Relationships

[MarkLavelle]

I appreciate all the thoughts and responses, I feel that it’s not my time but then again when is?

You really can't know if it's "your time."

A friend of mine ("E") had 3 deep & long relationships (one of which was a marriage) over 30+ years, and all 3 had pretty tragic endings. But my friend eventually started dating folks she 'met' via JDate. Over the course of a couple of years of dating (or not), E was never satisfied with her dates. But this one guy ("M" [not me!]) kept inviting her to concerts & dinner, and they spoke on the phone several times a week. E was sure he wasn't her 'type, but she enjoyed his company.

Fun anecdote: When my wife & I were stranded with a dead car on the first evening of a getaway weekend, E called M to get a rental car & towing arranged for us!

It took over a year, but in the end E & M got married and had some very excellent years together.

I guess the moral of the story is simply "don't push people away"...

[MMMMS]

The petty things you mention are choices we make -clothing, political views, etc. But if someone rejects us on something unchangeable -skin color, physical appearance, illness - the person doing the rejecting isn't worth our time. It's all the more egregious when they've previously claimed to be a good friend. They've shown their true selves when they do that. We can forgive them for being shallow people, but I wouldn't stay in love with them. If I did, I would be staying in love with someone who doesn't really exist. It wouldn't be the person who is walking away from me when I'm less than near-perfect. It would be who I thought she was, not what she actually is. I would rather know what the person truly is, even when it means acknowledging that I had been friends with someone who isn't what I thought she was. I'm OK with knowing that I misjudged someone. I won't make excuses for these people. Fear? Hogwash. We're all adults. It's not fear for our sake. It's their fear of being associated with or of being called on to help. It's about not wanting a burden. That's their choice. But I'm not sugar coating their character flaws for them. They are what they are. More's the pity for them than for us.

Good people don't act like that. True friends don't walk away when you get sick. Those are the "friends for a time" kind of friends. They are the "drinking buddy" types. They're in for the good times only. You can't depend on them. They were merely acquaintances after all.

It's one thing if they present themselves as an acquaintance. It's another if they play true friend when times are good and walk away when being your friend isn't as fun for them anymore. No excuses for them. It's their choice. I wouldn't hold a grudge. But I'll be danged if I'll call a spade anything but a spade. 🤣

🎶Let them gooo. Let them gooo. 🎶

I haven't lost friends over MS, but I have lost acquaintances. My load is lighter and brighter. ❤️

As for the "not true and good" people, if I loved them before, I still love them. I forgive them their inability to understand. I especially forgive them their fear. Unless someone is aggressively out to harm me, I have no reason to consider them not to be "true and good."

[Johncbd]

Care for those who cares you

Don’t care for those who ignore you. Care for those who are ignoring others for you.When peoples care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul.
Regards
John