Driving?

[Sdickerson1]

Anyone else lose the ability to drive? Mine is bc of my sight (also why my post have so many typos). I am 36 with 3 kids. I have to depend on my parents mainly for all my errands and taking kids here and there.... After dropping us off at church then dropping us at the house ( parents do not attend) my mother looks at me very tired looking and says, you don't want to go back tonight do you? I told her I Reallywanted to get my youngest into preschool choir but if it was too much..... She just looked at me, so I told even though I really wanted my child involved, I guessed it was really too much and I would probably be tired anyway..... I asked a woman who I knew was going to evening service if we could ride but bc the child's program starts one hour earlier, she asked if I could find someone else.... It is Embarrassing and I know Inconvient on Everyone!!!!!! I hate this!!!! I took my kids everywhere and we were VERY active in things (church,sports,ect). Now my
"support network". Is tired of driving us around and they have only been helping me for 1-2 months!!! What do I do????

[Tracy42]

Driving

I have times where I can not drive as well. However, I have no children or activities (besides Dr. appts) that I must get to.
I have had members from church offer to help. That may be a resource? There are also dial a ride busses for people with disabilities in this area.
If your support system is getting overwhelmed, perhaps you can let them know your intention is not to cause stress and maybe they could help you come up with some creative ideas?

Sending you good thoughts. God Bless ~Tracy

[LullabyJD]

Contact your church and see if they can help. If you're already involved, there should be someone willing to help. If not, you're clearly not going to a very Christian church (forgive me for assuming you're a Christian to begin with. If you're another faith, disregard this label and insert the one of your choice, because all religious texts expect loving behavior to fellow believers).

Also, you can work out a trade. If someone is willing/able to drive you and yours around, what can you do for them? Could you tutor a child of theirs in a subject you know, could you provide a meal for their family once a week, etc.

Just because you can't do some things doesn't mean you can't do any things. From reading your posts, it's clear you're in a really bleak place right now. I empathize with you, and hope things start looking up for you soon. With that said, things can't look up for you until you look up for yourself (insert religious message here if you wish, though none is intended).

[Sdickerson1]

It's ok lullaby. I am baptist . And yes a Christian.... If u have read my posts u know my "dh" has left me and our 3 kids for a work assignment.... He did call the youngest daily.... Now he text me randomly and asks how they are and mentions how he is too busy to call admittedly with extra curricular activities (sporting events, friends ect). The worst- driving one of our friends daughters around to her cheer classes!!! I'm struggling to get OUR kids to there classes and your helping another families child!!! Your right, I am in a low place.... If I could drive it would change things tremendously! My church is a big help but the help seemed to become us being a burden..... Maybe my perception bc I know my parents are openly tired and frustrated with the care of me and my kids......I don't know how to handle this and I was a single mom for yrs.... I am or was Very independent.... My kids Never missed an activity, relying on others and them asking for time off is really heartbreaking.... Leaves us stranded..... I want to tell my parents to get off there tush and GO to church with us instead of asking if we can miss....

[Sdickerson1]

Thanks Tracy! I am thinking if me and the kids took a holiday back to where we lived prior to this, my "support network" could take a break.... Something like that.... I do let them know my intentions r not to stress them and I am overly thankful as r my kids....no driving assist here.... My oldest is almost old enough for us to apply for a hardship license....that will be a Hugh help..... I am in the process of switching from gilenya to Ty so I hope that will put me behind the wheel....

[maximumlite]

Hello,
I only can't drive when double vision rears its ugly head but the simple eye patch has let me drive more when it happens but I have no kids at home. I kooked up help for your state and it says to call 211 for help on transportation, I hope this helps

[Sdickerson1]

Thank u much max!!!!! Big big help

[JudySz]

I am old so I do not have to drive much, just to corner to grocery store and for my hair appts. I do not even have to go on a real road to do this.....but it is so frustratng. I only have my dd and my dh here and they get tired of chauferring me around, but they do it and try to do it willingly. Dh is stuck with it cause he is married to me and for dd, I babysit her kids once in awhile, and when I am feling good, I cook dinner for her family once a week, so that more than makes up for her chauferring me. My friends pick me up when we go to lunch, but I have noticed that they do not do it as much as they used to.

Try calling your city about transportation, and I do like the idea of trading favors. Church people are always great resources too. I am calling my city to see if they have a bus to the local mall so I can get out of this house once in awhile. Dd never has time to mosey at the mall and I do not want to go with dh cause he will see me spend money. Never a good thing.

Good luck and just try your best to find help.

JudySz

[IslandGirl3]

Hi! I'm new here too! First off I am so sorry you are going through this! Its so frustrating and its hard because you don't want to burden anyone, but you have to have help!
I'm 43 and a mother of 5 kids. Back in 2004 I lost vision in my eyes, color was dim and blurred and has some paralysis in them. I also had vertigo so one of my drs reported it to the DMV and I wasn't allowed to drive for a year!!! I understand! It was terrible to have to rely on other people all the time. But I prayed quite a bit and asked the Lord to help me to just ask for help. I too encountered my support group getting less and less thrilled with wanting to help me. For me, it was very humbling because i had to go outside my comfort zone and outside my friends and go to our church (we are very active in too) and ask for help. They did help me and I prayed I would be able to "give back" some day...I did get my license back eventually and then my best friend had an AVM and had emergency brain surgery. Well, she has permanent blindness now so I help her whenever I'm able. We have a network of friends from church that all chip in and help her. And I know they'll be there for me too if I need it again.

I guess I just want to encourage you that you're not alone! Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help and give others an opportunity to serve and be blessed. Let Jesus be your strength!
I'll be praying for you

[Spydre]

I had to give up my license three years ago because with the MS my epilepsy became unstable. BUT, my husband is here transport me around. Do you have public bus service in your town? You've said it was a smallish town - mine is about 27,000 people and we have halfway decent bus service inside the town itself.

For your medical appointments, see if you can get medical transportation to do it for you, lightening the load on your parents. And talk to your pastor and see if maybe some members of your church would be willing to set up a rotating schedule of who would be available to help you out. You can always repay them in favors.