Special Threads For VIP Members

[Seasha]

Hi IntoDust! I hope you are doing well.


I have been a member for a decade and it's uncommon to have someone's name in the title, especially a newer member. It's more common for a new member to arrive and initially start a bunch of threads seeking answers. It may appear they are monopolizing the boards for a little while, but over time it balances out. Some people start a new post for every question that pops into their minds and others may ask a dozen question in a single post. I believe these are just personality differences between people.


I'm sorry that you may have felt marginalized or that others are getting special treatment on this board. I can assure you that it's not intentional and your imput IS valued - just like this post. I understand where you are coming from and tend to avoid the posts that you are referring to. I believe others have also said their peace and will engage less moving forward. That's how these things tend work themselves out.


I'm glad you posted this because if you are thinking it, others probably are as well. Rest assure the past few months of the board activity is an anomaly. I hope you will hang around a bit longer, ask your questions, provide your feedback and see if the board doesn't improve for you. Thank you again for voicing your concerns.


I wish you well...

I could have written these words myself, so thank you Marco for this perspective. MSWorld has been around for almost 23 years now and the number of people who have signed up membership during that time exceeds around 160,000? (maybe more or less) We have had our ups and downs, but we continue to be a strong support outlet for others in need, whatever the needs that arise in myriad forms. I too wish you well, IntoDust, and hope you continue to speak about what matters to you and thank you for being candid and truthful.

[Jules A]

Just my.02 but if something about someone else or something else is bothering you, then that's on you. Everyone, unless blatantly disrespectful should have a seat at the table. Engaging that individual or participating in a certain thread is a choice.

I agree and didn't even think twice about seeing someone's name in a title. It doesn't strike me as equating to some sort of VIP status. I've been here probably 14 or so years and don't ever recall getting the feeling that anyone was being treated as a VIP. There have been a few times when I thought someone was full of it and seemed to be fawned over because they authored flowery responses that I felt were patronizing but it didn't cause me to leave the board. I just stop engaging and actually blocked someone for the first time a couple of weeks ago for that reason which has been quite refreshing.

It is interesting that recently, perhaps because there is so few of us? that several people seem rather sensitive about who is getting too much attention though.

IntoDust I'm both surprised and sorry you are feeling this way and hope you don't leave as I really enjoy reading your comments even on the rare occasions I don't agree.

[IntoDust]

It is interesting that recently, perhaps because there is so few of us? that several people seem rather sensitive about who is getting too much attention though.

IntoDust I'm both surprised and sorry you are feeling this way and hope you don't leave as I really enjoy reading your comments even on the rare occasions I don't agree.

Jules, what are you talking about? I’m always right

Obviously the term VIP is being used in a rather tongue-in-cheek way, but it just seems as if a lot of the conversations end up circling the same drain. As I said, it’s died down for a little now but I was one more round of crazy away from deleting my account.

I understand that blocking a member is an option, but since the threads can get really large with a ton of opinions thrown in, especially revolving around a single member, I couldn’t imagine trying to follow them with certain people blocked. It sounds like a bit of a nightmare honestly and would get totally confusing.

[Jules A]

Jules, what are you talking about? I’m always right
.

Clearly we are sisters by different mothers because I was thinking the exact same thing about myself.

[kittysmith]

I've been here 11 years

Is it a common occurrence for certain members of MS World to not only monopolize the boards, dominate the conversation and even get special threads with their username in the title? It’s turning into a bizarre VIP treatment.
Or is this a rare situation?
I haven’t been a member for very long so I’m hoping one of the older members can chime in here.
I haven’t been posting much and to be honest, I’ve been really turned off by what the boards are turning into. I said months ago when I first began posting that I was disappointed but I held out hope that things would turn around. They haven’t. While it’s a little quieter right now, it’s a lull and it will start back up again. It’s a predictable pattern at this point.
I understand wanting to help someone in need, but at what cost? Is all of this special attention actually helping in a meaningful way or is it feeding into other issues such as a need for attention?
Just look at the amount of replies in specific threads and tell me what it says to other members who have their own questions, issues, rants or stories to share.
Is the “increased traffic” really worth it if others don’t feel they have a safe place to share their equally valid posts?

You took the words right out of my mouth. I have always enjoyed coming here because everyone is so nice and helpful. Everyone deserves to be able to express their opinions. But, it has become obvious to me that there are a very few people (one) who continue to ask the same questions over and over and then rejects everyone's responses. I have stayed away for a while hoping things would get better, but they have not. One continues to open new threads, disguised as MS questions, but quickly becomes completely negative. Rejection of every idea and thought. It is counter productive. I have never seen anything quite like this. It's a losing battle. This is just how I feel.

[Jules A]

I try to keep in mind the principle behind this board rather than the personalities involved. MSWorld was created by people with MS to help people with MS. Think about it like going to an office party. You go for whatever reason, but will most likely NOT interact with everybody there. There may even be some things going on that you chose not to participate in, but that does not mean that you can't still have a good time. That is too simplistic and not really dead on, but maybe you can understand what I am trying to convey.

