Optimism and Pessimism - Disease impact

[Mamabug]

Well I’m in the hope that everything is minimally affected. Like I am now. Staying on treatment and paying attention to my diet with a consistent workout routine I’m hoping I’ll be just fine. But again anxiety still creeps on me.

Those are really good starts.

I wish that my neurologist had helped me find an effective treatment earlier. And I would do things very differently ony diet if I knew then what I know now.

[MMMMS]

I got the diagnosis in 2006, but likely had it 6-8 years earlier. My symptoms are still mild and intermittent. The biggest issues are fatigue and brain fog/memory. Even those, though, aren't an every day thing. I think the symptoms are a real pain in my life. But I intellectually know that they are mild, maybe moderate on the worst days.

The symptoms were enough to take my retirement as soon as I was eligible, though. I thought that it would make a world of difference. But it really hasn't. I still have to be careful about how much I sign on for. And weather is the biggest problem for me. Fall is lije I have nothing wrong. Then my husband puts the heat on. Oh, my God! I want to get a duplex. 🤣

Embarrassing Confession:Right after diagnosis, I told myself that I should fight the fatigue and enjoy just the fact that I could still walk. Yeah, I know, cue the violins. 🤣

But I laugh at myself now and roll my eyes at the drama queen I was. And here I am almost 13 years later. I'm actually more able now than when I was going through that flare that led to the diagnosis.

I think that MS is one of the most difficult diagnoses to believe you really have, and that that is where so much of the fear/hope anxiety comes from. It's more difficult to accept that you have MS than it is to accept a cancer diagnosis, for example. MS is a diagnosis of exclusion, and it often takes years to diagnose. Who wouldn't be left fearful of the outcome and yet still hoping that the dr. missed another explanation for the symptoms? We're fearful of how MS could change our lives, but we still hang on to hope that it could be something else, something curable. When we hear someone say that X mimics MS, of course we have that glimmer of wishful hope even years into this.

These message boards can be very helpful.

Well I’m in the hope that everything is minimally affected. Like I am now. Staying on treatment and paying attention to my diet with a consistent workout routine I’m hoping I’ll be just fine. But again anxiety still creeps on me.

[Daisycat]

I think some people try to be positive about things in their life they have that make them happy and then reality smacks them in the fact and all that happiness is ripped away.


This thing is horrible and knowing I can’t fix it makes it so much harder. I’ve always been able to fix things and it terrifies me that this might be something I can’t. And that’s what makes staying positive so hard

[Jules A]

This thing is horrible and knowing I can’t fix it makes it so much harder. I’ve always been able to fix things and it terrifies me that this might be something I can’t. And that’s what makes staying positive so hard

I hear ya but what I can tell you as someone diagnosed in their 40s is MS is only one rude awakening in the grand scheme of aging. With both conditions I don't see any choice but to adapt and be thankful for the blessings I have. It beats the alternative for now anyway.

[Daisycat]

I hear ya but what I can tell you as someone diagnosed in their 40s is MS is only one rude awakening in the grand scheme of aging. With both conditions I don't see any choice but to adapt and be thankful for the blessings I have. It beats the alternative for now anyway.

I try to focus on the blessings but the littlest thing can set me back. That is what I don’t know how to get around

[Jules A]

I try to focus on the blessings but the littlest thing can set me back. That is what I don’t know how to get around

Maybe a similar strategy to picking your battles? The only things that really upset me are harm to my my loved ones and animals. Other that that most anything I can accept, deal with and move past.

[hsmaldo]

Personally, I try to be optimistic. There are times that I get down--that's just a normal part of life.

But overall, I keep my sense of humor and try to look on the bright side of things.

I look at it this way--EVERYONE in this world is going to have hardship or struggle with something at some point in their life. Loved ones die, illness occurs, relationships fail, careers falter. It's something that no one is immune to. Having a diagnosis of MS doesn't make me more "special" than the person who has cancer or whose mother died or a parent who lost their child at the age of 8. Each one of us suffers. If that's what you choose to focus on--the suffering in life, then you will see more and more of it everywhere you go--because that's where your focus lies.

I choose to focus on things that bring happiness to others, to encourage people with a smile or kind word. To strike up conversations with random strangers in the elevator or checkout line. When I can focus on things outside of myself, I am not as upset at my situation. Helping others is what brings ME happiness and well-being.

Will a positive outlook change my disease progression? Maybe, maybe not. But it will make my life (and the lives of those around me) a heck of a lot less miserable! Because I want to be remembered for my smile, kindness and love for others. Not that woman who had MS.

And as a disclaimer, this is not directed toward anybody. This is just my own thoughts on optimism vs. Pessimism.

[pennstater]

Personally, I try to be optimistic. There are times that I get down--that's just a normal part of life.

But overall, I keep my sense of humor and try to look on the bright side of things.

