Tired and overwhelmed

I am sorry if I sound as if I am whining. I take care of my elderly Mom 24/7. She is very confused, angry with me most of the time, and has many health issues such as blood clots in both legs. I try to juggle both our appointments, and finally had to get hospice home care involved as she stopped eating and was losing weight. I have no family, so it is her and I all the time. They are trying to get respite care for a few days so I can rest, but she has so many doctor appts. I don't know if that is possible. Sorry, since I am locked out of chat, I just needed to vent. Thanks.

[Krysalus]

that's quite a bit of stress

Hi Wendy

I hope they can get you some help! You certainly sound like you need it.

I hope that your mom feels better soon.

Vent away. I'd be screaming by now.

[leahchris]

Scream anytime you need to

Feel free to scream any time you need to. We all have our screaming days and I have discovered these forums to be my best outlet when I need to vent.

You are to be commended for you commitment to your mom. However, you are important, too. Push for the respite care, and move your mom's appointments if you have to. I have a friend going through a similar situation, and those few hours she gets away are her sanity. Take care of yourself, or you will be no good to her. I know you know this, but sometimes I think it helps to hear it from someone else.

Hang in there. You are not alone, even if you feel like it. We are hear for you.

[LisMG]

Wendy,

Bless your heart!!! I can only imagine how exhausted you must be.

Try to grab a minute here and a minute there to take a breath for yourself if you can.

Vent whenever you need - I do the same thing!

Lisa

[Sir-Voor]

Hi Wendy,


Being a care giver is extremely hard and the stress can literally take years off your life, and double that counting the time you’re losing now.

I know it uncomfortable and makes a person feel awful, but there are limits as to what you can do and stay healthy enough to do her any good.
So please don’t let emotions keep you from considering assisted live, home health care or a nursing home.


Sometimes all you can do is to pray for god's mercy and show your trust in him by putting it in his hands.

[SpringOwl]

Share the care.

No one should be the sole caregiver of a sick or elderly person. It is too easy to burn out. Here is a link to a book on sharing the care. Care does not need to cost money. Maybe neighbors, friends, family, church members. If they all just did one or two things for you, it would be easier on you, your Mom would see different people, and you would not over-burden the "helpers".

This is a good book and has many helpful solutions.

http://www.amazon.com/Share-Care-Org...2103629&sr=1-1

[Lendi]

Aww, you sure have a lot to deal with between being a care giver and having health issues of your own. I sure hope something works out for you as you need to be able to take time for yourself.

[Thinkimjob]

Get some help

You have all my sympathy. I was the only female available in the family when my dad's parents both needed care. Grandfather was a lovely man. Very easy and cooperative about getting outside help. Nana, on the other hand, was a nightmare.
She had dementia, but none of the rest of the family wanted to believe it. And after Grandfather died, she took to whiskey like the proverbial fish.
She hated having outside help. I'd organize carers to do some cooking or cleaning, and she'd ring up and get tell them not to come, as "they weren't needed". She was convinced she had every illness on earth, and she could not be convinced otherwise.
I remember the doctor telling her, after another 'heart attack' that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her heart."Oh don't tell me I've got cancer," was her instant reply.
Poor old thing wound up in a nursing home, and died last year. It was such a relief, God forgive for saying it.
Get help. You cannot look after someone who needs full-time care, whether you've got MS or not.
Good luck.