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    Just need to vent

    It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing major; just a lot of little irritants piled on top of each other. After talking it over with the Bank of Mom, I quit my job and gave my car to my son. They’re alternating taking me where I need to go.

    Anyway, we’ve been on the run constantly with various doctors’ appointments. They're still running tests on me, and my last CBC had several red flags. Mum and I both wound up with colds that turned into a mild flu, then she tripped over my dog and strained her knee. I’ve been worn out for days and struggling to function. My cognition has been far below normal, and I’ve been having trouble with verbal communication.

    My daughter and her roommate had offered to clean my floors before Thanksgiving, and they Skyped me at midnight to say that they were coming today AND needed gas money. Did I mention the part where I quit my job 2 weeks ago and am beyond broke? Of course I didn’t get this message until this morning.

    I had the brilliant idea yesterday to use our local big box store’s grocery pickup program. Son lives nearby, while I’m almost 30 minutes away. I thought it would be an easy way to get groceries without running him all over the country or wearing myself out. They messed the order up so badly that we had to go back today to get the missing items and the numerous ones that were “out of stock” yesterday.

    Today is also the day that Son was taking me to pick up my CPAP. My doctor had told me that the supplier would bring it to my house and set it up for me, so it was a bit of a shock to set the appointment and then learn that I had to go to their warehouse and get it myself.

    So, Mum offered to come over and entertain the dog while the girls worked. All they were supposed to do was sweep and mop the floors and carry a couple heavy boxes downstairs. When I finally got home several hours later, I didn’t recognize the place.

    I do appreciate the effort they put into it, but it’s going to take me days to reorganize my cupboards so that I can find and reach the foods I use. They took every food item they could find and just stuffed them behind closed doors “so the kitchen looks neater”. I found chips wedged on top of my dinner plates, and I'm going to have to crawl around on the floor to find the canned goods I got yesterday.

    I had a box of newspaper to use as back-up pee pads for the dog, as well as starting the woodstove in the cellar if the power goes out. They threw it all away. I don’t read the newspaper, so it’s going to take forever to build that supply back up. I’m also nearly out of real pee pads, and I can’t afford to buy more right now.

    My stack of dirty clothes was mixed in with the clean ones I hadn’t put away, so I now have double the laundry to do this week. I also found several of my good blankets on the cellar floor where it floods after every rain. Add 2 more loads of laundry.

    The paint cans that I need to use upstairs were moved into the cellar, so if I have a day when I feel good enough to paint for a bit, I’m going to have to tackle 2 flights of stairs twice to do it. My paid bills have been mixed with the unpaid ones, and I found my checkbook in a skillet. The random medical notes I wrote on the backs of envelopes have disappeared.

    The icing on the cake was that they moved my furniture around. I have spent years now learning the best way to arrange things so that I have something to hang onto when I walk, and they completely eliminated that so I "won’t hit something" if I fall. I asked them to put it all back.

    I tried explaining why things had been placed the way they were, but now Mum and Daughter are mad at me. I’ve hurt their feelings when they were trying to help, and I don’t know whether to sit down and cry or jump up and pound on something.

    #2
    I'm sure their intentions were good but it seems like they set you back a good bit. If there is a next time make sure you are around to supervise. Hope you get everything back in its correct place soon.
    The future depends on what you do today.- Gandhi

    Comment


      #3
      Hi NoraS

      Hopefully things have settled down a bit for you.

      Originally posted by Boudreaux View Post
      I'm sure their intentions were good but it seems like they set you back a good bit. If there is a next time make sure you are around to supervise. Hope you get everything back in its correct place soon.
      I'm thinking the same as Boudreaux.

      My sister has been my main care helper for quite awhile now, and she is pretty much 'well trained'!

      I used to feel like I was being demanding, or bossy, when telling her how to arrange various items in my apartment. I explained why things have to be just so, in order for me to get along by myself and perform tasks safely.

      Thankfully she understands, but I still feel like I'm being bossy when I tell her to do something a certain way. She now knows that if things aren't within my reach, or placed a certain way, etc. then I may have to call her or my brother-in-law to come over to get me out of a 'predicament', as we call it.

      They know that I try to be as independent as is possible, and that I really don't like to call and bother them for help, especially when the 'predicament' could have been easily avoided in the first place.

      Take Care
      PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
      ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

      Comment


        #4
        I've calmed down a bit, and the house IS cleaner than it was! The dog's having a field day getting into new things, so I'm keeping close tabs on him right now.

        A large part of my frustration is just that I haven't really adapted to the diagnosis yet. Thinking it for years is not remotely close to having it confirmed. I'm unemployed for the first time in 35 years (after being the primary or sole wage earner for nearly all of those years), I've given up my car, and there just hasn't been enough downtime to take it all in.

        I moved into my dream house last year, and this is the first time since age 22 that I've been alone. I'm able to decorate and arrange things to suit no one but myself. Needless to say, being invaded by 3 other women who think they have my best interests at heart was a disaster waiting to happen. And being alone has taken on new meaning now that I'm increasingly needing outside help.

        My daughter's still hurt, because she drove 2 hours to help me, but Mum apologized and recognizes that my needs are much different than hers right now and that the things that irritate her are necessities for me.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by NoraS View Post
          A large part of my frustration is just that I haven't really adapted to the diagnosis yet. Thinking it for years is not remotely close to having it confirmed. I'm unemployed for the first time in 35 years (after being the primary or sole wage earner for nearly all of those years), I've given up my car, and there just hasn't been enough downtime to take it all in.

          I moved into my dream house last year, and this is the first time since age 22 that I've been alone. I'm able to decorate and arrange things to suit no one but myself. Needless to say, being invaded by 3 other women who think they have my best interests at heart was a disaster waiting to happen. And being alone has taken on new meaning now that I'm increasingly needing outside help.
          NoraS ~

          It looks like you're dealing with quite a few adjustments in your life, both emotional and physical.

          Take good care of yourself as you get acclimated to the changes.
          PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
          ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

          Comment


            #6
            OH MY! Problems coming at you left and right will certainly take a toil on you. Glad you have calmed down a little. Two Blessings jump out at me, your house was clean and you moved into your dream home.

            Glad your Mum understands and hopefully your daughter will soon and I hope your days are brighter.
            God Bless Us All

            Comment


              #7
              Oh, Nora. So many changes to adapt to at once.

              Writing things down and making lists helps me. I'm not sure if there are any "lists" that could help you out of this challenge. But, perhaps even labeling cupboards by taping lists of what belongs where could help you out next time.
              ~ Faith
              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
              (now a Mimibug)

              Symptoms began in JAN02
              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
              .

              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

              Comment

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