Hello! My name is Shelley. I was diagnosed with relapsing/remitting m.s. in 2005. I have three grown children, two live with me and my husband and three stepsons. I am a letter carrier and have been unable to work since October of '17.
I had an urinary tract infection that started a flare up that I have never recovered. I was walking nearly a half marathon daily while I was working, now I have been tested as less than sedentary by a physical therapist as part of my appeal for Social Security Disability. My neuro believes I've most likely progressed into secondary progressive m.s..
I'm having a difficult time of it. I was used to being to mentally overcome my fatigue so I could work even if afterwords I was out of commission. Now I can't even work in my garden for an hour or so before I need to go indoors and quite often sleep for two or three hours. In my head I can still manage it but now no matter how mentally tough I may want to be the fatigue is soo much stronger than I am.
I needed to be stubborn and tough to be a letter carrier for more than ten years. Sometimes now I find it difficult to accept that resting when my body tells me to and to not put expectations on myself daily to really do anything. Instead I'm trying to just do what ever small project I want to use my meager strength on that I will enjoy, just not what I feel I need to do for my family to feel worthy or whatever.
I am trying hard to give myself a break. Recognize really how long I worked and how long I held out. As life often is with multiple sclerosis, I am fighting my self mentally almost as much as I am fighting the disease. I am hoping when I am approved for disability, I will be able to really accept my new reality and focus of fighting the disease and not my own self doubt and fears of wortiness.I am hoping that by reaching out to others and connecting with people who really have been where I am I can avoid becoming a recluse hopefully keep my chin up!
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
I had an urinary tract infection that started a flare up that I have never recovered. I was walking nearly a half marathon daily while I was working, now I have been tested as less than sedentary by a physical therapist as part of my appeal for Social Security Disability. My neuro believes I've most likely progressed into secondary progressive m.s..
I'm having a difficult time of it. I was used to being to mentally overcome my fatigue so I could work even if afterwords I was out of commission. Now I can't even work in my garden for an hour or so before I need to go indoors and quite often sleep for two or three hours. In my head I can still manage it but now no matter how mentally tough I may want to be the fatigue is soo much stronger than I am.
I needed to be stubborn and tough to be a letter carrier for more than ten years. Sometimes now I find it difficult to accept that resting when my body tells me to and to not put expectations on myself daily to really do anything. Instead I'm trying to just do what ever small project I want to use my meager strength on that I will enjoy, just not what I feel I need to do for my family to feel worthy or whatever.
I am trying hard to give myself a break. Recognize really how long I worked and how long I held out. As life often is with multiple sclerosis, I am fighting my self mentally almost as much as I am fighting the disease. I am hoping when I am approved for disability, I will be able to really accept my new reality and focus of fighting the disease and not my own self doubt and fears of wortiness.I am hoping that by reaching out to others and connecting with people who really have been where I am I can avoid becoming a recluse hopefully keep my chin up!
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
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