What would you have done

[Lendi]

I just wanted input on what you might have done or how I could have handled the situtation better.

My DH's family was over (about 30) and one member brought a new baby along. A beautiful child and one I'd have loved to hold and rock for hrs once upon a time.

I made an excuse though as I was afraid I'd drop her. She's tiny, a preemie. I didn't want to just blurt out that I have MS and really shouldn't without being on a sofa or cushy chair where I'd have support. I just said I'd rather not hold the baby in the type of chair (a bar stool) I was sitting in and that I was afraid I drop her.

The yount mother picked the baby up out of her carrier and handed her to me. I was petrified that something would go numb or weak and I'd drop her. I held her for a few minutes then handed her over so someone else could ahve a turn. Later, I was encouraged, again by the young mother, to hold the baby some more but did manage to decline.

There were so many people and it was such a happy event I hated to get into MS and put a damper on things but still I was naturally unwilling to do something that might hurt the baby.

What would you ahve done?

[Redwings]

I would have said something like, "Barstools aren't for babies," and sent the pushy young mother off to "remove" someone else from a proper chair so I could sit down with the baby. If she wouldn't do it, then I wouldn't do it (for several reasons).

It makes me wonder why this young mother was so happy to be handing her baby around, especially to someone who's already said she didn't want to hold the baby...

[Thinkimjob]

You did all right.

[SNOOPY]

I would have said something like, "Barstools aren't for babies," and sent the pushy young mother off to "remove" someone else from a proper chair so I could sit down with the baby.

I couldn't have said it any better.

Lendi, you don't even have to mention MS when doing what Redwings said. You just tell them if someone would get up from a more proper place for you to safely hold the baby you would love to, if not, then, no.

I understand the fear of dropping a baby. Both of my children were born after my diagnosis and dropping them was my biggest concern...it never happened

[onlyairfare]

I'm surprised the other of a young baby, especially a preemie, would be passing her young baby around like that. They haven't completed their immunizations yet and can be very susceptible to illnesses that will be much more serious for them than for older babies.

And to people on barstools - as at a bar, where people are drinking alcoholic beverages? Yes, I'd have recommended a good chair or sofa with more support as an appropriate place to hold a baby, not a barstool.

[Lendi]

There have been lots of family issues and I've backed her. I think she felt she was showing me respect by handing the baby to me first. She's from a very large family so not as uncomfortable germ etc. wise. The baby is 2 months now but still tiny and fragile looking.

We weren't at a bar. I was just perched on a bar stool. I think I should have made someone move, too. I'm just not very um forceful I guess is a close term. That's what I'll do the next time or maybe one day I can get her aside and explain my difficulty.

My heart goes out to all of you dealing with MS and small children. You have my utmost respect. I can't figure out how you manage to keep up!!!

[Jules A]

There have been lots of family issues and I've backed her. I think she felt she was showing me respect by handing the baby to me first. She's from a very large family so not as uncomfortable germ etc. wise. The baby is 2 months now but still tiny and fragile looking.

We weren't at a bar. I was just perched on a bar stool. I think I should have made someone move, too. I'm just not very um forceful I guess is a close term. That's what I'll do the next time or maybe one day I can get her aside and explain my difficulty.

My heart goes out to all of you dealing with MS and small children. You have my utmost respect. I can't figure out how you manage to keep up!!!

I was going to say what an honor that she was so adamant that you hold her beautiful new baby.

Although I agree that it would have been better if you had asked to move to a sofa or better chair before she gave you the precious bundle in light of all the complaints I have seen about people who weren't offered a turn to hold the newborn I would be flattered not upset. Congratulations on the new member to your family.

[dredog31]

you did alright

I usually don't hold babies. A lot of our friends had new babies the past year and I just decline holding them. I know alot of people who don't have ms that dont' hold other people's babies either. You did alright in declining the invitation to hold the baby.

[gomer]

What I, would have done...........

I would have simply said I would feel safer holding the baby on a sofa etc. Mentioning any reason would be OPTIONAL, no NEED to disclose having MS, unless felt comfortable or wanted to do so. Sometimes less is more.

A situation like this can also be used as an ice breaker to bring up MS, but only if and when YOU WANTED.

I see nothing wrong with how you handled it.

Well that's my 2 cents.

Gomer

[Spydre]

I have to agree that you handled the situation correctly. If you weren't confident that you couldn't keep a "grip" on her, especially sitting on a bar stool, you shouldn't have been pushed into. I agree that the mother's reasons were noble, so if I were you I would have asked someone to move off the couch or a comfy chair so that you could hold the baby.