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**Shandi** · 08-03-2010, 08:41 PM

I am not going to blow smoke...it sucks. Just when you think you have things under control and figure you are done, something knocks the wind out of your sails.

And of course, having my RA (DXed in 95), and my husband has MS (SX began in 2001), we were always tense because having two autoimmune illnesses, it was a time bomb, seemingly, for our son. Son was DXed as a T1Diabetic in 2005. There was a lot of guilt at first.

Realized that I can't be guilty. Everyone is going to have their own obstacles. Apparently, in our family, it is our health! Some people have cancer run through their families, others have autoimmunes, some have generations of diabetes, and others have rampant heart disease. What can you do? You can't stop having kids for that mainly small chance of genetics catching up with them.

Have a friend who was DXed with retinal dystrophy when he was 5. He is now 30. One eye is "legally blind" but he can see out of it; the other eye is doing well and is not far from normal...20/30 I believe.

**MBC3mom** · 08-03-2010, 09:21 PM

Lucidity, I have a permanently cloudy eye from my first (and I hope last) bout of ON. In my late forties at the time, I had always had near perfect vision and the possibilty of going blind scared me more than anything else about the ms diagnosis. I still can't handle thinking that it is a possibility, so I know how scared you must be.

Do other members of your family have this? If so, how have they handled it? I would also want to ask my doctor why they thought I would not go blind. Is there good reason for hope? Otherwise, once you are over the initial shock, would it help to learn as much as possible about the diagnosis and how others have coped with it?

It does help me to learn as much as I can about the scary possibilities I must face. (My dh is just the opposite, so I know this isn't for everyone). But it might help to feel you are as prepared as you can be for whatever lies ahead.

And, I agree with Shandi about the genetics. We all have something we wish we hadn't inherited (even if we don't yet know what that something is), but most of us do not wish we had not been born. There are a few genetic diseases that I would not risk passing on to a child, but I wouldn't worry if I were you about the eye problems or the ms. Love your child and help her grow up to be a happy woman - she will be happy to call you mom, no matter what happens.

**KoKo** · 08-03-2010, 09:22 PM

Hello Lucidity

Sorry to learn that you have another health issue to deal with. MS is quite enough....

Nothing profound to say here - just want to be supportive and let you know that we care about you and what you're going through

Take care,
KoKo

**lucidity** · 08-03-2010, 09:23 PM

Thank you for the response.

Thanks for mentioning the children thing. I do feel guilt. My grandmother had muscular dystrophy and now my mom's looking into it for herself. (I don't even want to pursue looking into that one for me!) My aunt had RA, and now my sister... I guess the medical stuff is what my family has to face.

On the good side, I am so lucky to have my husband and support structre. I feel bad for him, though. He didn't sign on for this.

Thanks for the optimistic note on your friend. I am 31 and have big plans for myself. I can see 20/20 right now (with the glasses I've had for years.) I just started a new career and have all intentions of moving up. We'll see what plans life has for me, though.

**lucidity** · 08-03-2010, 09:24 PM

Thank you, KoKo.

Sometimes kind thoughts are all you need...

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Because having MS isn't enough...

Because having MS isn't enough...

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