So hard to make friends

[rocky282]

I have completly forgotten how to make friends.

Sooo... since getting around isn't the easiest thing for me and I'm not working, my kids are 4, 3, and 2 years old, so taking them places is almost too much work. How do I make friends???

I know you guys will have some ideas, please share, and if you live in Northern New Hampshire and would like to get together and make friends please let me know. I'm so tired of feeling stupid when I try to talk to people. I actually met a couple with kids that I really wanted to talk to but I couldn't figure out how to start the conversation. lol I felt like I was hitting on them... "Hey, would you guys like to hang out sometime?" such a bad line and so close to a bad pickup line.

Good lord I'm pathetic. Suggestions on how to make friends please.

[Scooter24]

Locate a support group and attend a few meetings, try some volunteer work that you are able to handle, start a hobby and attend a class for it. Have you not had any real freinds in the past? or have you isolated yourself from them now and hide in the "MS Closet" ?

[Windwalker]

"Hey, would you guys like to hang out sometime?"

Try that, you may be surprised at the response.

[Jules A]

I bet if you put it out there other Moms would love to get together for a cup of coffee and/or a play date. Having kids in common is a great starter. Don't sell yourself short!

[kellygrn]

Been thinking about hiring a life coach

I never learned how to make friends. So now I am old, got MS & in a wheelchair! What would I do with a life coach's help? Just thinking out loud!

KK

[RoyaleMSer]

I may not be much help with the kid part but, I can relate quite well with MS. Everyone needs support at some point and I can honestly say that I am here for you. You have my email address so if you need to vent or need support, let me know! I'm hundreds of miles away but a phone call can do wonders when you need to get things off of your chest.

Have a good night!

[heliotrope]

You have kids - that's a great excuse right there. I know my parents often used the "let's take the kids to..." line(especially when there are extra discounts for extra kids). I bet if you think of it as you arranging things for the kids, it won't be so hard.
Is there a local volunteer group you could do once or twice a week, too? Just getting out of the house helps...

[Lendi]

A therapist friend of mine said that people love to talk about themselves. Just ask questions and listen more than you talk. Before you know it people will be seeking you out and you'll be able to have more of a 2 way conversation. I'm incredibly shy, btw so I understand how hard it is to do this but it does really work.

[NeuroNixed Craig]

Hi Rocky,

Making friends is one of the easiest things humans can do, regardless of their circumstances.

How you ask? Simple. Smile at everyone you come in contact. Ask them, "How are you today?" Then follow it up, no matter what they say with, "No, really, how are you?" and just listen. They are as insecure about talking to strangers as you are but, you have the power to change that from stranger to friend.

Yes, the key is people love to talk about themselves and everyone is starving for only two things in life. 1) Acknowledgment and 2) Recognition with appreciation. If you provide those two actions to anybody the results will be amazing.

People don't care about you until they know and understand you care about them. Take the initiative and get out there with other people. Since you have kids you have a great icebreaker. You can go to parks, malls, play areas, school functions, play dates, etc. Just one or two outings a week.

I seem to attract people and I really think it's because I act and say things they wish they could but are too intimidated. So, they come from all over to watch me burn with behavior and attitude in spite of my debilitating circumstances.

Go for it and don't worry about how you come across just come across. If it doesn't work out, you may never see them again in your life anyway. No lose situation.

[rocky282]

THank you Thank you

I am going to take your advice. Prior to the kids, and until the MS, I was super active, helping everyone with everthing, and not afraid to approach anyone. Then I was on Bed rest for 3 months with my first and had problems with the birth, then 4 months for the second and 4 months for the third and since they are only 14 months apart, I spent a great amount of time in lockdown and have forgotten much.

Next came moving 7 times in 2 years with the military and it because a struggle for me to know how to approach people. I made 2 friends who I still talk to in San Antonio while we were there, then another one in El Paso, but by the time I got up here to NH I ran out of steam.

I will take the advice of many of you and just go ahead and be myself and talk to people. If they think I'm a freak and strange well then that is their loss. I do have one good friend up here, and I guess I can count her hubby. Several acquaintences but I have become so accustomed to not being good enough to accomplish what I want to, I guess I just gave up on myself being good enough for much of anything.

Thank you Raegan, I may take you up on that offer, I have nothing against long distance friendship lmbo