Well it has been 3 months since my dx and I honestly say I have riden the entire emotional rollercoaster. I have been angry, asked why me, been angry again and have felt lonely. I think the hardes was feeling lonely. I felt like noone understood what my life had become. I felt like noone really cared.
Finally after 3 months of emotional torture I have begun to accept the life that is now mine. I sit up late at night and just think. I put on my earphones plug in my iPod close my eyes and let my mind go. It was during one of my mental vacations the words of my dad rang forth. He would always tell me " Son always remember things happen for a reason and happen for the best."
So with these word I realized I had not been cursed but I had been given a challenge. A challenge to teach people not to judge and to respect one another. I have learned to accept MS not as a disability but yet as an opportunity. It takes a strong person to handle the challenges of living with MS. So it is with this acceptance I feel special and not different. I feel strong and not we weak. And I feel blessed and cursed.
You see I know now that it truly could be worse and the reason for me having MS is to help others understand that. To many times I hear people crying woe is me. Now it is my challenge to help them understand that while they do have problems or an illness there are always those who have bigger problems or a more debilitating disease. Don't feel sorry for yourself but feel blessed knowing things could always be worse. And if my MS progresses to the point of total disability I will be strong and not weak. I watched my Mom slowly die from breast cancer and her strength never ceased to amaze me. She was more concerned and worried about those around and close to her than she was for herself. That is the strength I will draw from.
So for those who may read this that are newly diagnosed know that you are not alone. Though life as you knew it changed in the instant those words were spoken by your doctor still have life to live. And while we will all have our moments where we cry in pain and pound the walls in anger we are being human. We will walk forward from those moments stronger and more at peace with our lives.
May God Bless us all and help us to perservere.
***Message broken into paragraphs for readability. Some of our members have vision problems with large blocks of type.***
Finally after 3 months of emotional torture I have begun to accept the life that is now mine. I sit up late at night and just think. I put on my earphones plug in my iPod close my eyes and let my mind go. It was during one of my mental vacations the words of my dad rang forth. He would always tell me " Son always remember things happen for a reason and happen for the best."
So with these word I realized I had not been cursed but I had been given a challenge. A challenge to teach people not to judge and to respect one another. I have learned to accept MS not as a disability but yet as an opportunity. It takes a strong person to handle the challenges of living with MS. So it is with this acceptance I feel special and not different. I feel strong and not we weak. And I feel blessed and cursed.
You see I know now that it truly could be worse and the reason for me having MS is to help others understand that. To many times I hear people crying woe is me. Now it is my challenge to help them understand that while they do have problems or an illness there are always those who have bigger problems or a more debilitating disease. Don't feel sorry for yourself but feel blessed knowing things could always be worse. And if my MS progresses to the point of total disability I will be strong and not weak. I watched my Mom slowly die from breast cancer and her strength never ceased to amaze me. She was more concerned and worried about those around and close to her than she was for herself. That is the strength I will draw from.
So for those who may read this that are newly diagnosed know that you are not alone. Though life as you knew it changed in the instant those words were spoken by your doctor still have life to live. And while we will all have our moments where we cry in pain and pound the walls in anger we are being human. We will walk forward from those moments stronger and more at peace with our lives.
May God Bless us all and help us to perservere.
***Message broken into paragraphs for readability. Some of our members have vision problems with large blocks of type.***
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