Hello,
I don't know what to do with all of my fear now that I've read almost everything there is on the internet about MS other than say... hello? here.
I had a neurological workup about 8 years ago due to a series of some "weird nerve pains" in my hands and feet. The MRI showed some lesions but the neurologist said they "didn't look like typical MS lesions" and he sent me away with an "idiopathic peripheral neuropathy" diagnosis and mentioned offhandedly that I should probably repeat an MRI in another year. Well, my symptoms resolved and he hadn't seemed very concerned and frankly I liked his non-diagnosis, so I forgot about it and I didn't continue looking for answers.
Over the years since then I've had a half dozen or so of these episodes which I came to think of as my "weird tweaky nerves", all along attempting to treat attention issues as "ADD". Now with another pain/weirdness in my foot that has been here for a couple weeks, I am on my way to neurology for another workup and after spending the last week reading about how MS often manifests and is diagnosed, and after giving real attention to my cognitive issues (inattention, memory lapses) and near-constant fatigue, and to the odd little sensations I have around my body, I am almost certain it is MS. And I am terrified. I'm 44. I'm single. I live by myself and work for myself. I'm feeling very alone and terrified.
I'll be seen in a week and will learn more, but now my head is spinning with wondering how long I've possibly had this (seems like probably a decade or so), what the progression might be, what kind of drugs I would best take, how I would pay for this life reality, whether I should make a health insurance move in the next month while I can (stay with my current HMO (Kaiser) or pay more for a PPO to see the specialists of my choice, etc.), how I would DO this being by myself?!
I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself and worrying before I even have the info, but... that's what's happening, and I figured this might be a place to get some support or at least company along the way...
Thank you.
I don't know what to do with all of my fear now that I've read almost everything there is on the internet about MS other than say... hello? here.
I had a neurological workup about 8 years ago due to a series of some "weird nerve pains" in my hands and feet. The MRI showed some lesions but the neurologist said they "didn't look like typical MS lesions" and he sent me away with an "idiopathic peripheral neuropathy" diagnosis and mentioned offhandedly that I should probably repeat an MRI in another year. Well, my symptoms resolved and he hadn't seemed very concerned and frankly I liked his non-diagnosis, so I forgot about it and I didn't continue looking for answers.
Over the years since then I've had a half dozen or so of these episodes which I came to think of as my "weird tweaky nerves", all along attempting to treat attention issues as "ADD". Now with another pain/weirdness in my foot that has been here for a couple weeks, I am on my way to neurology for another workup and after spending the last week reading about how MS often manifests and is diagnosed, and after giving real attention to my cognitive issues (inattention, memory lapses) and near-constant fatigue, and to the odd little sensations I have around my body, I am almost certain it is MS. And I am terrified. I'm 44. I'm single. I live by myself and work for myself. I'm feeling very alone and terrified.
I'll be seen in a week and will learn more, but now my head is spinning with wondering how long I've possibly had this (seems like probably a decade or so), what the progression might be, what kind of drugs I would best take, how I would pay for this life reality, whether I should make a health insurance move in the next month while I can (stay with my current HMO (Kaiser) or pay more for a PPO to see the specialists of my choice, etc.), how I would DO this being by myself?!
I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself and worrying before I even have the info, but... that's what's happening, and I figured this might be a place to get some support or at least company along the way...
Thank you.
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