The reason I know it's paranoia is bc I can imagine the responses of people when I bring my concerns to them. But it feels real. How can thoughts have feelings. But I try to rationalize out the pros and cons of the arguments for and against believing I'm right as well as the pros and cons of believing the validity of such thoughts and it's so much easier to believe that people are trying to drive me crazy by causing small but unexplainable things to happen.
Just one of 5 things that have happened today: I leave the room and when I come back the tv has changed to channel 11. You can't do that by sitting on the remote because you'd have to sit on it then get up then sit on it again, not to mention the fact that my bum wouldn't depress just one button. And it was next to me not under me. I know it's so dumb but you add up all these unexplainable events and it's hard to not be ruffled. I feel like I'm being bullied.
Either way it's like chinese water torture and one day I'm gonna have enough of this bs. I go from depression to unhinged. Where's the delirious mania? I don't think this is bipolar I don't know what it is but I hate it I'm sooo sick of it.
I'm just venting there's nothing to say bc I know all the rational arguments I'm just so unnerved and frankly it's very frightening and I can't get mad bc there's no one to get mad at.
Just one of 5 things that have happened today: I leave the room and when I come back the tv has changed to channel 11. You can't do that by sitting on the remote because you'd have to sit on it then get up then sit on it again, not to mention the fact that my bum wouldn't depress just one button. And it was next to me not under me. I know it's so dumb but you add up all these unexplainable events and it's hard to not be ruffled. I feel like I'm being bullied.
Either way it's like chinese water torture and one day I'm gonna have enough of this bs. I go from depression to unhinged. Where's the delirious mania? I don't think this is bipolar I don't know what it is but I hate it I'm sooo sick of it.
I'm just venting there's nothing to say bc I know all the rational arguments I'm just so unnerved and frankly it's very frightening and I can't get mad bc there's no one to get mad at.
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