I don't know what to do....

[skaggs27]

I've been married for 5 years now we have been together 8 yrs, My husband was very support in the beginning, but it was very hard b/c we married in april 2005 and I was dx in july the same year, We do have one child together.... So the reason for this post, B/c of the MS and other things we have been thourgh I do not hv a sex drive for him or maybe anyone else... And he has cheated on me before, so I want to tell him that its ok for him to go somewhere else cause I cant please him like he needs and/r wants....... What Am I suppose to do, Feel so dumb asking that ?

[Windwalker]

I do not hv a sex drive for him or maybe anyone else... And he has cheated on me before, so I want to tell him that its ok for him to go somewhere else cause I cant please him like he needs and/r wants....... What Am I suppose to do, Feel so dumb asking that ?

It's a good question and an honest one.

The statement you make.."or maybe anyone else" makes me think maybe your not attracted to your husband right now...maybe because he did cheat on you.

The 'sex drive' thing could very well just be a phase. I think it's understandable. I would not go the route of letting him go "somewhere else". That's not the type of relationship you want...is it? Remember that you need to be healthy and in a good place to best deal with the MS.

[Leola Stotts]

The best thing is to have an open and honest discussion with your husband. Marriage was meant to be one for another and I am sure he will understand how you are feeling. Also, it could be a temporary symptom. MS makes you crazy some days, full of energy others and just down right crummy most of the times. He needs to know honestly what is going on .

Sending him on, for me, would be wrong according to my marriage vows. Try to remember why you got together. Recreate the romance, even when you feel crummy, just once in awhile. It is a pleasurable experience and needed by both of you.

Trying not to preach at you, but you deserve all of him. See if an open discussion helps. Also, maybe you need to think about different medicines to help with your symptoms.

[skaggs27]

Thanx Ladies, Its so hard to deal with this problem because my husband had some past childhood issues that he will NOT let go..... I think we may end up separating before long.. It is so stressful cant hardly believe Im havent had a major relapse from it all...

Still Standing with God by myside... Take care

[Leola Stotts]

It sounds like your husband needs some help. Maybe some counseling. I know that is hard to hear, but if he has child hood issues that have not been dealt with, he might need to resolve those before he can be a complete functioning man.

I work with a group called VOICEtoday.org. We go around Georgia and other states and give workshops about protecting children and teaching adults to be an active participant in protecting their community and selfs from predators. Interesting stuff. Not saying this is his issue, but from teaching these, I am so much more aware of what goes on within families and communities.

[Toomnyhats]

skaggs, I understand.

I also have none-to-very-little sex drive. (I could never have sex again & be OK with it.) On the other hand my husband's sex drive is still going strong!

(While DH hasn't cheated on me, he was molested as a child & has a boatload of issues from that.)

This cause some serious problems in our marriage. It got bad enough he finally agreed to go to counseling with me. That helped quite a bit b/c the counselor got him to FINALLY acknowledge ("take his head out of the sand") my dx & learn more about my sx.

For me, I believe it is a side effect of my DMD & a sx of the MS.

I recommend counseling, for yourself if DH isn't willing to go with you.