Positive attitude

[Mamabug]

...
Life is to short for everyone, so be happy, spread a smile as you pass by someone, hold the door for the next person.
I live on CA coast, I must admit since DX I appreciate the beauty in the waves and of the spring flowers popping up.
Smile that's whats contagious.
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

I love your positive attitude. Yes; happiness is a choice.

[502E79]

The way I see it X will or won't happen. You can live 2 ways. You can realize that it could happen but it hasn't happened yet, so let's get busy enjoying ourselves. Or you can be sure, regardless of all evidence, that X will *absolutely* happen to you, and since it will, you might as well be just as miserable as you *think* you will be when it does happen. Because -let's be honest here - why wait until X happens to act like a disabled person who also happens to be the most negative, unhappy person who ever had MS when you can get 123,456 responses on messages about how limited your life is before X happens? Credit given for proactivity.

There is one thing, and only one thing, that we can be sure of. Death. We are, without exception, going to die. We all know it. But do we lay on the couch, pretending we're in the casket and waiting to be put in the ground? So why the Hell act like your life is limited by MS before it is? Yeah, I'm not going to eat that chocolate cake now, because when I'm dead I won't be able to eat anything. What a waste of imagination, time, and energy.

And haven't we gone over this exact thing 123,456 times before? We aren't counselors. Even if we were counselors, this wouldn't be the forum for therapy. We're ALL in the same boat. We don't need to constantly hear how you believe we're too stupid, deluded, or whatever to be unhappy. Besides being wrong, it's insulting. Please be considerate of others. The "maybe you can be happy with this curse" statements are, frankly, awful. Telling sick people they they have been cursed is just so appalling. It's inhumane. And after they say that they aren't happy about it but are still happy, there is still no concern for other people's feelings.

Whether you have MS or not, I believe that you need counseling. Several others have suggested the same.

MMMMs,

I agree with you entirely. Especially on suggesting that professional counseling is called for after 123,456 strong, valid attempts at our help have been denied... again & again.

And related... All here are entitled to their opinion regarding any thread. Amen

Jer

[Daisycat]

The way I see it X will or won't happen. You can live 2 ways. You can realize that it could happen but it hasn't happened yet, so let's get busy enjoying ourselves. Or you can be sure, regardless of all evidence, that X will *absolutely* happen to you, and since it will, you might as well be just as miserable as you *think* you will be when it does happen. Because -let's be honest here - why wait until X happens to act like a disabled person who also happens to be the most negative, unhappy person who ever had MS when you can get 123,456 responses on messages about how limited your life is before X happens? Credit given for proactivity.

There is one thing, and only one thing, that we can be sure of. Death. We are, without exception, going to die. We all know it. But do we lay on the couch, pretending we're in the casket and waiting to be put in the ground? So why the Hell act like your life is limited by MS before it is? Yeah, I'm not going to eat that chocolate cake now, because when I'm dead I won't be able to eat anything. What a waste of imagination, time, and energy.

And haven't we gone over this exact thing 123,456 times before? We aren't counselors. Even if we were counselors, this wouldn't be the forum for therapy. We're ALL in the same boat. We don't need to constantly hear how you believe we're too stupid, deluded, or whatever to be unhappy. Besides being wrong, it's insulting. Please be considerate of others. The "maybe you can be happy with this curse" statements are, frankly, awful. Telling sick people they they have been cursed is just so appalling. It's inhumane. And after they say that they aren't happy about it but are still happy, there is still no concern for other people's feelings.

Whether you have MS or not, I believe that you need counseling. Several others have suggested the same.

The way I see it people with this disease have a MUCH higher chance of XYZ happening then the people who are normal. There is no way I am going to eat that chocolate cake since I know what eating unhealthy can do. I believe that food has a big part in this disease and how it progresses. I am not waiting until X happens since I am not going to wait around until I am unable to see and walk and think.



If other people want to see rainbows and unicorns, with this disease that is their choice. I’ll choose to see my reality. It is 100% unfair that my life and my future were ripped from me and it is hard to plan more than a few months in advance. It is unfair that I can’t ever go out with friends or coworkers since restraint food is 1000% off limits for me with this disease. It is unfair that I can never sleep in since I have to work out every day to do everything I can to prevent this disease from progressing. So yes my life is limited because of this disease since I no longer can sleep in or go out with friends or get a new pet ever again. (plus many other things)

If other people want to see this as no big deal that is fine. Everyone is welcome to see things how they want, but I am NOT going to listen to anyone tell me I am wrong for seeing my life as a waste.



