First let me say I am grateful that I have as good of health as I do cause dh just had a stroke about 10 days ago that was stressful for both as he fell upstairs at other end of house and was tossing stuff downstairs trying to get my attention to help him stand as our dog was of no help at all. FYI: direct to VA ER and several days later out no permanent issues thank goodness however have to go slow.....
Great great great thoughtful, caring, emotionally available, funny and loving hubby that gets I can no longer do what I once did with the MS and other health issues however, his one issue is procrastation and now more of a being careful to slide back into regular activities.
Was never an issue 30 yrs ago cause I could just jump in and take up the slack. Now, I am trying to face the fact that I can't. I don't mind however, my body does!!! I have lots to do to clean my house and yard to do what I have heard called the (I think this is correct) the Swedish Death cleaning lol Meaning I want to ditch all the "stuff" I have aquired over 71 yrs on this planet and do some painting and some remodeling!! Don't want much do I?? he he Yes on limited do it yourself budget as I was my fathers only son (note female here) insert laugh.
Here is the riddle... I have the following issuses: MS with symptoms such as HEAT PROBLEMS, chest pains, fatigue, numbness tingles and burning in my arms with what I refer to as pizza arms cause it feels like in pizza oven tonight, migraines, pain in back HUGE issues due to 5 spine sugeries due to have nerves burnt again in month (which does help some with pain meds and tens unit), chronic insomina due in part to childhood abuse issues & yes I have had therapy and worked through that, high bp, high cholestral, and others to numerous to list. I am on meds for items that require and have had therapy both physical and emotional when needed.
That is the problem...... sometimes I can only stand long enough to walk to the kitchen and/or laundry to put in the clothes. No w(h)ine as I don't have enough cheese and crackers to provide to all of you that choose to respond just saying.
Example: yesterday trimmed shrubs in front yard abt10-12 (yes on ground still out there to be raked up) after cleaning out under sink and polishing cabinets fronts & stainless bottom of fridge (couldn't stand lol),oven & dishwasher around the kitchen except I did not finish all only abt 1/2 and still have upper (there in lies an issue).
Problem: I am willing to admit I can't do what I once did due to age and health issues however it really sincerely ticks me off to the inth degree. I do NOT have a pity party it just makes me MAD MAD MAD that I'm not able. Plus the fact I can't afford to hire someone but would not be satisfied probably even if I could cause I prefer to do myself. Can you say stubborn?? lol
I am totally aware of feeling like a failure. Yes I know I am not that but I "feel" that. So how do I stop those feelings * INSERT ANSWERS HERE * Your help is needed as I can't afford nor want to go to therapy and you guys do have experience in these issues I imagine.
Note: I am grateful that I have a dh that is loving and caring plus understanding of MS & other issues and even tells me not to worry about lack of ability to DO ALL I once did and is NOT in anyway on my case or I would ditch him in a NY minute just saying. I am also grateful I do not have many of the what I consider much worse physical problems.
So what do I tell myself to get over myself?? I seriously want to get over this issue and become a more productive person a try to give back to my community however currently I don't know how to do this. Answers anyone???? Feedback welcome
Also, rough day tomorrow Mothers Day. BTW for some reason unknown to myself and hubby. Both daughters do not speak nor allow me to see grandchildren since 2004. Oldest did talk to me for over yr (while not talking to her sister/for yr and I do know why but don't agree) then took her to Savannah as surprise birthday with two women that I was allowing to stay at my house for free.
However, she got mad for ????? and rented car leaving me to think they had been kidnapped or WHAT?? except I saw them drive off. And were they expecting to come back to my house while leaving me there alone (I had provided my car and gas). FYI Stress through me into MS flare and could not walk thus dh had to ride a bus cause no flights overnight to drive me home. If I could have walked I could have driven. BEEN to therapy re this. They have no answers nor can help regarding how I * just get over this emotional pain*!!!
Everyone is entitled to have their own opinion however I cannot fix what I don't know about now can I? I obviously will have to respect their decision however I don't have to like it and mostly cause I don't know WHY or WHAT I have done!!!!!!
