's so depressed and so anxious that he can't stand to be around the kids and I, but yet he takes an anti anxiety pill and goes to the bar with friends. I am soooooo tired of this whole thing. He is not the same person I married. There is a huge change in his personality! He has turned into a cold, mean, hateful person. Not sure he can get much lower at this point, think he may be getting close to rock bottom, although I would have thought that would have come after his extra marital activities came to light, but there is always an excuse for that.
Everything goes back to he's so unhappy, says he is doesn't care whether he lives or dies. Would never hurt himself, but just doesn't care about anything or anyone anymore. I don't have a clue how to help him or if I even can. He has pushed me away completely and more often than not I think he'd just rather be alone, but he's too afraid to say it. He's not nice to me or the kids the majority of the time. I have an appointment with my fourth attorney now, as I seem to find something wrong with each one to avoid having to actually go through with anything.
We've done the couples counseling, he swears the counselor was on my side and didn't see any of his points, we are now in individual counseling. Mine says I'll know when it's time to pull the plug, but she can't believe I haven't done it yet. Keeps encouraging me to have an attorney ready as he's so volatile and unpredictable I have no idea what he would do if I did tell him I want out. He's actually made jokes about letting our 2 year old drown in the pool, refers to our oldest (who's also seeing a counselor for anxiety at 7) as a "pussy" not in front of our son of course, but still who says that about their child.
When I ask what his counselor had to say, he'll say "he told me to cut your brake lines" Just has no sense of what's really funny and what's hurtful. I can't figure him out and I'm tired of trying. Has anyone else seen a huge change in personality in a spouse with MS? How do you deal with it? I feel so guilty for wanting out. We've been together since high school and I can't imagine life without him, but I certainly don't look forward to life with him the way he is now.
I'm just so frustrated, wish I could figure out how to help him, how to make it easier or better for him. I don't know how or if he's ever going to figure out how to live with his MS and realize all the good things he has in his life.
**Post broken into paragraphs by Moderator for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print.**
I'm starting to wonder if the dr. has a clue what he's doing. Then on top of that he's adding beer on top of all of it. He's so depressed and so anxious that he can't stand to be around the kids and I, but yet he takes an anti anxiety pill and goes to the bar with friends. I am soooooo tired of this whole thing. He is not the same person I married. There is a huge change in his personality! He has turned into a cold, mean, hateful person. Not sure he can get much lower at this point, think he may be getting close to rock bottom, although I would have thought that would have come after his extra marital activities came to light, but there is always an excuse for that.
Everything goes back to he's so unhappy, says he is doesn't care whether he lives or dies. Would never hurt himself, but just doesn't care about anything or anyone anymore. I don't have a clue how to help him or if I even can. He has pushed me away completely and more often than not I think he'd just rather be alone, but he's too afraid to say it. He's not nice to me or the kids the majority of the time. I have an appointment with my fourth attorney now, as I seem to find something wrong with each one to avoid having to actually go through with anything.
We've done the couples counseling, he swears the counselor was on my side and didn't see any of his points, we are now in individual counseling. Mine says I'll know when it's time to pull the plug, but she can't believe I haven't done it yet. Keeps encouraging me to have an attorney ready as he's so volatile and unpredictable I have no idea what he would do if I did tell him I want out. He's actually made jokes about letting our 2 year old drown in the pool, refers to our oldest (who's also seeing a counselor for anxiety at 7) as a "pussy" not in front of our son of course, but still who says that about their child.
When I ask what his counselor had to say, he'll say "he told me to cut your brake lines" Just has no sense of what's really funny and what's hurtful. I can't figure him out and I'm tired of trying. Has anyone else seen a huge change in personality in a spouse with MS? How do you deal with it? I feel so guilty for wanting out. We've been together since high school and I can't imagine life without him, but I certainly don't look forward to life with him the way he is now.
I'm just so frustrated, wish I could figure out how to help him, how to make it easier or better for him. I don't know how or if he's ever going to figure out how to live with his MS and realize all the good things he has in his life.
**Post broken into paragraphs by Moderator for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print.**
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