Cannot control my emotions.

[kittysmith]

I am all over the place with my emotions lately. Misplaced anger, uncontrollable crying, and deep, deep depression. I've been dealing with this here & there since I was diagnosed and started my DMD (Avonex). It seems to be getting worse.

I have never felt so dispondent. I do see a psychiatrist who has doubled the dose of one of my anti-depressants. I don't think it's working. I am trying to get in to see my former psychologist, but when I called the other day, her message said she wasn't accepting new patients. I am waiting to hear back from her when she comes back to the office.

I am trying to meditate and practice mindfulness. I am writing furiously in my journal again just trying to get my feeling out there so I can figure myself out.

Does anyone else feel this way? I don't want to be sad or mad all the time. It is exhausting and making my family miserable.

[kelm10]

interferons

Avonex is one of the interferons that is used for treating MS.

The unfortunate thing with interferons is that it can cause or aggravate depression.

Talk to your neuro about this, too. would probably be the first thing that I would do.

[Seasha]

I agree with Mary here! Avonex was my first DMT and the depression got worse - to the point that I had to stop taking it- even on anti-depressants. Depression is a s/e of Avonex for some people, but you will want to talk with your prescribing doctor about it.

Hope you can get to the bottom of this and take care

[DebbieB]

I agree with the other posters. I admire you for taking positive steps such as meditation, mindfulness practice and journaling. Hope your therapist/Doc gets back to you tomorrow. You are doing great reaching out and doing what you need to do....hang in.

[kittysmith]

Left message w/MS doc

Just left a message to let my MS doc know about my symptoms. I have been on Avonex going on 6 years. I have experienced these feelings off and on the entire time. And before starting Avonex, I already had some mental issues related to my childhood. I was already on an anti-depressant & seeing a therapist when I was diagnosed and started taking my DMD.

I am embarrassed by these feelings. They make me feel mean and also unprofessional. My 7 year old son, who has Autism, keeps rubbing my back and saying "Mommy is sad, Mommy is sad". It just breaks my heart.

[Seasha]

kitty - I was on Avonex for 6 years also - the depression just crept up insidiously (sneakily)!!

So glad you got in touch with your doctor. Please don't be ashamed about this - it's NOT your fault! Remember this - OK?

Bless your heart and your son's It will get better... stay in touch and let us know how you're doing!

[KatieAgain]

Interferons and Depression can be a bad thing. I too am glad you have called your Doctor...there are other options in regards to DMDs.

Not your fault, so throw the embarrassment out the window. As far as your Son who is Autistic...he is showing you Empathy...and that is actually a really good thing. Not that you would want him to see you like that all the time. But it sounds like you have recognized the problem and set your mind to fixing it.

You can't fix your MS, but you can somewhat fix what is going on right now...you have taken the first step by notifying the doctor.

[kittysmith]

Interferons and Depression can be a bad thing. I too am glad you have called your Doctor...there are other options in regards to DMDs.

Not your fault, so throw the embarrassment out the window. As far as your Son who is Autistic...he is showing you Empathy...and that is actually a really good thing. Not that you would want him to see you like that all the time. But it sounds like you have recognized the problem and set your mind to fixing it.

You can't fix your MS, but you can somewhat fix what is going on right now...you have taken the first step by notifying the doctor.

The one good thing that has come out if this is my 7 year old son's empathy. It's hard for kids with autism to understand emotions. When he was younger, if he saw me crying he would hit me and tell me he was mad at me (on his Ipad). Just recently, he helped a classmate calm down by rubbing his back. Now, he is so calm when I get emotional. He is my lilttle miracle. He did not start talking until this year. He's been using an Ipad to communicate since he was 4. So my emotional outbursts have helped with someting!

[Keleia]

Hello, kittysmith

I was just reading some of the things going on at your work and wanted to say that I am so sorry for all the garbage being thrown your way. It is very sad and shocking to me that not only is it your co-workers doing this but also your boss. I'm sorry, but I agree with a few others and would definitely contact HR and find out what your options are. Oh, and did they contact EVERYONE about the chair peeing or just you? I wouldn't be humiliated myself, but I sure would be angry! I am certain that I would go to each and every person I worked alongside and ask them if they had peed in my chair!! If they said, "No, of course not!" I'd ask them to prove it. Hugs to you this evening, and I also wanted to say to please, please, please hang in there, in spite of severe depression. Wish I were where you lived, I would be right there and educate those ignorant people you are working with!

[Thinkimjob]

Don't ever feel embarrassed, Kittysmith. As they say, you'd be mad not to feel a bit depressed, what with MS and all.

We are braver and better people than we ever thought we could be.

[jennyver]

I have to agree

I've had depressive episodes since long before I was diagnosed. When I was diagnosed 3 years ago, my neurologist wouldn't let me even consider going on interferons as a first-line treatment because of the risk of depression. I've been on Copaxone ever since and have remained pretty consistent both emotionally and physically on it.