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I don't usually think this way...

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    I don't usually think this way...

    I was at a birthday party yesterday for my grandson. It was just family. My son in law's nephew was there and asked me a question that kind of threw me. He looked right at me and asked if I was travelling yet. I had to think about this for a minute because I couldn't figure out why he would think I would be travelling.

    I guess he was thinking of other widows he knows who started a life of adventures. And he probably didn't think about the MS and how it impacts lives. It didn't make me mad, just kind of surprised me that a grown man would be a little bit insensitive.

    I wake up every day just wondering which appointment I would have to cancel that day or if I would be able to get dressed and get off the couch. My own son thinks I should be more active and I agree. But... well, you know how that can be. Best intentions and all that. One minute you're feeling fairly good and 5 minutes later you are so exhausted you can't imagine doing anything that day.

    I know a lot of people are not tuned in to MS and I don't let that bother me. But this question rattled me and almost made me feel guilty about being so lethargic and in so much pain. This guy has a MS patient in his family somewhere. Maybe he was just trying to make conversation. It's always a little awkward in a room with people you don't know that well. I'm kind of uncomfortable in a crowd.

    So are people expecting too much from me or am I not expecting enough? And honestly, in the last 20 months I've become somewhat secluded and am "enjoying" my quiet life.

    Thanks for letting me rattle on. Guess I needed this today.
    Marti




    The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

    #2
    Yeah; perhaps he was just trying to make conversation. It's best to give him the benefit of a doubt.

    But, you're right. It was somewhat insensitive, even if you didn't have MS. Everyone grieves at their own pace. Traveling and having adventures would also happen at different times for different people, following the loss of a spouse.

    He likely meant well. Maybe just didn't think through his question prior to asking it.
    ~ Faith
    MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
    (now a Mimibug)

    Symptoms began in JAN02
    - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
    - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
    .

    - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
    - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

    Comment


      #3
      So sorry, Marti

      People just don't understand how much MS drains you both mentally and physically. Experiences a loss like yours would affect anyone, MS or not. Do what feels right for you. Take good care of yourself. Sending you some positive vibes.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by kittysmith View Post
        People just don't understand how much MS drains you both mentally and physically. Experiences a loss like yours would affect anyone, MS or not. Do what feels right for you. Take good care of yourself. Sending you some positive vibes.


        Thank you Kitty. I try not to read too much into things people say, but this one kind of hit me somewhere deep. I don't like travelling... did too much of that when I worked and I never liked it back then either. Now it's nearly impossible. Just drains me dry.
        Marti




        The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Mamabug View Post
          Yeah; perhaps he was just trying to make conversation. It's best to give him the benefit of a doubt.

          But, you're right. It was somewhat insensitive, even if you didn't have MS. Everyone grieves at their own pace. Traveling and having adventures would also happen at different times for different people, following the loss of a spouse.

          He likely meant well. Maybe just didn't think through his question prior to asking it.


          He was probably just as uncomfortable as I was... he's a lot younger, no real issues in his life yet. I just didn't know people expected me to be out there, active and running. That's just not me. Thanks Mama!!
          Marti




          The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by marti View Post

            I just didn't know people expected me to be out there, active and running.
            Lol. He's probably watched too many Carnival Cruise commercials. 😀
            ~ Faith
            MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
            (now a Mimibug)

            Symptoms began in JAN02
            - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
            - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
            .

            - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
            - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Mamabug View Post
              Lol. He's probably watched too many Carnival Cruise commercials. 😀
              Lol!:
              Tawanda
              ___________________________________________
              Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 2004; First sign of trouble: 1994

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