\VENT OVER........... insert advice here Thanks for any input Whew much cheaper than therapy
Great great great thoughtful, caring, emotionally available, funny and loving hubby that gets I can no longer do what I once did with the MS and other health issues however, his one issue is procrastation and now more of a being careful to slide back into regular activities.
Was never an issue 30 yrs ago cause I could just jump in and take up the slack. Now, I am trying to face the fact that I can't. I don't mind however, my body does!!! I have lots to do to clean my house and yard to do what I have heard called the (I think this is correct) the Swedish Death cleaning lol Meaning I want to ditch all the "stuff" I have aquired over 71 yrs on this planet and do some painting and some remodeling!! Don't want much do I?? he he Yes on limited do it yourself budget as I was my fathers only son (note female here) insert laugh.
Here is the riddle... I have the following issuses: MS with symptoms such as HEAT PROBLEMS, chest pains, fatigue, numbness tingles and burning in my arms with what I refer to as pizza arms cause it feels like in pizza oven tonight, migraines, pain in back HUGE issues due to 5 spine sugeries due to have nerves burnt again in month (which does help some with pain meds and tens unit), chronic insomina due in part to childhood abuse issues & yes I have had therapy and worked through that, high bp, high cholestral, and others to numerous to list. I am on meds for items that require and have had therapy both physical and emotional when needed.
That is the problem...... sometimes I can only stand long enough to walk to the kitchen and/or laundry to put in the clothes. No w(h)ine as I don't have enough cheese and crackers to provide to all of you that choose to respond just saying.
Example: yesterday trimmed shrubs in front yard abt10-12 (yes on ground still out there to be raked up) after cleaning out under sink and polishing cabinets fronts & stainless bottom of fridge (couldn't stand lol),oven & dishwasher around the kitchen except I did not finish all only abt 1/2 and still have upper (there in lies an issue).
Problem: I am willing to admit I can't do what I once did due to age and health issues however it really sincerely ticks me off to the inth degree. I do NOT have a pity party it just makes me MAD MAD MAD that I'm not able. Plus the fact I can't afford to hire someone but would not be satisfied probably even if I could cause I prefer to do myself. Can you say stubborn?? lol
I am totally aware of feeling like a failure. Yes I know I am not that but I "feel" that. So how do I stop those feelings * INSERT ANSWERS HERE * Your help is needed as I can't afford nor want to go to therapy and you guys do have experience in these issues I imagine.
Note: I am grateful that I have a dh that is loving and caring plus understanding of MS & other issues and even tells me not to worry about lack of ability to DO ALL I once did and is NOT in anyway on my case or I would ditch him in a NY minute just saying. I am also grateful I do not have many of the what I consider much worse physical problems.
So what do I tell myself to get over myself?? I seriously want to get over this issue and become a more productive person a try to give back to my community however currently I don't know how to do this. Answers anyone???? Feedback welcome
Also, rough day tomorrow Mothers Day. BTW for some reason unknown to myself and hubby. Both daughters do not speak nor allow me to see grandchildren since 2004. Oldest did talk to me for over yr (while not talking to her sister/for yr and I do know why but don't agree) then took her to Savannah as surprise birthday with two women that I was allowing to stay at my house for free.
However, she got mad for ????? and rented car leaving me to think they had been kidnapped or WHAT?? except I saw them drive off. And were they expecting to come back to my house while leaving me there alone (I had provided my car and gas). FYI Stress through me into MS flare and could not walk thus dh had to ride a bus cause no flights overnight to drive me home. If I could have walked I could have driven. BEEN to therapy re this. They have no answers nor can help regarding how I * just get over this emotional pain*!!!
Everyone is entitled to have their own opinion however I cannot fix what I don't know about now can I? I obviously will have to respect their decision however I don't have to like it and mostly cause I don't know WHY or WHAT I have done!!!!!!
\VENT OVER........... insert advice here Thanks for any input Whew much cheaper than therapy
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