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    My first walker

    I’m looking at buying a walker for myself and looking at them online is giving me anxiety. I feel so overwhelmed and like I can’t think.

    A friend of mine lent me her 2 walkers to try and I’ve had them for about a month and a half. They help when I have to walk a lot, otherwise for short distances I use my cane.

    I would like to get my own and give hers back but it’s hard to take that step. I think it’s a mind thing. Hard to accept that I’m at this stage.

    Took me so long to get used to using a cane and all the stares that come with it. I’m only 38 and people I guess are confused to see someone my age using it or the walker.

    I know I shouldn’t care what other people think but I think it’s because mentally, for me, it symbolizes the progression of my disease. It’s not just borrowed anymore, it’s permanent.

    Being diagnosed as RRMS in 2005 gave me the delusion that I would have some symptoms for a bit then bounce back to normal after a time.

    Since 2012 it’s been a steady loss of strength and control in my left leg. It never got better. Only worse. Lately it feels like it’s gotten even worse just in the last couple of months.

    Just felt like I needed to vent in a safe place with my fellow MSers. Having MS is exhausting and I’m sick of it frankly.

    thanks for listening!! ❤️
    DX 2005 RRMS. Did 2nd round of Lemtrada Jan 2018. DX SPMS 2019

    #2
    Originally posted by Starla View Post
    I’m looking at buying a walker for myself and looking at them online is giving me anxiety. I feel so overwhelmed and like I can’t think.

    A friend of mine lent me her 2 walkers to try and I’ve had them for about a month and a half. They help when I have to walk a lot, otherwise for short distances I use my cane.

    I would like to get my own and give hers back but it’s hard to take that step. I think it’s a mind thing. Hard to accept that I’m at this stage.

    Took me so long to get used to using a cane and all the stares that come with it. I’m only 38 and people I guess are confused to see someone my age using it or the walker.

    I know I shouldn’t care what other people think but I think it’s because mentally, for me, it symbolizes the progression of my disease. It’s not just borrowed anymore, it’s permanent.

    Being diagnosed as RRMS in 2005 gave me the delusion that I would have some symptoms for a bit then bounce back to normal after a time.

    Since 2012 it’s been a steady loss of strength and control in my left leg. It never got better. Only worse. Lately it feels like it’s gotten even worse just in the last couple of months.

    Just felt like I needed to vent in a safe place with my fellow MSers. Having MS is exhausting and I’m sick of it frankly.

    thanks for listening!! ❤️
    Hi Starla

    Thanks for being comfortable enough to share with your fellow MSers here.

    So many of us are either currently going through, or have already gone through, the process of accepting and dealing with similar challenges.

    When I first got my 4-wheel rollator walker, and was able to walk much better and farther than I had in a long time, I was actually elated to be able to do so. I walked daily outside around my apartment complex, weather permitting, for several years.

    It has helped me tremendously to stay up on my feet and move around, to this day. I am able to transport items on the firm seat, so I don't have to worry about a free hand to carry things.

    I don't care what others may think. I have had positive experiences with other people being kind and helpful, for the most part.

    In any case, good luck on your new purchase, and hope that it is as beneficial to you as it has been for me.

    Take Care
    PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
    ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

    Comment


      #3
      Thanks

      Originally posted by KoKo View Post
      Hi Starla

      Thanks for being comfortable enough to share with your fellow MSers here.

      So many of us are either currently going through, or have already gone through, the process of accepting and dealing with similar challenges.

      When I first got my 4-wheel rollator walker, and was able to walk much better and farther than I had in a long time, I was actually elated to be able to do so. I walked daily outside around my apartment complex, weather permitting, for several years.

      It has helped me tremendously to stay up on my feet and move around, to this day. I am able to transport items on the firm seat, so I don't have to worry about a free hand to carry things.

      I don't care what others may think. I have had positive experiences with other people being kind and helpful, for the most part.

      In any case, good luck on your new purchase, and hope that it is as beneficial to you as it has been for me.

      Take Care
      thanks so much for your reply. It helps to know I’m not alone. I had similar feelings when using the borrowed walkers. I could actually get around and sit when I needed to.

      I had more energy and could walk around the fair grounds with my kids. I just need to focus on those positives I think.

      Im getting caught up in the feeling of defeat at the moment. I’ll probably feel better once I just order the thing.
      DX 2005 RRMS. Did 2nd round of Lemtrada Jan 2018. DX SPMS 2019

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Starla View Post
        thanks so much for your reply. It helps to know I’m not alone. I had similar feelings when using the borrowed walkers. I could actually get around and sit when I needed to.

