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    Positive attitude

    I just need to vent, I mean no disrespect to anyone. But why is it that a positive attitude has been met with such animosity. Not just this site I have read (had private messages) that I need to face reality. I know I'm a "newby" but I've always known our minds are the strongest muscle we have. I will use it as my leg muscles are not so strong or my hands drop everything or I just can't up as easily I used to, to stay as happy and positive as long as possible.
    Therefore I feel as though going on the next leg of this journey in life is going to be the best I can make it. I may only have just had my DX but don't think for a second that I haven't know for a long time "SOMETHING JUST AINT RIGHT".
    With that being said I'm not a youngster and know what's real, I may not know exactly what is to come. That's why I joined forum groups to learn and prepare myself. I may not have DX years that many of you have but this didn't happen to me /us overnight. Each day we all have our own journey to travel and I wish everyone the best it can be.
    Please remember this was not intended to be disrespectful.
    Each day I wake is a good day, each day my feet hit the floor and carry me is a great day.
    I'm 54 with 6 grandkids 4-10 yrs, so I have great reasons to stay positive and as happy as possible. When I've learned another secret from a vet or a newly I hope to amplify and share that.

    #2
    Re: Positive attitude

    I love the attitude.

    My rant: I sometimes catch flack from medical professionals because they'll ask me "How are you" and I'll automatically answer, "fine" or "pretty good" or something like that.

    I view the question as a mindless form of social banter which deserves a similarly mindless response in return. I've had to "train" doctors/nurses that if you want a real answer then ask a real question: "What symptoms/issues are you having" will get a very, very different response. WTH?! Don't people understand that?

    Originally posted by DonnaH
    I may not know exactly what is to come.
    I've got some solid educated guesses. I've got an incurable brain disease that's kicking my butt and the scientific conclusion is that it'll get worse. When I was 27 (three decades ago) I had a week where I was blind as a bat and couldn't really walk. My long-term future probably is not rosy.

    But with that reality aside, I can see and I can walk, and so I might as well focus on maximizing things and not stressing about the future. That's the way I look at MS.

    Originally posted by DonnaH
    Each day I wake is a good day, each day my feet hit the floor and carry me is a great day. I'm 54 with 6 grandkids 4-10 yrs, so I have great reasons to stay positive and as happy as possible. When I've learned another secret from a vet or a newly I hope to amplify and share that.
    IMO you nailed the right attitude.

    You mentioned the word vet so I'll play on that. I spent 8 years in the Army with them making us do all sorts of moronic things. What I learned from that experience was that you could whine and complain (and I did my fair share of that!) but you still had to do the stuff. Or you could put a happy spin (albeit typically sarcastic) on things and still have to do the same things.

    The latter resulted in a happier outlook. I view MS the same way. It sucks, but there's little I can do about it, so I might as well accept it, reduce the whining/griping to a minimum, and instead seek to have fun and make the best of a bad situation.
    Last edited by Seasha; 03-09-2019, 11:18 AM. Reason: edited per Guideline #4
    59M / RRMS / Dx1987 / Ocrevus

    Comment


      #3
      Donna,

      Golgatha covered all the bases, you have the right attitude, vent when needs be.

      Your forthrightness is refreshing and welcome.

      Thanks for posting!

      Jer

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by DonnaH View Post
        I just need to vent, I mean no disrespect to anyone. But why is it that a positive attitude has been met with such animosity. ...
        I'm sorry you've experienced this here.
        Originally posted by DonnaH View Post
        Each day I wake is a good day, each day my feet hit the floor and carry me is a great day.
        I'm 54 with 6 grandkids 4-10 yrs, so I have great reasons to stay positive and as happy as possible. When I've learned another secret from a vet or a newly I hope to amplify and share that.
        I'm 56 with 2 grandkids 1 and 2 years old. I also have great reasons to stay positive and happy. I don't let those with negative attitudes get me down. Life can still be wonderful. Sometimes, now, there is even more gratitude because others go out of their way to help me when I need it.
        ~ Faith
        MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
        (now a Mimibug)

        Symptoms began in JAN02
        - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
        - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
        .

        - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
        - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

        Comment


          #5
          I'm right there with you, Donna. I am a half full kind of person. Not by choice. It's just the way that I'm wired. I am completely aware of the ways this disease might ravage my mind and/or body, but I am able to live in the moment and hope and plan for good outcomes and not-so-good outcomes. Fortunately, this mindset makes it easier for support from family and friends.

          Paula

          Comment


            #6
            Thanks to all that replied

            I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that says "" I'm fine.
            To be honest I take someone with me to the doctor that does say how I'm doing. Why is it that I'm not even aware of some of the things that I'm doing, or I should say the lack of until its pointed out.
            Thank you to all that feel the same so I know I'm not just being B@^#&

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by snoopy
              Why is it that I'm not even aware of some of the things that I'm doing, or I should say the lack of until its pointed out.
              Donna, it may be that our bodies adapt without our consciously being aware of it.

              What I'm trying to say is that any task we are charged with doing (cutting an apple, tying a shoelace etc) we will accomplish... although it is now being done in the "new normal" not the normal that we once were.

              The body is amazing.

              BUT problems will arise when we don't notice the deviation from normal is leading down a path that has consequence.

