Wit's end

[beingmindful]

My DH was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. He is a brilliant man, a sought after professional in our community. We have learned he has had MS for 30years, never knew it. He is always the one who remembered names, places, events. He organized all family outings. He cheered us all up when we were down. He took care of the dog, replaced the light bulbs, supported the family financially and spiritually. Now his mental state (as well as physical) is making it hard for him to do all of these things. He has anxiety, depression, cognitive difficulties, trouble reading maps, all kinds of little things that make life hard. It is so hard on him, and on us. I don't know why I am posting this, and don't expect any answers. I have started to try to learn meditation, I have gotten Kabat-Zinn's tapes. My DH will not engage in psychotherapy, the antidepressant drugs don't work. I am going to try to get him meditating, but I have to get there first. He tried the supplements suggested here, but he said there was no benefit.
Thanks for listening. Sorry to whine.

[SNOOPY]

beingmindful,

If your DH has not spoken to his Neurologist about his increasing cognitive problems then it might be a good idea to start there.

The URL I am providing is about MS and cognitive problems. If you scroll down to the bottom of the URL there are links to related issues about cognitive problems.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/abo...ion/index.aspx

[JudySz]

whining is fine on here. It is so hard.....and sometimes I think it is harder on dh than it is on me..In our family, I did all those things, now I can't and I have mostly accepted it, but it is hard for him to see my mind going away and my cooking, etc.....It is hard for him also cause I used to work for him and now he has lost his secretary and we cannot afford ot hire someone. Such is life and we are both trying to cope. I do not drive far at all cause I sometimes get double vision and I know he is tired of driving my around everywhere after working all day, but he does it without complaint.

No advice or solutions for you, but know you are not alone and come here any time.

JudySz

[Leola Stotts]

YOU ARE HAVING A ROUGH TIME IT SOUNDS LIKE. IT IS HARD TO WATCH OUR LOVED ONES DETERIORATE. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DO NOT SEE IT. HANG IN THERE. CONTINUE TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND BE THERE FOR HIM. THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN THINGS ARE CLEARER FOR HIM AND THEN THERE WILL BE THE "COG FOG" TIMES. ENJOY THE RARE MOMENTS TOGETHER. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOU. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT. CHECK IN TO THIS SITE AND SPEAK WITH US AND VENT ANY TIME YOU NEED.

[nana-anne]

beingmindful, I am sorry for what you and your husband are going through. This has happened in our family but just turned around. (my dh is fine, I'm the one that had to retire early

So my dh and I can truly relate. I know it's hard on you and him both, and wish for you both more good days than bad.

Thank you Snoopy for the link in your reply. I was just reading through some of the posts in the forum and read your reply with the link.

I went to the page and read a couple of the articles related to cognitive problems and really felt set free! It's good to know that I am not alone and I am not abnormal, just a new "normal".

[beingmindful]

Thanks everybody I love these message boards and you are all great to respond, it truly helps. Thanks to Snoopy for the URL. Very helpful and informative.

[poohb3ar]

beingmindful,
just now saw your post. your DH is a lucky man. i'm the one with the MonSter but it affects my whole family. my husband is a workaholic and can't seem to stop or slow down despite his extra burdens because of my going downhill faster everyday. i can't keep the house running smoothly only cook 1x a week and having trouble keeping up with the finances.
all things i used to do, so he could do his job well.

i say all that to congratulate you on being so supportive. it sounds like you DH used to do a lot for the family besides just bringing home the paycheck. i'm sure he's quite frustrated and may even be in denial.
it's sovery hard to admit and give up all those things you used to love to do. he may not tell you, i imagine it's even worse for men.
praying for you. like others have said enjoy the good days thank GOd for them and hang tight during the bad ones. it's the only to survive this roller coaster.
keep trying to help him (not nagging, but gently). he too is a lucky man to have you.
God bless ya'll