For most people here

[Daisycat]

Since the other thread was closed.

MMMS

If you want to stay alive when you become a blind cripple who can’t even remember your own name. GO FOR IT. I respect myself way to much to do that. I also do not assume every single thing that happens is because of my rotted brain. I know that sometimes a tingle in my leg is just a tingle in my leg. I am NOT going to blame every single thing on this curse.

Marti

The day I was diagnosed I was told I would be in a wheelchair in probably 10 years and left alone in the hospital room. No one ever answered any question I had. I was just told to expect all these bad things to happen and that everyone with this disease eventually loses their independence. I have never once had a DR really listen, and I have given up trying since all we are is money to them.

I need a place to vent and NOT be told I am wrong. Yes I am angry. I am angry that my life is over, I am angry that I am going to leave my bf because he deserves better , I am angry that I have to starve myself since 99% of food causes this disease to progress , I am angry that I live in fear every day of losing my co pay assistance because our leadership in this country wants people like me dead , I am angry that I have nothing to look forward too. Having to be busy every second of every day is exhausting but without it I would probably have already been on a plane. I am humiliated by this curse so I have no one to talk to and a board with people who have this can’t even understand my anger and depression.
And yes I am focusing on tattoos and concerts because I have bands I want to see before I die and the pain of the tattoo is therapeutic.

I am not going to EVER be happy with this disease and I do not CARE AT ALL if people here have a problem with that. If I need to vent I will and you can ignore it or post whatever but you will not change my mind. My life is over and I would give anything if I had not been born. If there was a god he wouldn’t have let someone like me exist in the first place.

And on I am not trolling. I am miserable and will never understand how anyone with brain rot can actually be happy. BUT if everyone here is so fragile (again except for a few people) stay the heck out of anything I start. VERY simple logic. I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH THIS DISEASE…. So with that said you know what my posts will be like so avoid them if you do not like them.

again this is not about everyone... there are 5 or so people that are great but everyone else seems to think we should jump for joy and shout from the roof tops that we have this. I guess people have to get attention in their real life however they can...

[pennstater]

I am guessing most understand your resentment and rage, but don't understand your unwillingness to want to move past it. I personally don't understand why you would choose to live the rest of your days that way. I remember the dark days of depression, anxiety, anger.

I am sorry that someone told you on diagnosis day you would be in a wheelchair in 10 years. That is not a normal and very traumatic. They obviously were not an MS specialist. But many people here have tried to point you in a direction that contradicts this. You don't want to read or even research statistics in your favor. You appear to only want to believe the worst. Why is that?

Anxiety can get the best of us in dealing with the unknown. I hope you can move past it so you can start to have more joy in life. I agree the way you are feeling is very painful day to day. You can have a better life, you just have to work as hard mentally as you are physically to obtain it. Eventually, my anger led me to the point that I was able to use it in my motivation to get on with life.

Does it mean you won't have hard times ahead, of course not. How hard, noone knows. But moving on does allow you some time to enjoy life. And who wouldn't want to enjoy life more?

That said, going out now on this beautiful sunny day to walk and enjoy my life.

[Jules A]

Kathy summed it up my thoughts also. I totally understand the bitterness and suspect you will in fact decide to move on and start to enjoy your life again at some point. In the meantime I'd encourage you to continue doing whatever you need to do to put one foot in front of the other each day. Keep making the money for some fun stuff while saving for your future, regardless of what it might possibly bring.

I do not for the life of me understand why those who are so offended by your posts continue answering while saying for the millionth time that they are done with you and basically add fuel to the fire they are complaining about in the first place.

What I do know is that when you weren't posting there were very few threads or replies anyway so no credibility that answering your stuff took all the energy someone had to post and they ignored other members. I guess I'll wait for this to be locked and the crickets to start chirping again. Unfortunate because we all have things to share and I enjoy seeing a lively debate and most times agreeing to disagree if needed.

Or here's a novel idea those who are upset by negativity can just refrain. I learned long ago that if someone really irritates me I just ignore them and that avoids getting all fired up over something I can't change.

[pennstater]

One thing to think about on upsetting others with negativity. When you post that you don't deserve to live a happy life and are unworthy of anything simply because you were diagnosed with MS (or cursed as you refer to it), you are probably offending people.

While you are saying that is how you feel about yourself, what others hear, is that you think their life is meaningless and undeserving of any happiness. That may not be your intention, but that is how it sounds. You have declared any life with MS is not living, which . So maybe before you post, think about the wording a little. I am not easily offended, but catch me on a bad day, and your brain rot, cursed, and other lovely descriptors do get to me. I just remind myself it is just your warped vision from diagnosis.

Jules - as for others ignoring posts, it is hard to do if you are reading a thread and multiple people are responding to it, some commenting on the original intention of the post and some responding to a post you were trying to ignore. How do you know which to jump thru?

And I will be honest - I had to step away a little. I wasn't enjoying coming anymore. The site is supposed to be people helping people. I have no problem with mods closing threads that have veered way off topic and getting contentious, which doesn't benefit the original poster. If a thread is hijacked, start a new one. I am glad Daisycat did.

[headrift]

I guess people have to get attention in their real life however they can...

Yes they can, will, and do. You're a fine example of that. I (and probably we) have seen your entire acceptance journey to date. You're angry again and will probably fade yourself away for a while, and I hope (for you) that you'll understand and grow from it.

Anyway... stop into the chat sometime. I'm there right now, and am a decent listener. *shrug*

https://kiwiirc.com/client?settings=...5f06d7771b0f6b

[kittysmith]

Daisycat, give it a rest.

For me, I'm sick of the negativity. I'm sick of the anger you spew at us. I'm sick of the offensive terms like "Curse", "Brain Rotting" and "Cripple". If you are never going to accept it then don't. But stop insuliting the people who want and need to remain positive. It would also be nice if you thanked those of us who tried to help. I still question possible "trolling" myself. This has gone on for far too long.

You are self centered and your views are warped. I come here to help AND receive help from others. Venting is fine, but when YOU do it, it's insulting. It's the same stuff over and over. All you do is vent and tell people they are wrong. It feels like you are screaming at us. Where did you get the idea that nothing bad would ever happen to you? Do you have PPMS or RRMS? How many flares have you had and what were your symptoms? Please answer these questions. I really need to know.

In my 50 years on this earth, I have yet to meet anyone who had a free pass through life. Life is about struggles and triumps. The reason I keep posting on your threads is becasue I don't want any newly diagnosed folks to become terrified or feel there is no hope. I keep letting you get under my skin and making me angry. I know what I have posted here will make no difference for you. But, to the newly diagnosed, your life is not over.

[Mable]

Do y'all know there's an ignore list?

Not sure if this is the fastest way to get to it, but you can click
Forum > Forum Actions > General Settings . Then, under My Settings, click Edit Ignore List. You'll know what to do from there.

It won't make a forum participant disappear entirely, but it's a good way to keep yourself from reading people and things that you know aren't healthy for you.

I used it in my most fragile early dx days for people whose situations seemed more desperate than I could handle.