sadness...and other things

[lusgirl]

Hello everyone,
It has been quite some time since I posted. I was recently on short term disability and am now applying for long term. I had to say goodbye to my job of 25 years. It has me rather sad and blue. I thought I could continue working but MS said otherwise. How do you focus from something that sort of identified who you were to loads of questions about what am I going to do now?

In addition to saying farewell to my job, i have been battling ants this summer. In NC the weather has been hot (100+) , humid and dry days!! Ugh!!! The combo of MS symptoms and ants in my kitchen, I thought I was going to explode. I was just about ready to torch my house to get right of those little demons. Come to find out they were attracted to my cooking spray!!! I got rid of that and have not seen anymore. Had to call the pest control co 4 times!!!!!!! I wanted to scream!!!

Sorry I got carried away. Just needed to vent. My husband thought I was overreacting. Maybe...maybe not.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Please pardon the errors. I am having difficulty typing today.

[toot2818]

Yes it is hard to leave job

I worked for 40 years at the same community center. I went through many different directors and co-worker. 25 of the years were with MS. Last couple years I disliked the leadership and the direction she was taking the center. Way too much stress. I was "let go", think younger director was threatened by me. But this is not my place to vent, it's yours

I still see my friends from the job, we go to lunch. I listen to their complaints and smile. It's been two years and I really don't know where the time has gone. You'll find things to keep yourself busy.

I even started having trouble with my feet and choose to stop driving---but really felt trapped so this summer I looked into getting hand controls for the car. Completed the required training and now am waiting to have them but in my car. That has kept me busy.

Wisconsin has had more hot weather than in the past, I'm thankful we have air conditioning--last couple days have felt like fall They say the heat & humindy will be back next week.

And ants--we had a problem, found them in my coffee filters

Will you be applying for disability? That will keep you busy for awhile.

Keep in touch with your friends from work, cook and bake, read and for sure stay in touch with this web site. There are lots of good people with MS out hear willing to listen & be your friend.

Toot

[elliebelle]

Hi Lus,
I am really hoping today is a better day for you! I can't say that I am going thru exactly the same thing that you are but I am struggling too with changes that MS has forced me to make. Ever since I was diagnosed in 1994-it seems like my life has had to be "molded" around what MS will/will not allow my body to do. I have had to resign a position that I absolutely loved and went to a part time job in a field that I was completely unfamiliar with. Amazingly it has been a very good change!!! I think we all have those times where we feel sad and "defeated" and that is OK and normal!! I would have to guess if someone told me that the MS didnt ever get them down-I would have to call them a big liar! This is just the way I look at it...God gives me bad days to allow me to look forward to, appreciate, and make the most of the good days!!!

[DianeD]

Know what...

Why in the world wouldn't you feel sad and blue when you've had to leave a job you loved! Think how lucky you were to love your work. You aren't alone here in that situation.

For me, we'd moved and I finally got around to actually turning my hobby into a job. I love antiques and collectibles so I started my own small business in a local Antique mall. I did it for three years; I would still do it but a combo of the poor economy and my worstening condition has caused me to end it.

I miss the interaction with people, but the paperwork and the leg work was just too much.

You do what you can when you can; that's for sure. I bet you'll find something you like to do and hopefully can do in another venue.

I guess we all do better if we don't dwell on the past and start to live in the present. I'm trying.

BTW: I live in NC also, near Charlotte. We've had awful heat and humidity, but 'dry'? Where we are we've had the most rain in the 8 yrs I've lived here. I hate the climate, the bugs,...

As to ants; were they little ones (sugar ants)? My neighbor had them, but so far none here. Over the years I've kept my sugar, flour and anything else bugs like in zip lock (lg size) bags. I had the little ants in Florida. We'd just moved to our house and dh was away finishing up business in Michigan.

I bet it was quite a sight the morning I awoke to find those ants swarming in a corner of my kitchen. It probably looked like I was dancing a crazy dance when I stomped as many of them as I could.

I squished them and went to the store to buy some raid and then liberally doused them. Also bought sticky 'ant traps' and never had a problem after that.

It was a good time to use a 'Raid' type product as my pantry hadn't been filled yet. Good timing for me.

Good Luck, Diane

[lusgirl]

Thank you all for your responses. Yes I am feeling a little better today. Not quite so sad and blue. I guess it is the ups and downs of MS. Your emotions are never the same on any given day.

Diane: Yes they are those little black ants. Just plain wretched. They almost drove me crazy!! I am so looking forward to cooler weather and they can do a disappearing act. I used so many things, organic and otherwise, to combat them. I am not even sure what did or did not work. Hubby will be talking to pest control about this problem will the possibility of a replacement.

Ellie: thank you for your kind words.

Toot: I plan to keep in touch with my co-workers. It is essential for me right now. I think my long term carrier may require me to apply to disability, though right now I am not sure. However, I have enough paperwork to keep me busy with them.

Thanks again all. It was so good to know someone cares.

[JudySz]

Oh you hit the ai on the head...My eyes are not very good anymore and when I get stressed, my legs start shaking, so I hardly drive anymore. Weekends are good for me cause dd and her family take me places, and so dos dh. We downsiized and, even though I like the house, and it is easy o take care of, we are renting so I cannot play with paint, etc. and I get so bored. Just dh and me and dogs, so laundry does not take long. I can get the house done quiclkly and then I do not know what to do with myself. I try to tlk to friends and I talk to my daughters every day....I go to lunch onde in awhile ....but not much.

Today I took camera when I walked dogs and took some really nice pictures of our waterfall and some flowers. I may enter some of them in our local fair next year. On good days, I try new recepies.....

Find something you enjoy and try to keep yourself busy.

Feel better and remember we are always around to vent to.

JudySz

[justacowgirl]

I am sorry for you and understand that you would feel blue. As someone said..who wouldn't.

I too lost a job I really loved BUT I found another that is mentally and physically easier. But my boss is a slave driver!! Me!!! There are days when I really miss my old self and then there are other days when I realize how fortunate I am to have something that I can and want to do.

I encourage you to stay busy and find something that you love doing.

j

[poohb3ar]

you've got reason to be sad and venting.
the heat is enough to get to any of us MSrs.

i know when i was 'budgeted out' from my long term preschool teaching job (was in w/c full time then) it just crushed me. didn't see it coming and cried for days.

then cried some more while i tried to find a job and no one would hire me because too educated, too experienced, blah, blah....
never been fired before & not been able to get a job.

i pray that you're having an easier time of it. i know how hard it is emotionally and financially on you.
hang in there! don't let the turkey buzzards win and get you down.

i finally realized it was tough but also a blessing. i was able to stay home and be there for my youngest DD's senior yr. got in a lot of quality time.
hoping you can find a rainbow in this storm too.

take care & God bless ya!

[Sdickerson1]

I understand how losing your job feels. I am an occupational therapy assist and even before my dx the MS was interfering with my job. My mgr was very understanding even after the dx but the dr said I would not be able to perform my job bc my cognitive status is impaired and my balance is almost always off... Can't really walk a patient if you can't walk yourself or teach them memory skills if you can't remember things yourself. I am stubborn and plan to keep my licence though-- just in case. Sorry for your loss....