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    #16
    Hi again,
    Is 2.30 in morning and am am wide awake n in pain n prob stressed. Should have upped meds tonight, haven't had this problem for ages, but have had a very hectic month or so with many ups and downs. Just thought i'd defrag with you guys if you don't mind.

    Ups:
    Grandbaby is a joy almost 2 mths old.
    Spending time with family has been nice.
    Went to Pink concert with DIL ,fun.
    Went fishing with hubby n caught one fish.
    Weather has been lovely n cool.
    Have a brand new heifer calf at our farm and some baby emus to watch.
    We have gotten some clearing and and other work done at farm that has been planned for a while.
    Son over seas is having a good time and is starting to look for work.
    Got 2017 tax finalised.
    Titre level still ok to continue Tysabri for another year.
    Doc seems happy with me.
    Now have new cheaper Ph n internet plans.
    Employee will return end August.
    Left shoulder has improved some.
    We cleaned carpets in whole house.
    got dishwasher working again after 4 months out of action.

    Downs:
    Have had a lot of pain in shoulders, that EPO cleared up before come back and haven't been able to rest them enough to let work again.
    Only current employee took 3 months off and have had to cover. Pain and fatigue making this a real chore.
    Hurt back while vacuuming- 4 days in LOTSA Pain.
    Discomfort while travelling etc diminishes enjoyment of activities. Can't hold bub for long.
    My end loader n tractor out of action for a bit.
    In drought so having to buy cattle and horse feed n fix machinery. Tax return gone.
    A calf died and a cow is missing.
    Vit D level to low.
    Memory seems worse. miss pills sometimes and pay the price.
    Missed Surgeon apt to remove lesion so deferred to Sep.
    Spent 5 days at 3 hospitals fighting for adequate treatment for hubby who was in intense pain with kidney stones.
    Bad tinitis has become constant companion.
    Had very tense day yesterday dealing with Telstra (ph's n internet) because of problems with supply and additional charges over last year. Still not all done. Causing anxiety.

    I don't know some times things do just fell TOOOO hard.
    I know they will probably improve and although I don't think i'm actually capable, but sometimes the desire to just stop fighting and just 'give up' is so strong.

    Ah well i've had my little whinge.
    Better get to work now.
    thanks for listening.
    Caroline.

    Comment


      #17
      Sorry you're having a tough night 🌙. And, yeah. Sometimes things must feel too hard.

      How encouraging, though,that you begin your post by listing "ups". Attitude and perspective make such a difference. I hope today is better.
      ~ Faith
      MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
      (now a Mimibug)

      Symptoms began in JAN02
      - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
      - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
      .

      - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
      - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

      Comment


        #18
        Thanks mamabug,

        is just nice to talk some times isn't it.

        Caroline.

        Comment


          #19
          Hi, sorry but its me again

          Gee it would be nice to focus on those up's a bit more often

          Still find myself superstitiously think the imaginary set of scales that balances the ups n downs might have swung back the other way for a bit.
          No, aa-ah, got more downs in store for you for this month at least

          Hubby has to develop kidney stones and so begins a week of pain,stress,emergency flight and driving and 3 separate hospitals and surgery and $2000 doc bills.

          Then to top things off I hit a Roo 35kms from home last night and have almost totalled my car.
          Spending hrs on the side of the road with hazard lights blinking waiting for a tow truck is a wonderful way to end the day.
          $650 insurance excess. Bed 12.30.
          Not sure if it will be able to be repaired or declared a right off.

          Had a lovely long cuddle of grandbaby today and go my first smile

          Hope every one else is having more ups than me.
          I have always prided myself on practising a positive attitude but boy-o-boy sometimes its hard!
          Thanks for listening
          Caroline.

          Comment


            #20
            Hi Caroline

            Gosh, sometimes when it rains, it pours.

            Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
            Hubby has to develop kidney stones and so begins a week of pain,stress,emergency flight and driving and 3 separate hospitals and surgery and $2000 doc bills.
            Pain and stress is right! Hope everything goes well for you and hubby during the week.

            Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
            Then to top things off I hit a Roo 35kms from home last night and have almost totalled my car.
            Spending hrs on the side of the road with hazard lights blinking waiting for a tow truck is a wonderful way to end the day.
            What a frightening experience! Hope you aren't hurt?

            Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
            I have always prided myself on practising a positive attitude but boy-o-boy sometimes its hard!
            We (as humans) have a full range of emotions. Expressing fear, disappointment, worry, anger, etc. is natural and normal. It's the "staying stuck" in the negative emotions for a long time is where some people seem to have a problem.

            Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
            Had a lovely long cuddle of grandbaby today and go my first smile
            From reading your posts, you certainly don't appear to stay stuck in the negative for very long.

            Wishing you the best in getting through these tough times.

            Take Care
            PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
            ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

            Comment


              #21
              Sorry for the stress and the "downs". So glad that, in the midst of it all, you got some grandbaby time. The endorphins that accompany those times are invaluable.

              My grandbabies from Canada are coming to visit us in two weeks. Really looking forward to that.
              ~ Faith
              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
              (now a Mimibug)

              Symptoms began in JAN02
              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
              .

              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

              Comment


                #22
                Thanks for the replies koko n mamabug,
                Sorry forgot to mention- unhurt.
                Mamabug i hope all goes pleasantly with kids visit and you have the energy to enjoy grandkids the way we wish we could.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
                  Thanks for the replies koko n mamabug,
                  Sorry forgot to mention- unhurt.
                  Mamabug i hope all goes pleasantly with kids visit and you have the energy to enjoy grandkids the way we wish we could.
                  Thanks. Two little boys. Age 2, and 9 months. Little M was so sweet on our last two visits. Whenever we get ready to leave the house, he says, "Mimi's cane" and gets it and brings it to me.
                  ~ Faith
                  MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                  (now a Mimibug)

                  Symptoms began in JAN02
                  - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                  - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                  .

                  - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                  - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
                    Thanks for the replies koko n mamabug,
                    Sorry forgot to mention- unhurt.
                    Mamabug i hope all goes pleasantly with kids visit and you have the energy to enjoy grandkids the way we wish we could.
                    Oh my! You have had a lot on your plate! It seems to be a tough season, which doesn't make it any easier for us to handle individually. I'm glad that you were not seriously hurt and I will be praying that all of the challenges are resolved or lessened, so that you can enjoy your blessings. Grand babies are wonderful!

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Thanks so much tia.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Ohh thank heavens!
                        Insurance has informed me that they are going to repair my car
                        I was so worried they may right it off.
                        The $'s that they would have given me WOULD NOT have been enough to replace it with something as good.

                        Unfortunately our luck is still travelling down an uncertain road.
                        My hubby parked behind our sons car a couple of days ago, on a hill, and his work ute rolled into the back of it. Neither is insured.
                        Not a huge amount of damage , but is still going to cost a fair amount to fix..

                        I don't know - i must have run afowl of multiple black cats, ladders and mirrors at some point
                        One step forward 10 steps back!!!
                        Am getting worried about hubby too. He is sooo stressed. He was born a worrier and it's starting to affect his health. There are check ups etc that he should have but they cost $'s that he would rather spend on bills we already have.
                        Its exhausting both of us trying not to worry the other.

                        Sometimes the urge to 'bale' and go live on a desert island with minimal contact with the outside world and simply 'live' is sooo strong.

                        Anyway thanks for listening- again
                        Hope lifes highway is being kind to you all.
                        caroline.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
                          Ohh thank heavens!
                          Insurance has informed me that they are going to repair my car
                          I was so worried they may right it off.
                          Good news!
                          ~ Faith
                          MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                          (now a Mimibug)

                          Symptoms began in JAN02
                          - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                          - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                          .

                          - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                          - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Can't take too many more hits

                            They changed there mind! Damb

                            To much to repair damage so the are going to write off my car.

                            I know i won't be able to get something as good for what the give me.

                            Really don't need the stress...
                            Thanks for listening

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Really worried about telling my husband.
                              He has so much on his plate at the moment and has really been over doing it. Might wait till he finishes night shift , stress impeding sleep already doesn't need more.
                              I haven't been much help of late.
                              Fatigue big time and this of course makes all the annoying sx worse.
                              And i have had a lot of pain in my shoulders for months that has only began to ease in the last couple of days. He's been doing 95% of driving etc for a long time now.

                              That feeling like a "burden" has always been a hard pill to swallow but i could always soldier on and get on with it.
                              Is getting harder .
                              Again thanks for listening.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
                                I haven't been much help of late...

                                That feeling like a "burden" has always been a hard pill to swallow but i could always soldier on and get on with it.
                                Is getting harder .
                                Again thanks for listening.
                                Sorry they totalled your car.

                                And, yeah. Our spouses didn't sign up for this either.
                                ~ Faith
                                MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                                (now a Mimibug)

                                Symptoms began in JAN02
                                - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                                - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                                .

                                - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                                - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                                Comment

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