Do I cut my mom out of my life?

[Daisycat]

You whole post, Kathy, was well written. You made a lot of good points.



Then , ... change the way you look at it. I have many more disabilities than you might ever have. And my future does not depression me. It's a choice.

I really don't know how to. I have tried all the regular things and nothing helps. Right now keeping my mind of it seems to be helping but it is always there in the back of my mind reminding me that I am no longer "normal" and I will miss out on things because of it.

[Mamabug]

I really don't know how to. I have tried all the regular things and nothing helps. Right now keeping my mind of it seems to be helping but it is always there in the back of my mind reminding me that I am no longer "normal" and I will miss out on things because of it.

Consider therapy to deal with grief and loss, to set goals for the future, to learn how to accept the things you cannot change.

[pennstater]

Consider therapy to deal with grief and loss, to set goals for the future, to learn how to accept the things you cannot change.

That's what I did. And many have. Seeing a therapist experienced with chronic, progessive diseases really helped. I was thinking of going for a quick booster visit, but she retired. Have to find a new one.

[Mamabug]

That's what I did. And many have. Seeing a therapist experienced with chronic, progessive diseases really helped. I was thinking of going for a quick booster visit, but she retired. Have to find a new one.

I did too. For many years. Regularly, sometimes. Off and on, other times. Alone sometimes. With my husband other times.

Support is so important. It's one of those resiliency strategies that you hear me talk about.

I've also been a part of a small group for almost 30 years. Although, over the years, the members have changed sometimes, our current group is six women who have been consistent members for over 10 years. We meet every other week to share about our lives and to pray for, and with, each other.

I started when I was age 27 and my daughter was a newborn. They've seen me through parenting babies, toddlers, preschoolers, kids in school (losing my mom to cancer, getting MS and coping), and kids in high school. Through ups and downs in my marriage, followed by stability. Also through kids in college, empty nest, a returning boomerang kid, my daughter's marriage, and now grandchildren.

Something else I've started recently is making a monthly appointment with a certified peer specialist.

She is someone that I knew and respected already. Initially, I went to her just two times in about a year -- to talk about situations that I was adjusting to. One of those visits was in February, after I started using a cane.

But she's just so calming and reassuring that I decided to make a monthly appointment, just for general self care.

She said one of her clients told her, "Some people get a pedi once a month. I come to see Marva."

Everyone needs support.

[Daisycat]

Consider therapy to deal with grief and loss, to set goals for the future, to learn how to accept the things you cannot change.

I talked to a grief/illness therapist we have through a work program. It didn’t really seem to hemp since at the end of everything I still have this.

ive tried setting goals. Right now it’s weight loss since that’s all I feel I can control. Work related goals depress me

[MMMMS]

My short answer is Yes. If anyone refuses to respect your direct order to stop pushing an unwanted religion on you, you have the right to walk away. If you're asking here, I'm guessing that you're really just asking for back-up on a decision that you've already made.

[Mamabug]

I talked to a grief/illness therapist we have through a work program. It didn’t really seem to hemp since at the end of everything I still have this.

yeah. If you expect a therapist to magically cure your illness, therapy wouldn't help. That's not a realistic expectation.

I encourage you to change your expectations. A therapist can help you to deal with grief and loss, to set additional goals for the future, and to learn how to accept the things you cannot change.

Of course, at the end of your appointment, you still have this. That comment just indicates to me that you haven't accepted it yet. That is exactly why you could benefit from therapy -- not why you don't need it.

[pennstater]

I talked to a grief/illness therapist we have through a work program. It didn’t really seem to hemp since at the end of everything I still have this.

ive tried setting goals. Right now it’s weight loss since that’s all I feel I can control. Work related goals depress me

Glad you spoke thru a work program. But the goal is not to change your diagnosis, but to get you to a healthy place mentally that you can coexist with it and live your life, not curled up from depression and fear. It is to give you tools to deal with the ups and downs of life, to give you more power in how you acknowledge and deal with your thoughts without overwhelming you. Resiliency strategies that Faith has talked about.

But you have to want it. Again, your choice how you want to live your life now that CIS/MS is in it.

[Mamabug]

Glad you spoke thru a work program. But the goal is not to change your diagnosis, but to get you to a healthy place mentally that you can coexist with it ...

Truth.
....

[Daisycat]

I just don’t know how I can coexist with this thing. I’ve lost so much these past 14 months. I feel like there really isn’t much of a point in things since my life is work, work out, study on a topic to keep my mind sharp, work out again, and eat a small amount at some point:

i miss being able to sleep in and go out for decent tasting food or just taking a night off working out to just watch tv.

i feel like I have to give 120% into this healthy lifestyle to stay alive. (If that makes sense )

[Jules A]

I just don’t know how I can coexist with this thing. I’ve lost so much these past 14 months. I feel like there really isn’t much of a point in things since my life is work, work out, study on a topic to keep my mind sharp, work out again, and eat a small amount at some point:

i miss being able to sleep in and go out for decent tasting food or just taking a night off working out to just watch tv.

i feel like I have to give 120% into this healthy lifestyle to stay alive. (If that makes sense )

Moderation? That is my approach. If there was evidence that if we did all the above our MS would disappear I'd be happy to never eat another expensive, fat-laden restaurant meal. While I wholeheartedly believe in healthy habits, regardless of MS, I also want some freedom to enjoy things on occasion that might not be the best choice.

I am holding still my breath for any shred of research that shows smoking cigarettes has some benefit to our health because I loved smoking more than eating, sigh.

[Daisycat]

Jules

i used to believe in moderation, but now it terrifies me.

id never be able to live with myself if I ate something I enjoyed and woke up with double vision.

At least I’m almost at my goal weight...

and im right there with you about cigarettes. I think I miss them more than chick fil la or Mexican food.

I’m the weirdo who has to smell the dog that comes into the vet and smells like smoke because I miss cigarettes so much.

[Jules A]

id never be able to live with myself if I ate something I enjoyed and woke up with double vision. [/QUOTE]

If it makes you feel any better the first bout of double vision I had was when I was on the freaking Atkins diet so it definitely wasn't bon-bons that made my eyes go wonky.

I was a normal weight but never minded being thinner so I was doing it with a friend for support. I thought I must have gotten myself all out of whack with the ketones so I stopped the diet but unfortunately the double vision plus nystagmus came back with a vengeance several months later.

Bottom line I think an overall healthy diet is probably sufficient.

[Mamabug]

id never be able to live with myself if I ate something I enjoyed and woke up with double vision.

I truly believe that the stress that comes with "going 120%" is much more likely to trigger an MS flare than Mexican food or Chick filet.

I'm all for moderation. Unless you're going for a pretty restrictive diet, such as my gluten and dairy free diet.

[Jules A]

I truly believe that the stress that comes with "going 120%" is much more likely to trigger an MS flare than Mexican food or Chick filet.

Lol, I second that.