        I had more energy and could walk around the fair grounds with my kids. I just need to focus on those positives I think.

        Im getting caught up in the feeling of defeat at the moment. I’ll probably feel better once I just order the thing.
        Starla

        Most of us can understand that 'feeling of defeat' too.

        This whole dealing with MS thing (mentally and emotionally) is truly a process that we go through.

        You are young, with children, which makes it even more difficult.

        Hope you continue to share with us, if it helps you to get through the rough stuff.

        Let us know which type of walker you purchase, and how you do with it.

        Wishing you the best.

        Take Care
        PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
        ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

        Comment


          #5
          Hi Starla,

          I am not at that point, but can totally understand your feelings. Even older people have the same thoughts sometimes on using them.

          My Mom missed out on a lot by not using one. Once she finally started to regularly use one, she was sorry she fought it. She was able to get out more with family and friends and enjoy herself.

          So I think you were on the right track about focusing on the positives. Easier said than done sometimes. Maybe rather than seeing it as a defeat, if you can see it as choice that lets you get more out of life and is giving you some control over MS.

          I hope my thoughts didn't offend you. I know I would have the same struggles. Just watching my mom, I always told myself that I wouldn't fight it and would tell myself what I wrote above when the time comes. Just thought I would share in the event it helps any.

          Lots of luck.
          Kathy
          DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

          Comment


            #6
            I'm glad that you finally took the leap, Starla.

            I remember at a time a few years back when I was going through physical therapy. I was using a cane at the time. My PT noticed how my walking, my posture, and the speed of walking was impeded with the cane. He videotaped me using the cane and also a walker there at the facility.

            Wow! what a difference! I was sold immediately and went right away to buy a walker

            I was also very self conscious using it in public. My first venture out was going to a busy farmer's market and I was nervous. But, I was amazed at how people gave me a clear path to navigate though. I likened it to Moses parting the Red Sea - lol. And nobody stared. lol

            Please try not to feel defeated. Use this opportunity to feel liberated and empowered
            1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
            Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Starla View Post
              I’m looking at buying a walker for myself and looking at them online is giving me anxiety. I feel so overwhelmed and like I can’t think.

              ... I think it’s a mind thing. Hard to accept that I’m at this stage.

              Took me so long to get used to using a cane and all the stares that come with it. I’m only 38 and people I guess are confused to see someone my age using it or the walker.
              I started using a cane when I leave the house about 18 months ago. I'm 57, a little older than you are. I wondered if I'd feel the way that you do.

              But I just don't. I appreciate the help that it gives me with balance, I am glad that it is easier to go down sidewalk curbs, down slopes and walk on uneven ground, and I am especially appreciative (and somewhat surprised) at the extra courtesy I experience from not only friends, but acquaintances and strangers. People hold doors for me, let me go before them sometimes, etc.

              If I receive confused stares, I don't notice them or mind. MS is just my life, and my cane is a tool that makes it easier for me to navigate. When I progress to a walker, I expect I'll feel the same way. Although there will also be a part of me that grieves that I am less mobile, I don't expect that I'll worry or care about what others think.
              ~ Faith
              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
              (now a Mimibug)

              Symptoms began in JAN02
              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
              .

              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

              Comment


                #8
                I still remember dreading how my friends and others would look at me if a used a walking aide; however, looking back, I wish I had made the move sooner. I took several bad falls that would have been prevented.

                I moved right past the cane stage. I've been using a couple different rollators for the past 5 years. I had actually purchased a three wheeler in anticipation of needing it in the near future. Then I woke up one morning with severe knee pain and the inability to walk without assistance. I finally decided my version of MS affected the walking dynamics of my right leg which affected my right knee allowing the development of osteoarthritis. Onward and upward.

                As my MS progressed, the three wheeler no longer cut it out in the "real world". I now have two I use in my house: one upstairs and one down. Since I live in the country, I purchased a rugged 4-wheeled rollator that I absolutely love. It's a trifle heavy, but I work to maintain my upper body strength.

                With my heavy duty rollator, I've learned the true value of physics and simple machines. I've used it as a lever, pulley, fulcrum, and of course wheels. I've found some great light weight bags on Amazon, and I'm able to shop at the grocery store that helps me maintain my independence
                I've found people accept me for who I am, and respect me for my willingness to accept the challenge of MS. I was respectful of handicapped before I joined their ranks, and am thankful for those who are willing to help me now. Onward and upward...there's no going back...

                I say do whatever you need to do to make your life with MS work for you. Yeah, it's the pits, but we can only move forward.

                Comment

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