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    #16
    I have to respond to this post. I had a lady in my home a few days ago whom I really like, but find annoying. She is VERY religious, but does not go to church. She seems to have memorized the Bible and I suspect she listens to tapes and reads all kinds of books. A bit over the top for me. I think she has constructed a "religion and faith" of her own.

    Anyway, we got to talking about how I don't feel good and the MS is grinding away. Her answer to me was something like this: "if you want to have this disease go ahead" "If you don't want it let Jesus heal you". She has said things like this before. I guess she doesn't believe in sickness or diseases. She kept repeating the line about wanting a disease of any kind... referring to everyone who is sick. I was struck unable to answer her. I know she truly believes God will heal anyone and everything, but I was happy when she left.

    This lady was no help.
    Marti




    The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

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      #17
      Oh Marti i don't blame you for feeling that way.

      i have been 'stuck' in similar situations many times and had absolutely enough of the person but unable to ask them to leave or end the conversation. Not the same words but similar attitude.

      Please don't let it bring you down. You've had a tough enough time lately.
      I no longer find it so hard to distance myself from these type of people (older maybe) i would rather spend my time alone.
      I actually broke off a friendship with a lady a few years ago who visited me often and meant very well, not a mean bone in her body, but she couldn't seem to discuss anything that wasn't a worry or problem or in anyway interesting at all and couldn't seem to comprehend that hers wasn't the only way of thinking on the planet.
      I could hack it when they lived in another town and didn't see them often but then they moved near us, and i stuck it out as long as i could, because i felt horrible about hurting her feelings but i was so miserable when she visited that it impacted others as well.
      I had an honest talk with her and explained that our conversations were actually depressing me and if she couldn't find other topics to discuss and visit less often then unfortunately i had to ask her not to visit at all.
      of course she was hurt and for a couple yrs she avoided me but i still spoke to her if we met up and never ignored her . We are quite friendly again actually, though no visits, she even rang me when her marriage broke up for advice.

      So please don't feel guilty for feeling relieved you're not alone.
      Caroline.

      Comment


        #18
        Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
        Oh Marti i don't blame you for feeling that way.

        i have been 'stuck' in similar situations many times and had absolutely enough of the person but unable to ask them to leave or end the conversation. Not the same words but similar attitude.

        Please don't let it bring you down. You've had a tough enough time lately.
        I no longer find it so hard to distance myself from these type of people (older maybe) i would rather spend my time alone.
        I actually broke off a friendship with a lady a few years ago who visited me often and meant very well, not a mean bone in her body, but she couldn't seem to discuss anything that wasn't a worry or problem or in anyway interesting at all and couldn't seem to comprehend that hers wasn't the only way of thinking on the planet.
        I could hack it when they lived in another town and didn't see them often but then they moved near us, and i stuck it out as long as i could, because i felt horrible about hurting her feelings but i was so miserable when she visited that it impacted others as well.
        I had an honest talk with her and explained that our conversations were actually depressing me and if she couldn't find other topics to discuss and visit less often then unfortunately i had to ask her not to visit at all.
        of course she was hurt and for a couple yrs she avoided me but i still spoke to her if we met up and never ignored her . We are quite friendly again actually, though no visits, she even rang me when her marriage broke up for advice.

        So please don't feel guilty for feeling relieved you're not alone.
        Caroline.

        I love you Caroline for understanding. I was afraid I would offend some readers with my post, but I was just reporting my experience to the group. Well meaning advice indeed. It's like this lady has a tape recorder playing with her voice spewing out almost incoherent words. She's very gentle, nice person and truly does "mean well". Her husband and his crew were doing some bathroom work for me which took about 5 days to complete. She goes along on almost all of their construction jobs to help keep things in order and to remember what the customer asks for. So, while they are working I was "trapped" with her on the couch for hours.

        I'm okay with the praying and teaching to a point. After awhile I am so exhausted, not to mention still grieving, that I just was getting mad and resenting her being there. I do appreciate her faithfulness and her wanting to help. Love her personally as a friend. But.. one of those days they were working a little old neighbor lady stopped by to offer her condolences. I had never met her... sweet thing. She understood losing a husband and just wanted to tell me I was not alone. This other woman left the room so we could have time alone. When she came back she told me she had been praying that the neighbor was not "putting her negativity on me". Anyway, you can see what I was dealing with and why I thought this fit in this thread.

        People can do more harm than good with their brand of "converting" or "teaching" I know I will run into her ... I always do... small town. And that's fine. I will be careful about hiring them to do any more work for me. That's the shame of it. I know she means well, but I have been confused and fighting anything spiritual for a long while and the more someone pushes, the harder it gets for me to believe. That is my problem. I will work thru it at my own pace.
        Marti




        The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

        Comment


          #19
          You are truly welcome marti anytime.
          "I will work thru it at my own pace."
          This is a gift we all deserve.

