Before MS....

[fishead]

Good Evening:
Just pondering things early into the morning......I find one issue the most difficult...NOT WORKING!!!

Prior to being diagnosed with MS,I was a fulltime nurse in a busy ER department.I loved my job,and I loved the feeling that helping people brought to me at the end of each shift........ I have not worked for 5 years now,and still feeling lost???Anyone else?
Candice

Candice
While I do not have children, I am an RN and worked 18 yrs in CCU and 8 in research/teaching. I know what you are saying. Not saying that other jobs give people an identity, but not working has taken my "nursing" aka 75+% of who I am, away from me. I miss it. I too, worked regular overtime, because of my love of the job. Adrenalin junkie, I suppose, but still I miss it so much that it hurts me deep to the core.

[kelm10]

fortunate

I am fortunate (or maybe unfortunate.) I am a nurse, I am just not gainfully employed. And yes I to worked the standard overtime and or two jobs since I have been 19.

Why do we do this to our body. I do not miss work except the debating of a case or standing up for a patient or educating patients.

I am fortunate to work with older adults by teaching water aerobics anywhere from 1-6 hours per week. It gets me with the people to teach them.

I also spend time here and other MS places educating and hooking up other MS patients with things they can use. I am an MS advocate. I am thinking of volunteering talking to elderly at nursing homes. As you can tell I love the elderly.

I also do some review of cases on on medscapecme dot com to stimulate my brain on cases. It keeps me in the loop. It is continuing medical education but I was able to sign up for free and there is good cases on there.

[Stacer]

Hi Candice,
I have not been able to work for 2 years now. I still hold out hope that I can return one day, but the longer I'm away, the less likely that seems. Sorry, no words of wisdom, just know how you feel.

[piper]

Nurses

To the nurses who are not able to work in a hospital or office setting any longer: Have you considered reviewing medical cases for Medicare or private insurance companies?

I work in fraud investigation for the government and we have several nurses who review cases to determine necessity, level of care, etc.

This might let you work in an enviroment more adaptable to your needs.

[JudySz]

Oh how I understand. i just posted about that in my small vent post. I worked for years for dh in his insurance office, very flexible hrs. when kids were little. After they both went off to college, i missed the young uns, so I worked retail. Old Navy was my favorite place. i loved the kids I worked with (still talk to many of them) and the customers were so great. When we had good mgmt., they pretty much let me do my own thing, I wrote lots of credit card accts. for them, so when I had to call for back up cashiers cause i was talking with a customer, they were fine with that. Made so many new friends. I miss the "real talking" every day. I love computer, but it is not the same.

I also do scrapbooking.....thoroughly enjoy it...The expense gets better as you build up stuff and Target has stickers and letters for 99 cents. We also have a BigLots which has cheap stuff. I am building up quit a stash of scrapbook essentials. The grandkids are too funny, they buy me scrapbook stuff for my birthday, so i can make them scrapbooks.

My pictures are already in order, so i am done with that project. it is hard...I am very close with my old neighbor, but in our new house, everyone works all day and it is not the same. i miss doing over there, having a beer at the picnic table.

Suggestions were all good...I hope you come to terms with this.....Just know we are always here to listen to you.

judySz

[Tawanda]

I SO GET IT!

Dear Candice,

I have mixed feelings about your post. I am a woman with 2 college degrees...I used to wear suits to work, bring home a decent paycheck and drive a beautiful white converable with a black top (a head turner as well as a cop-magnet!). I used to have the money to highlight my hair, attend Broadway plays in NY, schedule full body massages on a weekly basis, a membership to an exclusive gym and extravagant vacations once a year was a given!

Now I spend $30 on my entire summer wardrobe (shorts and T's from Ocean City), drive a '94 Lincoln I bought from my Father-In-Law for a dollar (and the windows only work about 1/2 the time!).

When I was diagnosed with M.S., I could no longer work. My husband's midiocre salary allowed us to move to a city with good school district for my daughter's sake as soon as she was school-aged. Unfortunately, she has to bare the shame of having the smallest, yuckiest house out of all her schoolmates as Connecticut is a "2-income family" state, for sure. I grew up poor, but educated, family and I really appreciated having "THINGS" once I was on my own. I couldn't believe that M.S. had placed me back to Square One!

I know that in my heart of hearts, I am no longer physically or mentally able to work ever again due to this disease more hours than you are awake, you can pretty much kiss your career good-bye. It wasn't like I had a choice in getting this disease, and due to the severe fatigue, it wasn't like I had a choice in remaing in the workforce. For reasons I have yet to realize, God had other plans for me.

Of course, there are the good parts. No more getting up at the crack of dawn, wearing pantyhose, or having to suck up to a boss! I also don't think I would be nearly as good a mother if I was working. Now that I'm a SAHM, I'm there for her 24-7 and I can attend everything and get her out of school immediately should she get sick. My husband can be there for SOME stuff, just like I would have been if I was still working, but I can be there for ALL her stuff.

For myself, I knew right away that my version of this disease would not allow me to work outside the home, even part-time. The hardest part is going head-to-head with the "Connecticut Super Moms"- accoplished Mom's who work full-time in professional careers, and at the same time find time to serve on the PTA Executive Board while coaching on the swim team!

I feel like the Mom who is no longer allowed to "play in any Reindeer Games", and it is sometimes a very disheartening. I feel like a bag lady or something. I wish I knew others in my same boat, but I don't. All I can hope for is that my daughter remembers me with fondness one day when I'm no longer around. If that happens, my life was a success, despite this horrifying disease that was presented to me!

[MyGirlsMom]

I so get it too!

Candace, you have been presented with many great ideas. One more to add....could you be a shot nurse that works for one of the drug companies that sends nurses out to train? Also, Copaxone has a peer team with a nurse that contacts me from time to time and was available to me by phone if I had questions. Maybe that is an alternative...

mjan, blessings to you for providing love, care and support to families during difficult times. I am sure that once things settle down, there will be ways for you continue to share your gifts again, maybe just not full time. You always have such nice posts and responses to the rest of us at MS World, so thank you for being part of our community. We need you!

Tawanda, how I wish you lived in CO instead of Conn. Yes, not being included "in reindeer games" is so familiar to me as well. I feel so alone as I look good and you can't see my pain and limitations. My daughters and I talk frequently about what matters most in life and none of the "old stuff" that we both had and enjoyed really does. However, I still feel sad when I see all the Moms gathered up playing tennis and socializing....I am no longer included. (Of course, my view is different now, so I really don't want to be a part of all that meaningless stuff, but it still hurts...does that make sense?)

I had a good career and choose to be a SAHM for seven years when my girls were little. In 2009 my youngest was in school so I went back to work several months before my exacerbation and DX. I have been working p/t through this whole MS mess this past year and it has been very tough for me. My bosses are great and they give me such flexibility,..... it is amazing and a gift. My job does help me "get out of my head" and focus on something other than my pain and/or limitations. My plan is to work as long as possible.

Because I work and thus, am tired quite a bit, I feel sometimes like I am not there for my daughters the way I used to be. They are both still in elementary school and it makes me sad that I can't participate in their activities the way I used to. We try to talk about it regularly and hopefully, my girls will become compassionate young women because of the MS. That would be a blessing from this crazy disease.

Thanks for listening everyone and Candace, thank you for your post and continue to share with us on MS World.