To me it is insulting that you think I should get therapy to accept this curse. I will never accept this disease and I would never want to live in a world where I accepted this disease. It is humiliating to have this and I live in fear every single day that people will find out and I will have to quit my job. This disease IS a curse and I have just as much right to think that as you have to think it is rainbows and puppy dogs.




I tend to stay away from these boards since everyone here seems to get offended by someone who refuses to accept this disease and admits they are going to be miserable forever. My future was stolen from me and no matter what I do I will never get it back.

[MMMMS]

I'm very much on the bandwagon for being as positive as possible every day. Some days it's easier than others. But flatly refusing to be happy ever again is a good indication that professional assistance is needed. These boards can be helpful for peer support, but they are no replacement for good, professional, mental health care.

I can't quite figure out if your positive or angry about us who refuse to give in to bad attitude.
Trust me I have days where I could lay around all day. I refuse to melt away though. It's not we're refusing face the fact we are all going die, the day we were born we started heading back out.
I guess my attitude is until 'something' (a bus perhaps)takes me out will do my best to appreciate each day just like I did before my DX.
Life is to short for everyone, so be happy, spread a smile as you pass by someone, hold the door for the next person.
I live on CA coast, I must admit since DX I appreciate the beauty in the waves and of the spring flowers popping up.
Smile that's whats contagious.
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

[clareag]

The way I see it people with this disease have a MUCH higher chance of XYZ happening then the people who are normal. There is no way I am going to eat that chocolate cake since I know what eating unhealthy can do. I believe that food has a big part in this disease and how it progresses. I am not waiting until X happens since I am not going to wait around until I am unable to see and walk and think.



If other people want to see rainbows and unicorns, with this disease that is their choice. I’ll choose to see my reality. It is 100% unfair that my life and my future were ripped from me and it is hard to plan more than a few months in advance. It is unfair that I can’t ever go out with friends or coworkers since restraint food is 1000% off limits for me with this disease. It is unfair that I can never sleep in since I have to work out every day to do everything I can to prevent this disease from progressing. So yes my life is limited because of this disease since I no longer can sleep in or go out with friends or get a new pet ever again. (plus many other things)

If other people want to see this as no big deal that is fine. Everyone is welcome to see things how they want, but I am NOT going to listen to anyone tell me I am wrong for seeing my life as a waste.



To me it is insulting that you think I should get therapy to accept this curse. I will never accept this disease and I would never want to live in a world where I accepted this disease. It is humiliating to have this and I live in fear every single day that people will find out and I will have to quit my job. This disease IS a curse and I have just as much right to think that as you have to think it is rainbows and puppy dogs.




I tend to stay away from these boards since everyone here seems to get offended by someone who refuses to accept this disease and admits they are going to be miserable forever. My future was stolen from me and no matter what I do I will never get it back.

Instead of boo-hoo-ing and repeating your Woe is me story over and over why don't you try to help someone else. You've never once offered anyone else on this board any help. Or maybe you can go back to This is MS and repeat it all over again with them. Lots of people have sympathized with you and tried and tried to help get you over the hump but you do NOT want help. You reject it every time it's offered. Sorry, you need some tough love.

[gargantua]

The way I see it people with this disease have a MUCH higher chance of XYZ happening then the people who are normal. There is no way I am going to eat that chocolate cake since I know what eating unhealthy can do. I believe that food has a big part in this disease and how it progresses. I am not waiting until X happens since I am not going to wait around until I am unable to see and walk and think.

If other people want to see rainbows and unicorns, with this disease that is their choice. I’ll choose to see my reality. It is 100% unfair that my life and my future were ripped from me and it is hard to plan more than a few months in advance. It is unfair that I can’t ever go out with friends or coworkers since restraint food is 1000% off limits for me with this disease. It is unfair that I can never sleep in since I have to work out every day to do everything I can to prevent this disease from progressing. So yes my life is limited because of this disease since I no longer can sleep in or go out with friends or get a new pet ever again. (plus many other things)

If other people want to see this as no big deal that is fine. Everyone is welcome to see things how they want, but I am NOT going to listen to anyone tell me I am wrong for seeing my life as a waste.

To me it is insulting that you think I should get therapy to accept this curse. I will never accept this disease and I would never want to live in a world where I accepted this disease. It is humiliating to have this and I live in fear every single day that people will find out and I will have to quit my job. This disease IS a curse and I have just as much right to think that as you have to think it is rainbows and puppy dogs.

