Flowers for Algernon, Charly

[Deer In Headlights]

I feel like Charly. For the past three days I have noticed my
comprehension and just thinking is getting worse.

I feel like Charly when he started to write down things to remind him. If I remember to look at the notes, I forget what they mean.

They're right in front of me but I can't figure it out. I feel like I can watch my IQ drop. I wasn't very smart anyway though.

If my work only knew what an idoit I've been lately, they'd fire me. My head can't take this headache. I had a MRI a month ago and I'll meet with the neuro on Monday to go over the results.

My head is not on my shoulders and it hurts to think.

[mjan]

WOW the title of your thread did catch my attention.. I loved that movie..but so sad.

Anyway..inflammation often messes up the brain's functioning (temporarily) in addition there are deficiencies for good nutrition in the brain. I went to this amazing specialized nutritionist who helped a lot.

Dont forget the liver and colon also are filled with toxins which get through all body systems and mess us up.

Hope you improve and soon..hang in there

Warmly, Jan

[Redwings]

Hi Deer:
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a bad time thinking and remembering things.

But as an objective outsider, I also can't help but notice -- and hope that you do, too -- how important and admirable that it is that you actually know who Algenon and Charly are and appreciate what their significance is. There are many on this forum who can't say that.

Please don't lose sight of how valuable that appreciation is. I hope you can find a way to build on that outside of a standard workplace. There are many people who can benefit from your perspective.

[todays child]

Warm hugs to you, Deer,

Oh wow, I loved that book. I agree with Jan, the inflammation can cause temporary effects. I'm glad you have a neuro appointment soon to discuss these things.

There are times I live in fear that everyone will find out just how much of an idiot I really am.... somehow, I manage to continue to snow them. . You're not alone.

[Mamie]

Flowers for Algernon

Hi Deer,

Your post struck me because the first year I went on disability ( now almost a decade ago) I sent an email to friends with the very title "Flowers for Algernon" as I made the the same comparison based on my own failing cognition.

In my youth I was branded as "smart", had a photographic memory, and my fancy intellectual footwork became a kind of expectation and identity.

But, over time, I was reduced to not being able to remember what side of the envelope the stamp went on. When my worok changed location, I kept driving to the old location or would pass it up and keep driving. I would also go out for lunch and not come back any. ( I had forgotten why I left the building)

Like you, I felt at some point I would be exposed. And there was also a profound identity loss for me. Even to this day, friends and family refuse to believe that I do not have the cognitive cabilities I once did, and often unknowinglly produce me added stress by asking me to problem solve or provide advice that is truly way beyond my abilities.


Keeping things as calm and simple as I can is the best environment for my cognition.

it hurts to think.

I hear that. I really do.

I can offer no real succor except to say that somehow it is all surviveable.

Mamie

[journeyman]

Me too but selective.

Hi DeerI fully understand what you are going through. I have lost a lot this past year. Mine seems to be short term and my holding pattern is very short. I will start to say something to my wife. She will say, "What was the first part of what you said?" Boom! It's the whole thought is completely gone.

My grown son is a movie fan. We have watched many movies together. He will walk into the TV room and see me watching a movie and starts laughing. He asks if I enjoying it. I tell him yeah. He says that YOU MUST enjoy it because we watched this one last week. NO memory of it.

He teases me and tells me I could have my own Easter egg hunt. I could hide them and then see if I could find them.
It is so frustrating.

And like you said, "It's only getting worse!

I think I even still have my copy of Flowers for Algernon. Great title. Caught my interest. See I remember that but not if I ask myself if I ate lunch.

Thanks for your post. Very thought provoking although I probably won't remember answering it. Ha.
J. Tampa, Florida
Dave