What do you do???

[rocky282]

I'm depressed, I'm on medication for it, and seeing a shrink. Life situations are not going quite how I had planned, hoped, dreamed. My kids aren't listening to me and today I almost wish I could walk away from my life. What do you guys do? I know I can't be alone in this feeling, there has to be someone else who deals with this.

Please share what you do, perhaps I can find something that will help. My kids are 5, 4, and 2. My husband is retired from the military and he is also disabled. I'm having ever increasing vision problems and lately my BP has been fluctuating so much that I am dizzy and almost to the point of blacking out. The doctor blames it on my new medication (antibiotic to take for just 14 days) at least blames the BP on that.

In the past 3 years I've moved 9 times, finished my MBA while working full time and being alone with my kids while my husband was on active duty. I had to quite my job because I kept having problems and couldn't function well enough to stay employed. Found out my husband was having an online affair with another married woman for a year while he was deployed and I was running all of our lives, going to school, working, getting diagnosed with MS. (We did work it out and he swears he won't do it again, but I don't know how to trust him again, or if I even should, or can)

The doctor keeps telling me it may be PPMS not RRMS but he's never sure. Doesn't want to commit to anything. Top that off with now I'm too unsteady to drive so I really have no alone time any more. It's either home with everyone, out with everyone or home alone with the kids. With the limited disabled persons income we can't afford to have a babysitter more than once a month. I'm just at my wits end and trying like hell to survive this crap! God I need help!

[CasinoKathy]

Rocky, glad to hear your on meds for the depression- sounds like you have alot to deal with. Stress is so bad for ms.

My heart goes out to you! Dealing with your sx can be overwhelming. Though little children are a blessing, they can be a handful too. Add in all the times you have had to move, hubbies disability, having to quit your job, and bp problems, no wonder you are at your wits end.

Do you have a friend or relative that could baby-sit once in a while so you and hubby can get out for afew hours? Is it possible for you to get away and just take a short walk afew times a week, so you can have some alone time? I wish I had better answers for you. Do you have a close friend you can talk to - sometimes this helps. Good luck and don't give in or up! We are always here to listen and hopefully offer some words of wisdom! Casino

[kebsa]

i too, really feel for you! YOu have a lot on your plate at the moment and i can understand why you are feeling down. I have battled depression off and on for years now and have had periods when i have been on medication and then been able to come off at least for a while.

my experience is the medication does not actually stop you from feeling depressed, not completely anyway. in my case, when i get really depressed my sleep patterns get really bad, going nights with next to no sleep and then sleeping for pretty much a day or so to catch up. that definately makes the depression worse and the antidepressants help to regulate that for me. For me, being able to communicate with others who are going through similar troubles was the best thing i did- suddenly you feel like you are not alone and can understand that there are reasons for you to feel the way you do. I understand the finacial side of things being tough but if you can find a support group that would be one of the best things you can do for yourself.

you need to understand that being depressed is not a weakness or a failure on your part- dealing with chronic illness is a damn good reason to feel stressed and then you mention that your husband has problems too, plus you have to try to run a household! I can only speak for myself her but i don't think i was unique- basically i found i could usually cope with one problem reasonabley well, even if it was a serious issue, but when you toss a couple more problems in the mix, that is when the depression sets in. If you can't find a support group, speak to your Doctor, it may be that a change in medication might help. I know at my worst i was able to see a psychologist and she was a great help- no magic bullet, but depression can lead to a cycle of negative thinking- the psychologist was able to challenge my thinking when it was needed, to reassure when needed etc etc. if you have spoke to one before and not been impressed, you need to realise that sometimes you need to try a couple to find the right "fit"- I saw one who was OK and kind of useful to a point but then the 2nd one i saw was fantastic- there was nothing i could hide from her- i really think she is why i am here still

I know you feel really down and despondant at the moment but this will not last for ever. You have a lot on your plate at present and really, if you did not feel somewhat overwhelmed, i think that would be less normal!The biggest thing is that when we feel overwhelmed and struggling to get from one day to another, that is when you need to find someone to help you keep going- look for a support group, even and on line one but out of the house would be better- if you can't, go back to your Dr and be really honest about how you are feeling- you can get through this