              Example: I walk longer and better with tracking poles BUT I must be aware of my right side weakness and not grow dependent on that pole. If I become dependent, my posture will begin changing... No on wants to go there. I use the poles to practice walking with a correct carriage and can get away without them (short distances), at least for now.

              Always try to do what ever you do the correct way (PT is important). Meds can help but they also take you away from the knowledge of what was and may well muddy the waters of what now is. IMO

              Keep smiling, it's half the battle.

              Jer

              Comment


                #8
                Sorry... It's trekking poles not tracking poles... my Mac spell checks without a care in the world!.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Stay positive. A positive attitude won't hurt you, but a negative one can. Lots of studies on the mind and its impact on the body.

                  I don't know if some people on sites are so unhappy, that they want to bring others down. Or if like gossip and news, people spread negative quicker than positive.

                  Of course, we all struggle at times. But I would hope I never try to force a negative attitude onto another person.

                  I have met very positive people with severe disability and very negative people with mild or no disability. Aside from the newly diagnosed adjustment period, I am glad I didn't dwell on the negative. I would have wasted years that I couldn't get back.
                  Kathy
                  DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I really don't think being positive or negative is going to have anything to do with how this thing progresses. Eating healthy , working out , getting enough sleep , relaxing , not smoking , and avoiding stress are what I think is most important. You can do all those things being positive or negative.

                    Everyone handles everything differently and as long as we aren't harming anyone else with how we handle it I think it should really be our choice.

                    No one should tell the OP not to be positive , just like no one should have a problem with someone who knows denial and avoidance is the ONLY way they will get through the day without crying in a bathroom stall for hours. I really do not want to turn this thread into a debate of positive/negative etc... just wanted to say that for some people a positive attitude is just not going to ever be possible once they get the news that their live is over.

                    Again we should all be OK with how each person decides to handle this and not tell someone they are wrong for how they feel.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
                      I really don't think being positive or negative is going to have anything to do with how this thing progresses.
                      I disagree, and so does the research. There are all kinds of sources - Harvard University, Mayo clinic, etc that indicate that a positive attitude contributes to good health.

                      Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
                      Eating healthy , working out , getting enough sleep , relaxing , not smoking , and avoiding stress are what I think is most important. You can do all those things being positive or negative.
                      A positive attitude also helps with sleep patterns and reducing stress.
                      [/QUOTE]
                      Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
                      Everyone handles everything differently and as long as we aren't harming anyone else with how we handle it I think it should really be our choice.
                      ...

                      Again we should all be OK with how each person decides to handle this and not tell someone they are wrong for how they feel.
                      I'm certainly "OK with" you handling this in your way. You're right; it is your choice.

                      However, I'm not going to pretend that I believe that denial, avoidance and negativity don't affect your health in a negative way. The research just doesn't support your assertions.

                      I also suspect, that, in addition to hurting yourself, your attitude is hurting / harming your loved ones. You don't live in a vacuum.

                      If you're looking for a pat on the back for negativity, you won't get one from me. Instead, I continue to wish peace of mind, resiliency and acceptance for you.
                      ~ Faith
                      MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                      (now a Mimibug)

                      Symptoms began in JAN02
                      - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                      - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                      .

                      - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                      - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Daisycat - just for others reading this thread - did a doctor tell you your life was over? If not, this is an example of negativity hurting you by distorting your view.

                        Mamabug is right - lots of studies that show a positive attitude affects physical health in a positive fashion.

                        Not going to rehash all the old posts. Glad you feel your denial is working for you.
                        Kathy
                        DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by DonnaH View Post
                          ... our minds are the strongest muscle we have. I will use it as my leg muscles are not so strong or my hands drop everything or I just can't up as easily I used to, to stay as happy and positive as long as possible. ...

                          Each day I wake is a good day, each day my feet hit the floor and carry me is a great day.
                          I'm 54 with 6 grandkids 4-10 yrs, so I have great reasons to stay positive and as happy as possible. When I've learned another secret from a vet or a newly I hope to amplify and share that.
                          I just wanted to repeat this. Thanks, Donna, for your words of wisdom.
                          ~ Faith
                          MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                          (now a Mimibug)

                          Symptoms began in JAN02
                          - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                          - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                          .

                          - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                          - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Mama

                            My attitude was very positive about my future until this happened. Now I’m realistically living in denial. THAT has helped me with sleep, productivey at my multiple jobs.

                            Acceptance of this would mean I give up everything and basically save everything for when I can’t walk. I’ll take denial and proving the hospital was wrong. Might be hard with my no more mris but I’ll find a way:

                            and im very happy in my vacuum of solitude. I have a good friend who lives a few hours away and we go see a movie once a month. Another good friend in town is becoming my concert buddy. And I have a couple of people I email/text every week. That’s all I need.

                            I don’t need people like my mom.




                            pennstater

                            denial is the only thing that’s gotten me out of bed. I will find a way to either show I don’t have this or I cured it.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by DonnaH View Post
                              ... Each day we all have our own journey to travel and I wish everyone the best it can be...
                              Yes; me too. Thanks for that wish.
                              ~ Faith
                              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                              (now a Mimibug)

                              Symptoms began in JAN02
                              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                              .

                              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                              Comment

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