          Comment


            #20
            It's relentless! Those comments usually start with "You should..," whenever I hear a you should, I say I have so many shoulds I put them in the should pile. Someday i will get to it.

            Or I say, "if I do ______will it cure my MS?"

            Comment


              #21
              It was so great to hear everyone’s comments and thoughts. It sounds like we all get advice regularly...and of course, none of us has received the cure for MS. For the sake of our children and the next generation, I certainly keep up my hope and prayers for that discovery!!

              Comment


                #22
                Stepping up on to my soapbox....

                Originally posted by marti View Post
                I have to respond to this post. I had a lady in my home a few days ago whom I really like, but find annoying. She is VERY religious, but does not go to church. She seems to have memorized the Bible and I suspect she listens to tapes and reads all kinds of books. A bit over the top for me. I think she has constructed a "religion and faith" of her own.

                Anyway, we got to talking about how I don't feel good and the MS is grinding away. Her answer to me was something like this: "if you want to have this disease go ahead" "If you don't want it let Jesus heal you". She has said things like this before. I guess she doesn't believe in sickness or diseases. She kept repeating the line about wanting a disease of any kind... referring to everyone who is sick. I was struck unable to answer her. I know she truly believes God will heal anyone and everything, but I was happy when she left.

                This lady was no help.
                Oh my. I just read this and had a flashback to when I told a family member that the doctors are saying I had MS. She quoted Isaiah 54:17 as her only response (it was through text messaging). Here it is for the sake of clarity: No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

                I said I was a bit confused. She explained that the doctors were using their tongues as weapons and I needed to [basically] rebuke Satan and his helpers [the doctors]. Honestly, this belief was so depressing to me and really it shocked me. You see, by the time I told her what the doctors were saying, I had already been struggling for over a year and actually was THANKFUL because of all that I was learning. Mainly, it was humbling me, helping me to ask for help, helping me to slow down, helping me be more patient with myself and others, and so on. As far as character goes, every single thing I was learning was GOOD, not bad. All of the changes in my heart were GOOD, not bad. It was all pleasing to God. The very thought that SATAN in fact was the one that needed rebuked just seemed totally wrong to me. If that was Satan's idea of trying to bring me down, he sure picked the wrong method!!

                I embraced the MS and have been learning all I can from it. I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful it would have been if I would have fought it in the way she was saying!! Thinking it was an attack from Satan, etc. Anyway, I just told her I did not agree. I briefly mentioned how it's actually been a blessing in disguise. I also mentioned a few passages in the bible - one that sticks out to me is the disciple that was sick "nigh unto death" for the sake of the gospel. This is a total contradiction to that belief.

                Repeating myself I guess ... this belief that all illness is a lack of faith is so depressing to me. That means we all die because we lack faith!! It's a no-win situation. And the people who are so dead-set on this belief are often times discontent and stressed out, always trying to be faithful enough to heal themselves instead of just doing the best they can and leaving it in God's hands. God never promised us a road filled with all sunshine and roses! There is no character building in that. He gives us each what we need to help us learn and grow closer to him. Also, hardships help us to better sympathise with and help others who are in need.

                [now you see me stepping off my soapbox ]

                Not officially diagnosed due to non-MS-specific spots on MRIs, but the neurologists all agree it's MS.
                Frustrated. January 2019: finally saw an MS specialist worth seeing. Maybe we'll get to the bottom of this.
                EDSS of 5.5, sometimes 6.0

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by marti View Post
                  I have to respond to this post. I had a lady in my home a few days ago whom I really like, but find annoying. She is VERY religious, but does not go to church. She seems to have memorized the Bible and I suspect she listens to tapes and reads all kinds of books. A bit over the top for me. I think she has constructed a "religion and faith" of her own.

                  Anyway, we got to talking about how I don't feel good and the MS is grinding away. Her answer to me was something like this: "if you want to have this disease go ahead" "If you don't want it let Jesus heal you". She has said things like this before. I guess she doesn't believe in sickness or diseases. She kept repeating the line about wanting a disease of any kind... referring to everyone who is sick. I was struck unable to answer her. I know she truly believes God will heal anyone and everything, but I was happy when she left.

                  This lady was no help.
                  Marti,

                  I read the replies to your above post and this came to mind....

                  "Don't become so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good."

                  - O.W. Holmes

                  Only a real risk test the reality of our beliefs.* May your friend never be put to the test. May she never face MS.

                  Jer

                  *C.S. Lewis

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by 502E79 View Post
                    Marti,

                    I read the replies to your above post and this came to mind....

                    "Don't become so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good."

                    - O.W. Holmes

                    Only a real risk test the reality of our beliefs.* May your friend never be put to the test. May she never face MS.

                    Jer

                    *C.S. Lewis

                    Thank you. I believe I've read that one before. It's exactly what I was trying to say.
                    Marti




                    The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

                    Comment

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