I tend to stay away from these boards since everyone here seems to get offended by someone who refuses to accept this disease and admits they are going to be miserable forever. My future was stolen from me and no matter what I do I will never get it back.

We are similar Daisycat. You and I both have pretty much invisible symptoms.

We both go about our day, able to do our practical obligations and strangers would never know we have MS.

But like you've pointed out, that doesn't mean we don't have disease activity in our brains.

With that in mind, I just want to say that by being this hard on yourself, you probably are NOT making yourself healthier. The act of changing your thinking to something more positive could be the same as your dedication to your morning workouts.

NONE of the cursed stuff you are talking about is actually happening to you. The only "reality" you are experiencing is that:

you are mad that you won't go out with friends because you don't want to explain why you don't eat certain things, when in fact people out with friends don't eat or drink certain things all the time for many other reasons than MS;

you are mad that of everything you are able to eat, you must deny yourself chocolate cake, even though there are a lot of healthier chocolate cake options in the world that you could have (in moderation);

you are mad about being able to get up in the morning and work out, like millions of other people who are managing chronic conditions do every day;

you are mad that you have a great job that you love - never mind that it would be illegal for them to fire you if you told them you have MS.

The only true pattern here is that you are legitimately mad. And everyone looking at the "Positive Attitude" threads - including people who can't go out with friends, can't eat, can't work out, and can't work - is again on Mad Boulevard. But it's a process.

There was a study of women with breast cancer back in the 70s or 80s when there weren't as many effective treatments and many more were dying than now, that said the ones who were really angry actually had the highest rate of survival. My mother died of breast cancer when I was a teen. She'd worked hard on acceptance for a decade, with food regimens, going to gurus, taking "EST," practicing meditation and all sorts of stuff. So at 14, I too thought acceptance was bull poop when she died. But now I know acceptance helped our family through the process of losing her.

[pennstater]

Same old, same old.

Daisycat - yes you have the right to choose to live a miserable life, just as others have the right to choose happiness and to live the best life they can, adapting if need be.

Once again, please tell me who told you your life was over? Who told you that you will be unable to see, walk, and think? Who said you can't plan? Who said this disease is humiliating? The only one saying these things are you and you alone.

Anger has a place in the stages of grief. But stick in any one stage too long with no motivation to come out in a healthier, happy place, and you set yourself up for an unhappy life.

I am curious, what do you hope to get out of these posts?

[MMMMS]

FWIW, and it's really not that important 🙂, the chocolate cake reference really wasn't about food choices. It was about lying on a couch as if you're dead and choosing not to enjoy anything, because someday you will be dead for real. Chocolate cake is just one of the things that I think make living very enjoyable. 🍰

[Daisycat]

Clareg
I posted on this right after my diagnosis but have not been back. Those people are even more cheerful about this curse than the people here. As for offering advice if it is something I can be positive about I will post on it. I posted very recently on Ants post about his job search. I offered him advice/opinions and encouraged him. If it something I know nothing about or related to the bad side effects of this curse I am going to be negative.

Again I will GLADLY post my opinon on every single thread if you want. Then you will see why I don’t post on most threads. As for getting over the “hump”… that is Not an option. The acceptance that my life is a waste and I will live in denial for as long as possible is the only choice I have. I will never be someone who happy to be alive with this disease. My life was stolen from me and it baffles me that anyone can accept that.


Gargantua


I cannot think positive about this disease. My future was stolen from me and I will never be anything that I had wanted. The curse stuff I am talking about can happen at any second of any day and if I dob’t distract myself it’s all I think about. As for going out with friends I can’t eat ANYTHING at restraints. I am going to have a miserable time watching everyone else laugh and have fun and talk about their future when I don’t have one. It is hard to explain why I went from being able to eat normally to not eating hardly anything so it is easier to avoid it.
Chocolate cake is just one of 100s of things I can’t eat anymore. It was just an example , but I pretty much hate eating now since everything I used to enjoy can increase disease activity. I would also like to sleep in on occasion. Some nights I don’t sleep that much, but I no longer have the option to sleep in. I have to get up every day to help prevent this disease from “killing” me.



As for my job… I work with living creatures. It would be foolish of them to knowingly let someone with my condition to be trusted as much as I am. If I accidently harmed a patient and it came out that I had this…. The lawsuit would be massive.