I look at it this way--EVERYONE in this world is going to have hardship or struggle with something at some point in their life. Loved ones die, illness occurs, relationships fail, careers falter. It's something that no one is immune to. Having a diagnosis of MS doesn't make me more "special" than the person who has cancer or whose mother died or a parent who lost their child at the age of 8. Each one of us suffers. If that's what you choose to focus on--the suffering in life, then you will see more and more of it everywhere you go--because that's where your focus lies.

I choose to focus on things that bring happiness to others, to encourage people with a smile or kind word. To strike up conversations with random strangers in the elevator or checkout line. When I can focus on things outside of myself, I am not as upset at my situation. Helping others is what brings ME happiness and well-being.

Will a positive outlook change my disease progression? Maybe, maybe not. But it will make my life (and the lives of those around me) a heck of a lot less miserable! Because I want to be remembered for my smile, kindness and love for others. Not that woman who had MS.

And as a disclaimer, this is not directed toward anybody. This is just my own thoughts on optimism vs. Pessimism.

Love your approach to life.

[Mamabug]

I look at it this way--EVERYONE in this world is going to have hardship or struggle with something at some point in their life. Loved ones die, illness occurs, relationships fail, careers falter. It's something that no one is immune to. Having a diagnosis of MS doesn't make me more "special" than the person who has cancer or whose mother died or a parent who lost their child at the age of 8. Each one of us suffers.

That's exactly my perspective.
The way I say it:

Everyone has their "stuff". MS is just my "stuff".

[Daisycat]

Maybe a similar strategy to picking your battles? The only things that really upset me are harm to my my loved ones and animals. Other that that most anything I can accept, deal with and move past.

The things that upset me are the two things that upset you plus anything that reminds me of this crud. I have been trying to stay away from these boards because to be honest I am not positive about this and I know I never will be and I feel like I just bring everyone here down. I'll never make it to where I am OK shouting from the roof tops that I have this.

I still can't even say the words and the only reason stopped calling it what I used when I first started posting here is so I don't offend people here , but talking to the couple of people who know about this IRL I say much worse about myself.

[Jules A]

I have been trying to stay away from these boards because to be honest I am not positive about this and I know I never will be and I feel like I just bring everyone here down. I'll never make it to where I am OK shouting from the roof tops that I have this.

I hope you don't stay away because you have a different perspective from some others. Personally I think that is the beauty of an open forum and enables us to learn from each other. I tend to be a glass half empty type person, life has taught me to be skeptical, which has served me well in many instances to triage life's events and quickly sift out the kitty from the litter.

If we all had the same opinion or vantage point it would be boring. In addition to the camaraderie I also benefit from seeing how others manage to deal with the challenges of having MS. I try to keep an open mind and have changed my opinion after reading someone else's point of view.

[Daisycat]

I hope you don't stay away because you have a different perspective from some others. Personally I think that is the beauty of an open forum and enables us to learn from each other. I tend to be a glass half empty type person, life has taught me to be skeptical, which has served me well in many instances to triage life's events and quickly sift out the kitty from the litter.

If we all had the same opinion or vantage point it would be boring. In addition to the camaraderie I also benefit from seeing how others manage to deal with the challenges of having MS. I try to keep an open mind and have changed my opinion after reading someone else's point of view.

I've been staying away because what I post here is a VERY mild version of how I really feel about this disease and I feel that if I posted everything I thought I would be banned. I am having a harder and harder time not letting this misery spread into my daily life. I can't and don't see thw point in anything anymore and really wish I didn't have cats who depended on me.

[Temagami]

D-cat,
It seems that your rational thinker is battling your biochemistry-neurology and the thinker is "winning" by ignoring the reality of the depression. MS leads to a much higher depression incidence whether from the diagnosis or the brain changes. Resisting that you may be suffering AND may benefit from intervention is not rational.

If your car were making a horrible screeching noise, would you take it to the mechanic or just turn up the radio? Seems that you have been turning up the radio, but the screech is there all the same.

[Jules A]

I can't and don't see thw point in anything anymore and really wish I didn't have cats who depended on me.

Well you do, so there's that. And your pooch.

Naturally some days will be better than others. Maybe reconsider the suggestions you have received about therapy and a medication evaluation to see if an antidepressant/anti-anxiety med might be appropriate. Even though I know you have tried some before.

PS I'm thinking about seeing KISS in Vegas next month. They aren't a major favorite but one I'd like see before either them or I croak.

[pennstater]

I've been staying away because what I post here is a VERY mild version of how I really feel about this disease and I feel that if I posted everything I thought I would be banned. I am having a harder and harder time not letting this misery spread into my daily life. I can't and don't see thw point in anything anymore and really wish I didn't have cats who depended on me.

Sorry that you are struggling even more. There is an old saying that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". I don't mean anything by this quote, other than if you want to feel different, then try a different approach.
I debated on whether to post - I don't want you or anyone else to infer anything by the word insane.

You know my thoughts, that a good therapist can make a huge difference. I am not talking about a phone call to a benefit wellness line but real therapy. It can be difficult, but worth it in the end.

I hope you figure out a way to deal and live your life again.