Not simplistic at all and spot on!

Like face:face relationships we can't change how people act but we can adjust and reflect on our own responses. When I have an extreme reaction to someone I try to reflect on what about that person is rubbing me wrong and most often its my stuff and not them at all.

The beauty of an internet forum is that unlike in person we can choose to open a thread or not. There are always other threads to enjoy or start a new topic and if it becomes derailed I guess ask mods to close it? I haven't ever seen anyone here be so intrusive in others' threads that it got to that point though. Considering opposing views is how I have learned amazing things and if not I seem to have a high threshold for agreeing to disagree.

[pennstater]

I feel for the mods on this one. Responses are all over the place.

Threads were closed, and people complained. New thread was opened, and people complained. I am sure it must feel like a no win situation for our dedicated volunteers.

I do think it should be common courtesy that after a few posts that seem to derail the original post, it should be a common courtesy for a new thread to be opened under the appropriate topic title. The onus shouldn't be on the mods to do this, but those who are interested in the derailment topic.

If you participate in other groups, not just MS, if you go off topic, people aren't as courteous as they are here.

I think in the threads of my original post, after multiple posts,I had asked someone to start a new thread related to their concerns. The person didn't, which is why I believed a new one was created by the moderator.

If I start a thread or participate in one that seems to be heading off course, I will continue to ask that maybe a new thread should be started, especially if the originator of a thread wants it . That way, the people who want to participate in it can, and those who want to avoid it can.

[Jules A]

I feel for the mods on this one. Responses are all over the place.

Threads were closed, and people complained. New thread was opened, and people complained. I am sure it must feel like a no win situation for our dedicated volunteers..

Agree.

I don't usually mind derailed threads and have seen on other boards where if the OP minds they will request it go back on topic. If the OP requests their thread be closed I think that is reasonable but prefer others aren't closed. Those who lose interest or are upset can avoid them, unless a blatant violation of terms of course.

[pennstater]

Agree.

I don't usually mind derailed threads and have seen on other boards where if the OP minds they will request it go back on topic. If the OP requests their thread be closed I think that is reasonable but prefer others aren't closed. Those who lose interest or are upset can avoid them, unless a blatant violation of terms of course.

Jules - I do disagree here. Why should people have to leave a thread they were participating in because it went off topic? And as an original poster, I did mind and wanted it back on topic.

[Seasha]

I think I'm having a MS cognitive moment here reading thru this - like in: my head is spinning

I think the best possible action for a OP who either wants their thread closed or doesn't appreciate that the thread has gotten off topic or for any other reason, needs to email either me- Seasha@msworld.org or boardmoderators@msworld.org.

Then we are clear what action is needed and can proceed. How's that?

[Jules A]

Jules - I do disagree here. Why should people have to leave a thread they were participating in because it went off topic? And as an original poster, I did mind and wanted it back on topic.

As I noted if the OP I find it very reasonable if you requested it be closed or folks go back on topic, can't make people respect that though. Its an open forum on the www so no true expectation of control.

If not the OP as I noted above I believe if someone is upset or distracted by other posters they should move along and save their self the angst.

[Mamabug]

Jules - I do disagree here. Why should people have to leave a thread they were participating in because it went off topic? And as an original poster, I did mind and wanted it back on topic.

That's helpful to know. Thanks for your perspective.

That was the reason that I started a new thread to respond to the off-topic comment.

[IntoDust]

As I noted if the OP I find it very reasonable if you requested it be closed or folks go back on topic, can't make people respect that though. Its an open forum on the www so no true expectation of control.

If not the OP as I noted above I believe if someone is upset or distracted by other posters they should move along and save their self the angst.

So these are open forums for all of us to use, yet this implies that threads are “owned” by the OP and as long as they don’t mind it going off track then... oh well.
This still affects other users who are a part of the conversation yet leaves them unable to participate after this happens. Which in turn, causes some of us to refrain from joining the conversation.

I feel that it would be a shame to miss out on active, well rounded conversations with many different opinions because everything focuses on one member. Especially when these things have already been discussed ad nauseam.

[Mamabug]

This still affects other users who are a part of the conversation yet leaves them unable to participate after this happens. Which in turn, causes some of us to refrain from joining the conversation.

Any member, including but not limited to the OP, is free to make a comment that ignores the off-topic comment and gets the thread back on track. They are not rendered unable to participate.

Or, to request that the thread return to the original topic and start their iwn new thread if they wish to diverge from the topic.

In either case, quoting the original post in the thread could be one strategy to do this.

Please keep requests respectful.

[Myoak]

Just my.02 but if something about someone else or something else is bothering you, then that's on you. Everyone, unless blatantly disrespectful should have a seat at the table. Engaging that individual or participating in a certain thread is a choice.

I have enjoyed many of the insightful comments in this thread but this one is as close to perfection as it gets, IMO.