You are right that I am mad. I am furious that I have lost everything and everyone. I have nothing left in my life. All because of a disease I did not ask for and did nothing to deserve. I know there is no higher power in this world and its all just random chance what happens, but I still think it is unfair.

Pennstater




My life is going to be miserable no matter what. I have no future. As for who told me my life is over I did. I know what this disease does and THAT is not a life. So I am basically waiting around to become blind, crippled, deaf , etc. Anyone who says that is a life is strange to me. This disease is humiliating… how can it be anything else? People are going to look at you like they are surprised you are able to walk and are always double checking everything you do since this disease causes cognitive issues.


As for these posts I do not start them… but I am not going to sut around when someone vaguely mentions the negative poster.

[gargantua]

Gargantua

I cannot think positive about this disease. My future was stolen from me and I will never be anything that I had wanted. The curse stuff I am talking about can happen at any second of any day and if I dob’t distract myself it’s all I think about. As for going out with friends I can’t eat ANYTHING at restraints. I am going to have a miserable time watching everyone else laugh and have fun and talk about their future when I don’t have one. It is hard to explain why I went from being able to eat normally to not eating hardly anything so it is easier to avoid it.
Chocolate cake is just one of 100s of things I can’t eat anymore. It was just an example , but I pretty much hate eating now since everything I used to enjoy can increase disease activity. I would also like to sleep in on occasion. Some nights I don’t sleep that much, but I no longer have the option to sleep in. I have to get up every day to help prevent this disease from “killing” me.

But you don't have to feel bad about MS while working so hard to kick its butt. Every day you get up and go to work is a day to be thankful for. You are choosing to live based on the following misinformation.

1. You have a future.
2. Most people don't have the option to sleep in, for various reasons of personal responsibility.
3. It is your choice to not laugh with your friends and celebrate their accomplishments with them.

I want to thank you - I have been having a lot of trouble with #3, but now I'm riled up and am going to kick its butt

[marti]

FWIW, and it's really not that important 🙂, the chocolate cake reference really wasn't about food choices. It was about lying on a couch as if you're dead and choosing not to enjoy anything, because someday you will be dead for real. Chocolate cake is just one of the things that I think make living very enjoyable. 🍰

Thank you for clearing up the issue of food (chocolate cake). I thought maybe Daisy was told to restrict her diet. As far as I know there is no diet that will cure or slow MS. I'm beginning to think she might have gotten some bad information upon diagnosis. I understand about denial, depression and fear when we are first told we have MS. But I've never heard anyone so determined to wither up and die. She seems to have a timeline in mind. I know people who are PPMS who have better outlooks. This is so frustrating because we all wanted to help her and answer her questions but she wants none of it. I honestly don't know what she wants from us. And I really believe all this negativity is not good for the rest of us.

[marti]

I'd like to encourage everyone to watch the video on the Home Page... "People Helping People".

[gargantua]

But you don't have to feel bad about MS while working so hard to kick its butt. Every day you get up and go to work is a day to be thankful for. You are choosing to live based on the following misinformation.

1. Insisting you don't have a future because of MS. Countless folks here indicate that is not so.
2. Most people don't have the option to sleep in, for various reasons of personal responsibility.
3. It is your choice to not laugh with your friends and celebrate their accomplishments with them.

I want to thank you - I have been having a lot of trouble with #3, but now I'm riled up and am going to kick its butt

Typo on #1 fixed

[Seasha]

I'd like to encourage everyone to watch the video on the Home Page... "People Helping People".

Thank you Marti, for encouraging others to view this "Patients helping Patients" video. It's a great reminder why we are here for each other! And it reminds us that having a positive attitude creates ripples of positivity towards others and ourselves.

Ripples~~ I've always loved the analogy of dropping a pebble in the middle of a pool of water in a bowl- watching the waves of ripples extend to the edge and then returning back to the middle.

So too ripples of friendship, of positivity, of love go out to others and return back to ourselves.

[Jules A]

But you don't have to feel bad about MS while working so hard to kick its butt. Every day you get up and go to work is a day to be thankful for. You are choosing to live based on the following misinformation.

1. You have a future.
2. Most people don't have the option to sleep in, for various reasons of personal responsibility.
3. It is your choice to not laugh with your friends and celebrate their accomplishments with them.

I want to thank you - I have been having a lot of trouble with #3, but now I'm riled up and am going to kick its butt

Gargantua, I was going to quote and agree with your previous post and then read this, I like your style!