What Defines You

[Don2480]

After reading many messages that break my heart i wanted to add my thoughts...For those of us living with this disease we all know that some days it feels like it hits us when we are already down. Some days are defined by pain, others random annoyances, and yet some days are hard to move. This disease will chew all of us up if we let it. It can redefine our normal. Make it so we don't remember what the word even means. It can take away our legs and make us hope for the intangible. One thing we should not let us do is become who we are. I live with MS it does not live for me. I can control what it cannot. I can choose to love life and laugh as much as possible. One day at a time. One determination to create small victories. I want to be defined by not allowing anything control who I am.

Today I went to take a nap and found it impossible to get out of bed...I laid awake for a couple hours before deciding that I can not allow this to happen. So i got up and did the dishes, cooked dinner, and played with my kids. It took everything I had but I did it. Tomorrow I will go to work. When I get off I will cook and play with my kids. On Saturday I will take my wife out.

I have MS and my Wife is a stay at home mom. I recently had a terrible flare and I went for steroid infusions while adjusting my work schedule to make up the time same day.

I am not saying this to blow my own horn..I often question my strength and want to give up...I am writing this to hopefully give someone else strength...Be stubborn with me. Go to work and make excuses other than MS. Get out of bed...Do it until you no longer can. Laugh when you want to cry.

[laurakim]

I live in a facility, am in a wheelchair 24/7, little use of hands and I love my life. I am younger than everyone who lives here by 30 and 40 years. My caregiver attaches my dog to my chair and we go visiting residents of all levels of physical and mental abilities. I find life is more fulfilling now than at any job I ever had. (I was an artist) I’m losing the strength to speak but I know I will find a way to communicate. For me, it’s all about the people surrounding me. There is always a way for me because I’m determined to find it. Agreed Don, just keep getting up and going. Be well.

[justacowgirl]

Absolutely MS does not define me. I am who I am with or without MS. I choose how I live and nothing change my path except my God.

Both of the above posts brought me to tears.

I used to work with the hopeless in the world. I saw horrible things. But it made me realize we choose how we live. Everyone has a devil they deal with. How you deal with the devil is who you become.

J

[Cat Mom]

As much as I don't want it to define me, it's the bully that defines how I live my life. Even if I try my best to not let it, to the point that my DH and 6 kids don't realize what a struggle it is, it's front and centre, everything in my world revolves around it, and it just sucks.

Sorry for being the queen bummer on this otherwise uplifting thread, just one of those weeks.

Jen

[knuckle]

With this disease, which I have now lived with for about 25 years, when you start feeling sorry for yourself, it may help to remember that there are plenty of people with MS much worse off than you and would love to only have the symptoms or level of disability you are now experiencing.

[aitch10]

Before I had my kids I would probably say that most people defined me as a traveler, writer or history dork. Those things still apply, but my boys are what frame my life now.

The MS is there. I am one of the few disabled people most people I know know, but the other stuff is what makes me me.

[Thinkimjob]

So far as MS goes, There are just things I cannot do any more. I still love the beach, I love horse riding, I love gardening, I love working, holidays, reading, writing, long walks, shopping, music etc.

The love is still strong, but as they say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Yes, there are ways around some of it, but I can't see myself catching a wave ever again, or putting a horse over a few jumps. Or walking on the beach. Actually, just writing that list made me cry. (Stop it, smack.)

We are more than our physical abilities and more than our disease. We are people who happen to have MS, not host bodies for the nasty illness. I suppose we are our courage and our character. Lord knows how that's bearing up.

[DebbieB]

Very poignant postings. Thanks, Don and Laura, especially, for your heartfelt, uplifting messages.

I really needed this....have been pretty down lately.

Hugs to all.

[Don2480]

accomplished

[zilphia01]

great post!!!!

I agree Don2480, and love this post. I really like the post that said "Everyone has a devil they deal with. How you deal with the devil is who you become."

Where I USED TO fill my time with scuba, snorkling, biking, etc etc etc now I quilt, sew, paint, etc etc..... more sedentary, yes, but still find the beauty of the day, of the moment.

I am SO VERY BLESSED to be surrounded by positive people. Those that aren't just get dumped. I don't have time for that. ("Ain't nobody got time fo dat")

I pray that I can keep this attitude as progression happens. Until then, why worry? Can't change that future.... make the most of now.

[Don2480]

I love your thoughts of not worrying about the progression until it progresses.

I will say that I am superstitious and I think it comes from playing football in my youth...But i do believe in the power of the mind...

When I was on my way to my teenage years I witnessed my grandmother pass when my grandfather said "I you are the love of my life but it is if you needed to go"...Don't view this as sad event as it felt like a weight had been lifted and she was no longer suffering from her long bout with cancer...There were no tears but a strange reassurance as if the room had a gas leak...We all have or have heard stories like this...The couples that die days apart, the dog that dies with their owner, the person that overcomes medical impossibilities....

I believe our mind set plays a huge role in our end results..So with that said I minimize times of feeling like I was dealt a bad hand and choose to bluff my way through life.