If you were the healthy one and your spouse had MS would you have stayed?

[ms man]

My wife posed that question to me.

[DianeD]

I've thought about that!~

I hope i would; I think I would, but without prior knowledge of what MS is like ..... Would we understand.

Yes, I believe most people would. Just as you would stay to see a loved one through an illness of any kind.

Some people, perhaps those in troubled relationships or very new marriages, might not.

I hope that even if a person were to leave they would make sure the person they were leaving had some way to sustain theirselves.

Awful thought really. I have a feeling most people would stay.

Diane

[CocoH]

Wow. ABSOLUTELY is my answer and I would hope I'm not the only one with that answer. That is marriage, that is "for better or worse". It may not be fun, but it is life. Having MS is NOT a lifestyle choice, it's a disease!

[spunky68]

Heck Yeah!

[mjan]

Without a doubt. But I am a realist and have learned how many partners/spouses/family members cannot SEE that we are not well..so to them WE mess up THEIR expectations and they often can lack understanding.

So I say they need EDUCATION just as we do.

I took care of my husband who had seizures all his life and one bad long seizure took away his short term memory. Anyway, did not know it but at the time had MS symptoms He could not understand why I was so tired..I just worked and slept and took care of everything else.

Now I have seizures.. and he is deceased. Glad for him that his lifetime struggle is over. He is whole and healed.

He is with me in spirit..guiding me along my path now.

Jan

[EdinAZ]

ABSOLUTELY!

[BigA]

It's too bad it's an interesting question. The old vows were not made to sound really really cool - "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health". They were there from experience

[ms man]

I'd like to think that I would have stayed with my wife if she had MS but I'm a man and men have their needs.We tend to be a bit selfish so it's hard to say.It's a moot point.

[Justsayyes]

Yes, no question!

[Scooterbelle]

Yes, Yes, yes - I would stay without a doubt, and take it on together

My DH was incapacitated for some years with a chronic back condition so I have a little experience of being a carer.

Marriage is for keeps. Abandon someone you love when they are down? No way!

[Valerie0717]

I would me and my husband were only married a little over 4 months when i had my first episode and was hospitalized and stuff. I told him he could leave i would understand if he didnt want to stay with someone who is sick and will be for the rest of my life. But he said no i married you because i love you and we will get thou this. So yeah i would stay with him because what is a marriage without trials and tribulations? We will be married 4 years in june and he has been with me every step of the way. And his job is awesome about it because his boss has a brother in law who also has MS and so he is understanding about what goes on with MS.

[JoanFrances]

Yes

I would just suck it up, as i have anyway. My dh has a bad back and even though I have MS I have had to be the care taker in our marriage. His very first surgery was in the first year of our marriage, that was 20 years ago. He now has rods in his back.

I found out I had ms the month before we were getting married and it didn't scare him away. As it worked out, he is more needy than I am. He is one of those persons who can not deal with pain or discomfort. That doesn't mean that there have been times that I haven't been upset with him because he gives up to easy, but caring should work both ways. What is that old song, "No one promised you a rose garden"

[hunterd]

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!!!

I LOVE MY WIFE AND COULDN`T IMAGINE NOT BEING THERE FOR HER!!! I WAS DX WITH DIABETES 38 YEARS AGO, AND MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE ( I WAS 4 YRS OLD ), SO THAT`S HOW I WAS RAISED.

DAVE

[gomer]

YES..........

And I am a man!

IMnsHO...Real True LOVE is BLIND.

Not every couple marries for LOVE.....for some its only to make a family and/or life, for some its more of a convience, maybe mutual convience..or whatever. In some cases one realy turely love the other person, but the other person my not have the same love or reason.

Expectations are another matter, often a problem with marriage. One person my expect the OTHER to change, not very realistic.

GOMER married since 1973, Limited experience since I'm still on my first marriage

[SNOOPY]

I'm a man and men have their needs.We tend to be a bit selfish so it's hard to say.It's a moot point.

Not all men are selfish.

My answer is yes.

I met my DH when I was 18. He saw me fall many times in the 2 years we were dating (I was considered a klutz). We had been married 5 years when I was dx'd. I told him I would understand if he wanted to leave, he got mad and said he wasn't going anywhere...he never has.

We just recently celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary.

I could do no less for my DH than he has done for me. About 2 years ago my DH had back surgery and I became the one doing everything he would normally do plus taking care of him. Never did I think of leaving him to fend for himself.

If the relationship has a strong foundation then regardless of health problems the marriage can withstand. If the relationship does not have a strong foundation then if a spouse becomes ill the cracks begin to show and the marriage will crumble.

This is not about male or female. It's about love, commitment, communication, caring and trust. It's caring about and loving someone other than yourself.