Just Sad

[msprinnie]

Sometjimes do you just feel Sad and trapped longing for things to be normal or waiting for what might happen I wish I was strong always

[KoKo]

Hi msprinnie

Sometjimes do you just feel Sad and trapped longing for things to be normal or waiting for what might happen I wish I was strong always

Yes sometimes I do feel sad and trapped.

I really don't long for things to be normal anymore - they haven't been for the past 12 years.....

"Waiting for what might happen" - do you mean in regards to what the MS will do? I don't have to wait for what might happen, as things have been happening all along since diagnosis.

It would be nice to always be strong - but I think all of us have our weaker moments, and that's ok - we're only human.

Wishing you (and all of us) some better days ahead, and the strength to endure one day at a time.

Take care,
KoKo

[MrsBones]

I think it takes strength to recognize a weakness in ourselves.
You can certainly feel whatever comes, and you should allow yourself those feelings, but know that you're stronger than you might think.

[msprinnie]

Thank you ............

[Thinkimjob]

Trapped like a rat - but there's nothing you can do to change the fact of having MS, just as there's nothing you can do change the fact we all die.
It's bloody awful, like any loss, but the sun comes up, and you go on.
And I'm speaking as someone who would happily have woken up dead a month ago.
It won't be ok, but it won't be as bad as you fear.

[CasinoKathy]

Yes, I feel sad alot lately!! But I'm not waiting for what might happen, because I know and live it everyday!

And yes, I do feel trapped--trapped in an old womans body that wants to function like it did less than 4 years ago. Feel like 90 and I'm only 57!

But this morning I got up extra early, put more effort into styling my hair, put eye make-up on (that's all I do use, when I decide to use some). Then I made a list of what I want to do today and starting DOING IT!!! I'm gonna move my body no matter what, if I can only clean for 15 minutes at a time, well then that's what I'll do.

Try to think of what will make you happy again, and start with small steps. No hurry- I always say--what I do have is alot of time- as I'm not running around to stores much anymore.

Good luck and hope your feeling more chippy soon!!

[Lendi]

Yep, sometimes I mourn the loss of what was. I work towards some of the what is good in my life. I "see" so much more now than I did, more like through the eyes of a child. For one thing, I've met so many new friends here at MS world that I wouldn't have if I didn't have this disease. I know, sometimes I'm sappy but I dont' think I could get through this if I wasn't.

[Spydre]

Yes, I feel sad alot lately!! But I'm not waiting for what might happen, because I know and live it everyday!

And yes, I do feel trapped--trapped in an old womans body that wants to function like it did less than 4 years ago. Feel like 90 and I'm only 57!

But this morning I got up extra early, put more effort into styling my hair, put eye make-up on (that's all I do use, when I decide to use some). Then I made a list of what I want to do today and starting DOING IT!!! I'm gonna move my body no matter what, if I can only clean for 15 minutes at a time, well then that's what I'll do.

Try to think of what will make you happy again, and start with small steps. No hurry- I always say--what I do have is alot of time- as I'm not running around to stores much anymore.

Good luck and hope your feeling more chippy soon!!

I know the feeling, CasinoKathy. I'm 37, and let's just say my 45 year old sister feels better than me. Between the MS and the fibromyalgia, I feel about 20 years older.

And OP, I totally understand about feeling sad, and trapped. With Copaxone, I didn't have any relapses for almost a year and a half, but that didn't mean that I felt "well". And then, well, when the relapses came back, my mood plummeted, and the fact that I was relapsing so soon scared me. I mean, I knew that the meds just slowed the progression and relapses down, but having one at the end of January, and another this month, just sent my mood spinning.

[Jules A]

I do. Sad, trapped and scared whenever I think about the long term realities of this miserable disease.

[chalknpens]

Sad, anxious, and framed!

I don't think anyone deserves any chronic illness. But this one is particularly cruel. Not caused by alcohol or tobacco or drugs or germs or poor diet or hygiene or lack of exercise or reckless driving. No road map for what to expect. No treatment that stops progression (and I don't get too excited about the 33% possibility of delayed progression). And no cure in sight. Invisible symptoms that others can ignore or forget about, and a nightly treatment that reminds me every day that I was somehow, inexplicably, in the wrong line at the wrong time.

This was not on my agenda! I've been framed! The penalty is mine to pay, and no one but the people who truly love me really cares.

[Dvirmani]

I can relate to that

Thanks for sharing. I to feel "trapped" quite often. I also have chronic fatigue syndrome as well as MS.

I had to give up work due to debilitating fatigue that zaps me out of the blue but nearly every day my fatigue is bad ( much more energy when it's cold).

Inside my head I remember the person I was - hard working, much more outgoing, and got things done and had tons of confidence. This illness has taken that away from me: my mind is willing when the body is not and I get down on myself when I write lists of daily things to do, then do one thing and the fatigue hits and I feel useless and the confidence level goes down when you feel more dependent on others when I had my own independence and income mown own before and I have more fear than I had wit having all these drugs and wondering if they will make me worse ......it's hard to live in the moment sometimes as I start worrying about the future.

The hardest thing for me is that when I have all my make up on and nice clothes nobody realizes how sick I am and this is especially hurtful from loved ones who know you have MS yet don't have a clue how badly is affects us: physically, mentally and emotionally and I hate it when I get comments like "be happy - don't be depressed".. Or "I get fatigued too so just have a good night's sleep". That is hurtful to me and I have tried explaining but am tired of justifying this illness anymore.

My love of my 5 dogs and fostering orphaned puppies for the shelter lifts my spirits as I see the innocence and happiness in their faces and that's what brings me soooo much joy and keeps me going

[JudySz]

Kathy, good advice. I neededthat today too.

I feel like going to bad and just staying there for weeks and watching movies. I try to do stuff but I am getting tired of feeling poorly the last few weeks. Last night was a jewelry party at dd's freinds house and tonight is book club, so I can get out and put on some makeup. That does help, but my mood is horrible. I am starting to feel like a burden to my family. Grils call every day to see how I am and I sometimes tell them, sometimes not. Dc dd is calling more lately since she was here last weekend and saw how bad I really am. Other dd took my to party last night and will be drivng me to book club tonight. Good thing we have the same freinds.

When I watch grandson, I have to make sure dh is home in case I have to pick him up or put him in crib or highchair. I feel horrible that I cannot walk around with him. Wanted to take older kids to breakfast this am, but was not feeling good enough. Dh had to get ready for work and did not feel like taking us, so we postponed it for a later date. I just get so frustrated, I used to work, go out, take care of kids , etc. Now, I just sit around, clean when I can and walk dogs ....I hate my life and knowing there is no cure makes it worse.....

All we can do is hang in there and try to do some things we used to and get used to the rest. My 2 r. anniversary of MS dx is coming up too, so I am just worried when I look at how quickly I seemed to go downhill.

I hope someone can give us both some good advice.

JudySz