I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU

[GayGay]

Sat. my husband and I went to an advertised fundraiser for the Nat. MS Society. It was a yard sale. They had their orange shirts on, 3 of them. Looked around then began talking with one. She was the one with MS. Braces on her legs, one on her hip, one on her wrist, and her speech was impaired. She got up, walked to me, had a huge smile on her face and started speaking to me. I finally told her I had MS also. Her PT was there, she introduced me to her and we all had a nice visit.

They started inviting me to certain things like the next fundraiser that will be by private invitation only and wanted to invite me. All of a sudden it just came out of my mouth! "I don't like to hang around people like us". I thought of how RUDE I was but they were so understanding about the whole thing and understood I didn't want to be reminded of the MS all the time. Its there and I feel it almost 24/7. Well, you know what? They ended up giving me inspiration and I will be seeing them on June 26. I am a happier soul. At least for now. Love, hugs and kisses to all of you. Gail/GayGay

[mjan]

I can understand where you were coming from..but now perhaps we can all learn that we have hidden blessings.
We have been brought together for a reason...

Take care

Warmly, Jan

[MaggieMoon]

Hear Hear! who wants to be reminded at every weekend that we have fund raisers, and walk a thons, and bike a thons, and marathons and ....everywhere you look, its all MS patients, all the time! I too love to just hang out with a mix of sick/well/mental/sane and the like. I sometimes just want to be one in the crowd, instead of the reason for the crowd.

I'm glad they saw it for what it was.

[Steelerfan09]

I agree. This is the reason why I'm not talking to my mother that much right now. Everytime I see her its ms this, ms that! I don't want to be reminded all the dang time that I have this! I love her, but man it was so overbearing....I finally had enough and said I want my mom back and until you quit reminding me everytime I don't have much to say. I know she means well, but you've got to know your limits. So I don't know if this kinda goes with the thread, but its the whole reminder thing. So hopefully I'm not being to harsh.

[ShakespeareMama]

I'm glad the person you were speaking to was so understanding and that they've become an inspiration to you.

Hopefully, you'll enjoy the time with the MS crowd.

It's not so fun being reminded all the time that you're sick but, on the other hand, it's nice to have people nearby that understand you.

It's kinda like hanging out on here.

Have buckets of fun on the 26th!

[Sir-Voor]

Controlled denial is one of my best tools for living with MS. I had not posted and rarely even looked at this forum for years, simply because emotionally draining and a good emotional mind set is important with MS.

By controlled denial I mean I still do my shoots, meds, vitamins and research every so often to stay up to date with what is happening in the MS world. Everyone takes meds and vitamins, and shoot are just part of my morning routine like brushing my teeth, no need do dwell of the fact that it is for MS. Just do it and think about other stuff.

I was DX 9 years ago and I have been to only about 5 MS events, but I never have been a socialite hanging out with a big group of friends. MS support groups are great, just not for everyone, so don’t feel bad if there are not right for you. But I do recommend trying them, even though I have been to only a few I did get a lot out of them.

And don't be so RUDE! (Just Joking)

[hunterd]

I too love to just hang out with a mix of sick/well/mental/sane and the like.

I'm glad they saw it for what it was.

I`M THE SICK ONE, AND SANE. THE OTHERS CAN BE THE REST!!LOL

I`M ACTUALLY JUST THE OPPOSITE, I WOULD RATHER HANG WITH OTHERS WITH MS. AT LEAST THEY UNDERSTAND ANY AND ALL ISSUES.

DAVE

[jamilea]

What a cool little story and that's SO awesome that they were understanding about it. I admire your honesty.

I find more and more I am meeting people so randomly that have MS and now that I'm experiencing it, people from my past are popping up ALL OVER the place telling me they have MS or a family member works for the Society. I'm shocked because I never knew. I'm ticked at myself for never caring enough to really get to know people. What an awful friend I am. I'm really trying to change that. Being sick puts things into perspective for me for some reason. I'm grateful for it. I know that sounds weird but when I wasn't sick, my priorities weren't straight and I definitely had a disillusioned outlook on life so to speak.

Thanks for sharing. I don't know why but this cheered up my day and inspired me

Jami Lea

[DianeD]

Never met another person with MS

Actually I've never met another MS'er in person. I've had lots of great e-mail exchanges and I bet it would be fun to meet in person...

However, as we see here, each person has their own battle with MS. Some have MS, but you would never even know it and some have obvious disability. I think I'd be making comparisons. I'd probably feel bad that I wasn't as good as many or feel bad for those in difficult straits.

I suppose we should all approach this like we would meeting with anyone else. We are a diverse group of people with or without MS.

I donate money when I can and my son has ridden in an MS bike marathon. Someday if the opportunity presented itself and I were up to it I might participate. I take this one day at a time.

More and more I do what feels right for me. It is hard. I just think we must look after ourselves. Call it selfish, but not meant like that.

I found out when caring for my mom and dad that you can wear yourself out and be fairly useless if you don't know when to quit.

Diane

[BigA]

Gay,

I understand. I went to my first meeting and it was shocking to see the wheelchairs, canes and rollators. Really, I was just a few weeks from having recently been "normal" and didn't need to see where I might be going.

Through time, I've learned not to fear them and am also going to my first meeting for newly diagnosed people tonight.

It may also depend if you've told many people. I made a rule (so far) that except for closest friends and relatives, I'm not telling anyone until I meet them in person so I can gage thier reaction - I don't want them to start speaking extra-slowly to me or sending me cure videos. It's also still hard to answer when people who know ask "how are you doing?".

Actually, it's not uncommon. I remember when my grandmother was in a care home. They had segregated dining rooms by level of disability.