Advice? However family not MS

[rawksea76]

Ok let me start by saying this in not a MS question. But I have come to trust in the opinion of my Online MS family.

If this gets booted I will understand but wanted to try anyway, so here goes,

I am looking for advice on initiating a meeting with a half sibling who in all likelyhood does not know I exist.

I am 7 yrs older then he is. My mother and his father did not continue a relationship much longer then a few months after she became pregnant with me. She married another man about 3 yrs after my birth and he adopted me about 2 yrs later.

I have only known my bfathers name all these years until a couple months ago when he passed from cancer. To which I found I have a half brother he is married.

My mother passed when I was young and I have no contact with my adoptive father by my choice due to severe abuse until about 4 yrs ago when I made the choice for myself and my family to get the garbage out of our lives.

K so I am looking for opinions on the situation. As my view is that life is so short do I initiate contact I am certain he doesnt know about me. Or let dead dogs lie?

I know his mother is still alive (wont get into the whole thing) But her and my bfather had long since divorced.

My mother and his/our father is gone. My husband says WRONG WRONG WRONG>>>Don't do it.
Myself, I have learned alot in my short time so far and think that anyone that would be terribly hurt are no longer with us and I would not be out anything if he had no interest.
concern, Still the potential to "stir the pot" but don't want to miss a potential opportunity. He lives just 10 min away.


ADVICE?????

[SNOOPY]

Hello rawksea76,

I would say go for it

If he is not aware you exsit then I would recommend having "proof" to show him you are his half sister. It will probably be a shock so give him time to absorb what you are going to tell/show him.

It could be a good or bad experience and it might take time to know which is the case.

I have been where you are 2 times. One time ended up not being a good experience the other, so far, has been amazing.

[wkikta]

I would make contact, it may surprise you how much it would mean to both of you. If it doesn't work, then you leave it and you are no worse off than you are now.

[rawksea76]

THANK YOU

Thank you guys I knew I would get some advice.

You have all echoed what I have ran through my own head. What would it hurt. If I have no expectations as to his acceptance or not then I don't see why not try. As you have all said you never know. I ave also thought maybe he does know but doesn't have my name etc....

Thanks to my loving and helpful MS family!!!!!

[Seasha]

GO FOR IT, rawksea! What do you have to lose?

[rawksea76]

THANK YOU

Thank you all for your encouraging words, and the assurance to make that first contact.

I DID IT!!!!!

Of course I have made contact with no expectations to come I do feel good about doing it. Selfish? Maybe IDK

I decided on a phone call, Internet makes finding address and numbers so easy.

I had already looked on FB he wasn't there. I didn't want to show up at his house as I felt that was an invasion of his space and privacy. I will be honest I considered a letter but I am just too darn impatient to write, mail and wait....

So I called, I felt he could hear a real person and still have the option of hanging up on me if he felt I was looney.

It went better then I expected he didn't hang up and so he has my number if he wants to do anything with it use it burn it who knows.

Time will tell. Not expecting to ever hear from him again. And I am ok with that.

THANK YOU